Travelling with HB abroad however teenage daughter not keen.

[MaartjeB]

How can I convince my daughter to come with HB and myself without her constantly saying : I'm not going!
We'll be going to UAE and there are some amazing places over there.
Of course there might be some negative points but I like to believe the positive points outbalance them.
Does anyone have experience of travelling with a teenage daughter?
She has her friends here etc....It's a big chance . How to make moving abroad exciting for her?

I would never visit the UAE since learning it's illegal to possess sex toys there.

Theodorous: the only person who said anything insulting on this thread - whether we agree with each other or not - was you actually

OP has your daughter said anything about why she doesn't want to move? What positive points have you discussed with her in order to see it through your eyes? (That wasn't a pointed question btw, just wondered if she's given you the chance to tell her why think she might like it?)

Also is it a holiday or is it a move? Wasn't quite clear from your orginal message. I could see that the second would be a bit daunting/frustrating for a teenager who's beginning to establish their own life, wherever the planned move to was. I think that would be a tricky one whatever the destination!

Theo of course there are issues with China and NEWSFLASH I wouldn't take my teenage daughter to live there either. I used it to point out that people who travel, don't live in one place all their life, aren't insular and do educate themselves, might also have an issue with moving a teenage girl to the UAE.

Not just ignorant, suburban housewives (which is sort of misogynist actually).

This is pointless anyway, the op left ages ago never to return.

Our parents moved about constantly during childhood for our father's work. It was always painted as an "opportunity" but the only ones actually enjoying the opportunity were not us kids. Losing contact with any friends made during the two or three years we stayed anywhere was very painful and making new ones knowing we would have to have to say "goodbye" to them five minutes later was damaging, to say the least. I know with modern technology this may not end up the same now but that may be small comfort to your daughter right now.

I won't even go into the issue of moving to the Emirates in particular except to say there are some countries I wouldn't set foot in if given the choice.

YABU

I think it's a pretty big upheaval and you shouldn't force her to do it. If you want to go travelling you need the realise the impact on people it has on others. Is she at school?

'Cheapness of insulting one region' Theo? Did you not insult China? I don't think people were trying to insult the UAE but were trying to explain the reasons why a teenage girl may not want to move there or why a parent may not want to move their daughter there.

It doesn't matter where people live it is just sad that travelling across shitty china is cool(because how many people would want to be Chinese, especially a woman supposing you escape being aborted for being one) but anywhere Arab and suddenly every housewife is an expert in women's rights.

I am not suggesting anything and I don't really care just find the cheapness of insulting one region tedious.

indeed.

I am not insulting China I am saying I don't like it because it was wielded as some sort of badge of liberal thinking. I don't have to like it just because it is considered edgy.

The only reason I wielded it as some sort of badge of liberal thinking is because you implied the only people with a negative opinion about moving a teenage girl to the ME are people who never leave their house. I was just telling you that I have left my house. Recently. Would you like a list of countries I have lived in or visited? Ranked by women's right?

No ta

I've lived in the UAE for six of the last eight years. I have a wonderful, fulfilling, interesting, responsible job. We live a full and happy life here. My husband and I are delighted that we've decided to bring up our children here- kids here are exposed to a wealth of different cultures and nationalities, and are in fact more well-rounded and broad minded than kids back home. The only downside is that school fees are expensive- but schools are wonderfully well-equipped, and teenagers benefit from a huge range of activities inside and outside school.

I've never experienced a moment's discrimination or harassment as a woman in the time I've been here. (For what it's worth, not that it should matter, we're not Muslim.)

I agree with Theodorous. The level of ignorance and bigotry on this thread is really shocking- though I do come across these types of attitudes sometimes with regard to the UAE. The people concerned have usually gleaned their information from a few biased Daily Mail articles and a spate of inaccurate reports during the economic crisis in 2008/9.

The UAE is an oasis of peace, calm and tolerance, in a region not known for any of these three qualities; over 200 nationalities live together here with remarkably little friction. Most people living and working here have a better standard of living than they would have back home. Perhaps this should be celebrated rather than attacked.

I've long suspected, based on hearing many a patronising and belittling comment about the Arab world, that many British people in particular are outraged that the Arabs of the former Protectorates have the temerity to be doing well for themselves and building cities out of the desert. (When they really should be doing the decent thing, scrabbling a life out of the sand, kowtowing to their former colonial masters, and looking to the UK for continued economic guidance.) Every time I hear Dubai described as "vulgar" and come across another snide article/comment about the UAE's maid-employing, 4 x 4 driving, shallow denizens, I think "but it wouldn't be vulgar if it was in Surrey, now would it"?

Happily for the UAE, the opinions of a bunch of sheltered, insular, frightened middle-class suburbanites on a site like Mumsnet really don't appear to be making a dent in its economic, cultural and social progress. The UAE is undoubtedly better off without their post-colonial bitterness.

I have a question for those who live in the UAE. What if your children are gay? Would you feel comfortable for them to still live there knowing that they could be punished if they got into a relationship or not feel able to have a relationship due to the law?

There are plenty of gay people here. How do gays get on in China? Or Russia?

My only experience of UAE is staying with my cousin on a 4 day stopover but I don't think it's unreasonable to say I wouldn't want to live there. There are literally hundreds of places I wouldn't want to live, given the choice. I don't think this is because I'm sheltered or insular or frightened, it's just no my sort of place. Neither is Skegness but I bet if I said I didn't want to live there people wouldn't say it was because I was too suburban. Does the UAE not have suburbs? Cousin lived in a hotel for 2 years and loved it but I didn't get it. I like the Southern Highlands and the Western Isles, which I'm sure a lot of people think are dull as fuck.

In the interests of balance I will say I would also hate to live in China. i hate Hong Kong too, (lived there for 12 years).

Gay rights are shocking in China and Russia but the OP asked about the UAE so that's why we are taking about there! Although there may be plenty of gay people isn't it illegal to be in a same sex relationship, so runs a risk of being punished.

Homosexuality is illegal in the UAE (and all Gulf states).

You can get into trouble for any kind of relationship if you are not married. Not just gay ones. I know plenty of gay people here. They don't advertise it, and they manage just fine. The police aren't out to arrest you. If you don't draw attention to yourself and stay within the laws there are no problems.

Who or what is an HB?

Gays get on shittily in China and Russia. How do they get on in UAE?

And lol at China being a liberal beacon, would love to see those threads.

The suburban housewife shit makes your own views hard to take seriously.

Actually I wouldn't live in Moss Side or Birmingham either. I lived in Shadwell for a year and got abused and threatened by Bangladeshi men every single time I was outside of my flat. So what? Many of ushave prejudices based on not very much knowledge.

Traveling or moving? If you're traveling why not just leave her with family while you enjoy a holiday alone with DB?

If you're moving.. I find that for teenagers, a "great opportunity" only applies to the parents. I moved as a young teen and hated every minute of it. I made new friends but it was not an "exciting opportunity". Don't try sprinkling glitter on a turd for her. Just tell the truth, yeah it will suck, but she'll make new friends and this is going to happen with or without her blessings. But don't expect her to be happy about it.

Where has the OP gone?

I didn't expect this thread to degenerate into a bunfight. This won't have made the OP feel welcome when she asked a perfectly reasonable question.

Very naive not to expect it to be tricky. Always some idiot comes on saying you can't drive in UAE and every woman lives in a jail and their neighbours brother lived there once and hated it. Same every time.

My parents moved abroad when I was 19, I didn't go with them. I understood their reasons for going (it was 1981, there was no work here for my dad) but I didn't want to give up my life here. I had a job, friends A FUTURE inside my head. This future, IMO, involved staying where I was. I visited them for a month about six months after they got there, and was very glad that I'd made the decision that I had. Yes, I could have got a job there, made new friends, but that isn't what I wanted.

OP, please try to put yourself into your teenaged daughter's shoes. Her life to date has been here, and the plans she has, even the unformed and vague ones, involve being here. Think about the scant information you have given us here :

"How can I convince my daughter to come with HB and myself without her constantly saying : I'm not going!"
It's not clear to me who HB is but I'm pretty sure he's not her dad. Your star may be hitched to his wagon, but hers isn't.

"Of course there might be some negative points but I like to believe the positive points outbalance them."
You like to believe. Umm, that's a bit wishy-washy IMO. Not you believe, but you like to believe. TBH that makes you sound a bit ambiguous about going yourself, which your daughter may have picked up on.

"Does anyone have experience of travelling with a teenage daughter?"
Not me, but I do have experience of being the daughter. The daughter who chose not to emigrate with her parents.

"She has her friends here etc....It's a big chance . How to make moving abroad exciting for her?"
I know I'm being picky here but you used the word chance, not opportunity. It's like the 'like to believe' - makes you sound unconvinced on the move too. Chance = risk, risks don't always come off.

Instead of trying to convince her to come with you, consider that she has the right to say no. I'm assuming she's 18-ish, because how you've written it suggests she doesn't have to go with you, she's not 13/14. nstad, talk to her about the practicalities. Where will she live, will her income meet her living costs etc. And accept that maybe your future in the UAE is just that - you future, not hers.