WIBU for dh to take a big pay cut and for us to claim more tax credits?

[balenciaga]

I was going to nc for this as I think I'm gona be told we are being v v U. But fuck it am on my phone and can't nc on it and CBA to put laptop on to do it

Anyway. Dh has a new job. It's 32k, on that, we get 48 a week tcs with 3 dc (believe it or not that's ok money where we are)

However dh hates his new job, it's stupidly long hours and very stressful with no sign of letting up. I know it sounds pathetic but he has been in tears over it. we have a new (ish) born baby as well and he's never bloody here. And when he is, he is a tired mess and no good to any of us. He has a contact that has offered him a job working for him but it's only 20k

However it's a huge drop. And we initially thought he can't possibly take it as we would be skint. But then we did a calculation on hmrc site and worked out that if he took the new job we could claim higher tcs which would take us up to around a similar income, a bit less but not much

New job dh could do with his eyes closed and it's much less hours and easier work. So he will have a better work life balance and not be making himself Poorly with stress

But the idea of claiming more tcs doesn't sit right with me, and I also worry that soon they'll be put a stop to anyway

So I'm putting this to the mn jury...ps: fwiw I will be going back to work in a few months so we would not claim them long term

[MargotLovedTom]

Thanks Chunderella

[Annietheacrobat]

Sorry gatofeliz I just used the hmrc calculator.

[ThePinkOcelot]

Life is far too short to be stuck in a job that he hates so much!! Go for it!

[HouseofEliot]

Skyeskyeskye

I gave up work through ill health but not ill enough to claim benefits. Our income went from 35000 to 16000 over night. We got nothing extra for a year only £40 a month with 2 kids. We got extra after that year. The year after we owed them £600.

[LadyStark]

YABU

I'm sure lots of people would love less stressful jobs (I know I would) if they could afford it, if everyone did that and claimed tax credits to make up the shortfall we'd be in quite a pickle.

Has he tried to work 'normal' hours? Spoken to anyone at work about the workload etc?

[BeCool]

Years ago I left a very stressful job and got a really cruisy/easy job (but still quite well paid) thinking I needed a 'rest'. I was very bored - looking back now it was the worst job I ever had.

Less isn't necessarily more.

Maybe your H should be looking for a middle ground where he gets a job with more reasonable demands/hours, and earns a little less.

[littlemslazybones]

I think I have a higher tolerance for boredom than some of the posters here.

YANBU

If you are going back to work soon to make you less reliant on tax credits in the long run I think your dh's wellbeing is best served by this strategy.

[Virgolia]

It's ridiculous how people can actually plan their lives like this based on how much they'd get given from the government.

[iliketea]

Hmm, maybe against the majority, but I think YABU. The responsible thing would be for your DH to be looking for a different job while getting as much benefit as he can from the current one (experience / education), not planning your family finances on what you could get from the benefits system because he doesn't like his job.

[Sonnet]

Take the 20k a year job BUT only if you can afford to do it withiut claimng tax credits.

Maybe you could get a job to make up the difference?

What did us old gimmers do before tax credits?

[Gen35]

How long did it take dh to generate this 20k opportunity? I know he's exhausted and desperate, but it sounds like a big step back too, career-wise and not easily explained on a cv. Can he look for something else and try that? I don't think yabu though, just not sure it's in anyone's best interests

[captainproton]

Benefits surely are a safety net? Lot's of people work in jobs they hate, work long hours and are stressed out with young families.

It's the public purse that pays these tax credits, i.e. the rest of us would be working hard in order to pay for you guys to have an eaiser life.

[Babyroobs]

Sorry I think yabu, although it would possibly be more accepatable if it is a short term solution, or if you are planning to go back to work after mat leave. If everyone in a stessful job did this, it would be completely unsustainable.

[balenciaga]

Thanks for all the replies, Sorry I have only just returned

Re his job, the possible new job would still be full time hours (8 til 5 mon fri) so it's not like he'd be deliberately taking Some part time job and then sitting on his arse claiming benefits. It's also a management job same as he's in now but less senior. I don't want to say what field it's in as it could out us

the job he's in now is meant to be 7.30 till 5 but in reality it's 7am till 6pm at least. He has lost weight because he doesn't get to eat, he doesn't have a break. He looks grey and ill. Officially they are "allowed" breaks of course but it's frowned upon. The other day he was there 7am til 9.45pm honestly I know no one likes work but his conditions there are beyond shit. He took a day off holiday last week for dds 5th birthday but he had to lie about the reason because a kids birthday wouldn't be good enough. Then his boss rang and text him incessantly, ruining dd birthday

And Dh is only 42 so a long way off retirement although the way it's going his job will kill him long before that and I'm not exaggerating

God I'm so stressed. I'm carrying this whole family emotionally ATM I can't do it much longer

(And yeah what happened pre tax credits? I'm mid 30s and They have only come about in last ten years or so I'm sure )

[MiddleOfMarch]

I'd do it. You've had a range of advice on how much tax credits you'll get - it's worth checking with the helpline (if you can get through) or Citizen's Advice. You will have your Tax Credits reassessed immediately if your income will drop by more than £2,500 (and it will be your income in the entire year of 2014-5 so including a couple of months at the higher salary) - but they will treat you has having £2,500 more than you have for this year - the calculator does not take this into account and I got caught out by it - it explains it here - so check out you will get as much as you previously thought.

[expatinscotland]

Why don't you go to work and make up the rest of his lost income?

There is NO way I would voluntarily rely on benefits. You are then subject to the whims of the giver.

[Fideliney]

retro we got a dribble (and i really mean a dribble) of TC last year on a household income of forty something k, but that was due to three sets of disability premiums. The threshold can be quite high depending on certain factors but the customer service is so diabolical it is hardly worth it at those levels. I certainly won't bother should we have another year like that.

[ohmymimi]

There is something seriously awry with a benefits' system that enables someone to work fewer hours, in a less demanding job, to have the same income as another who works for longer, in a more challenging role, because the State makes up the difference. But this is not the OP's fault, and this is on offer, quite legally, so why wouldn't, or shouldn't someone take advantage of it?

As Sonnet said, how did people (like my Mother) manage before? They managed because they had no other choice, and still had immense pride in providing for themselves.

The safety net of the Welfare State seems to have become a comfy hammock for some, while providing a huge State subsidy to low paying companies. I have no idea what the answer to this is.

[Fideliney]

balen YANBU - if he is so stressed, he's in tears, then his current job is a risk to his MH and therefore unsustainable.

[TheFairyCaravan]

I would not do it. Just because you can doesn't mean you should IMO.

There are a hell of a lot of people in jobs they don't like, find stressful or the hours are long.

WTF would happen if everyone did that?

[campingfilth]

I'm single parent, work full-time in long hours and sometimes the thought of going to work makes me cry (and does!) and not least because I am shattered all the time. However, I do not think anyone should pay for me or my child and it really winds me up that people think they should allow others to pay for their choices in life.

Its people thinking that they can rely on others to support their life choices/pay for them that has contributed to poor state of this country. How i'd love to do some cushy 9-5 job and have my pay bought up to the same I'm on now but I just wouldn't as I have a sense of pride and wish to teach my child that sense of pride.

[Fideliney]

In the OP's position I'd be worried about how I was going to manage my own return to work faced with three small children in school/childcare and a partner who is unavailable to help with pick-ups and drop-offs or cooking etc AND stressed out of his skull.