To want my bf of six months to take down photographs of his previous gf who died tragically

[Botagonist]

My bf of six months' previous gf died suddenly last year in tragic circumstances. He still lives in the flat that they shared and I live separately with my two teenagers.

Am I being unreasonable to want him to take down a photo of her that he has in the lounge? It bothers me and makes me feel that I will always be in her shadow.

I have mentioned this before to him but he doesn't seem to understand how I feel and it's still there. I understand that people want to hold onto memories of the past but I feel this is detrimental to the future.

I think that the picture isn't about you, it's about him and what he wants, it's his flat now. The fact that she left the flat to him makes it sound like a long standing relationship if she had made a will despite them not being married as otherwise her belongings revert to her blood relatives.
I think you need to step back in this relationship and appreciate that in a relationship you make compromises and him wanting one photo of her in his flat isn't unreasonable. If you don't like it then take things more casually and visit his flat less often and give him time to grieve and move on more, although he may always want a photo of her in the house as she will always be a part of his past life.

"Because I don't need the visual reminder that's why."

It Is Not About You.

His need to have a photo up of his dead love hugely trumps your need to feel special, number one, etc etc.

He just took over the tenancy she didn't leave him it.

how long were they together?

Do you look like her OP?

2 years and no don't think we look alike.
Have a similar name though.

OP I will ask again - how did you meet this man? Did you know him when his gf was alive, do you have any mutual friends?

No met him through a friend 6 months after gf died

To clarify he went on a date with a friend who suggested we would be better suited. No other mutual friends.

I think the picture should stay up op. But I don't know if you should stay with someone who is not ready.

Why ask, OP, if you're only going to listen to the 5% of people who agree with you and not the 95% of people who agree with your boyfriend?

Because sometimes the minority are right!

Not here they aren't.

Well, that can't be proved either way!

No, but I'm always right so I feel confident in my assertion.

squoosh

The op isn't wrong to feel any feeling she may have. Acting on it would be wrong.

It could be said as succinctly as that yet plenty of posters have seemed to really enjoy sticking the boot in.

Many won't have experience of being with a partner who has been bereaved. It's a whole different thing to a difficult split. I suspect the op knows that and came on here to ask for advice on how to deal with how she feels, not be told she's a terrible human being and desperate too.

I expect feeling like you need to be the number one here will wreak what you do have.
I think you are struggling far too much so shortly into a relationship and your focus and concerns seem somewhat self indulgent.
You need to be able to comfortably except that your BF had a life before you.
A partner dying is vastly different from a couple splitting up.
when a partner dies your love for them doesn't stop alongside their breathing.
It must feel to him that you are trying to halt, short cut his grieving.
There are no short cuts to be had here.
At what point do you think he will be 'over it'
He should be able to have as many photos as he wants It's really not your call.
everyone grieves differently, it's not for you to tell him to grieve differently, or within a set time frame.that feels more suitable to you.
Maybe this relationship is not for you, at this time.