Aibu to thing she's a bad mother when I don't know her ??.

[Kitty18]

I never judge anyone cos I think that's just wrong but there's a mum in the baby groups I go to about four . She's got a toddler and a newborn her mother comes to help as well but it always seems she's never with her toddler just her baby and today she was with the other young babies mums bit of the group and her toddler climb on a chair t
So he can see his mum then run towards her but in sec she ushered her mum over to get him . I think that's really bad I would never do that . What do you all think ? Am I bang on or just being a bitch

OP, you are the sort of person I dread. I have a pelvic problem and often have to ask someone to chase my toddler whilst I care for my baby.

Ding ding we have a winner!

And I do know that a newborn need its mother most of the time that's normal it's how she send him away without so much of a hug when he's such a shy peaceful thing I know this because my dd spends time with him playing.

Good on you kitty

To be fair to Catsize it is a useful point for kitty to hear.

I have an invisible health issue too - there are millions of us - and OP is going to make herself look a prize tosser again and again if she doesn't learn to consider that type of possibilitybefore she rushes to judgement

Oh kitty, I was happy with your penultimate msg. But the last one is still judgey. Just leave it now.

it's how she send him away without so much of a hug when he's such a shy peaceful thing

So it's only the phrase 'bad mother' you've dropped then?

Kitty if the toddler is such a delight it's a fair guess that the mother is doing a decent job. Maybe approach her next time and get to know her. You both might benefit from the support.

Oh, and stop judging, obviously. It makes your face crack and your boobies sag.

Its true hes is a delight must be doing a decent job am going try chat to her next time I see her hmm sorry I have cake and choc

That may still give you saggy boobies. Go easy

Kitty are you not having a very good time yourself?

My boobs sag slightly already

What makes you think that I got bad pnd after dd but almost on the mend now I hope .... My mum always preferred my sister to me in a way I saw my face in his today prob why I got upset over it and called her a bad mum but long story. ...

Ah well that might explain why you sounded so poisonous about it. You don't want to walk around sounding like such a bitch if you're not.

Want to tell us?

147 million cheque? How? Apologies if i've missed point if thread, but frankly i'm pissed ass fart.

Everyone's lying arethere. 'Sall shirt buttons. OP started it

@ 'pissed ass fart'

Oh god you'll love me, I've got a 8 week old and a 20 month old and quite often go out just with the newborn (she's breastfed so can't stay with dp yet) one of the groups I go to is great because my friends keep an eye on the toddler so I can spend some time with the newborn. I spend all day with the newborn in a sling so I can entertain the toddler, poor newborn never gets a look in, this group is the only time I can play with my newborn. Don't judge anyone until you know the whole story.

I thought it came across in your op that you were sad for the toddler, Kitty. I know just how you feel, but it's likely that the mum is juggling like mad atm to try and give both dc the attention they need. It's really hard to do, and I know I always ended up feeling guilty about one or the other in the early days, with my first two dc.

I'm sorry to hear about your pnd, and hope you have some support yourself.

Kitty,take care and you dont have to explain yourself to mn strangers
Some threads go tits up,it happens

PND is an evil arsed whore Kitty. You have my sympathies and those of many here, I'm sure. Projection of your own insecurities is something I've struggled with from PND and it sounds a bit like that here.

It is sad and I know many mums (including myself) worry about having another child for this very reason. But think that wee toddler has had at least a year and a half of mum all to himself. The next child will never have that - so mum will just even up the balance a little bit when she can. And soon enough both kids will be rewarded with each other, a playmate and friend for life and there will be times that mum won't get a look in.

Try not to be too sad for him. He clearly has a loving mum (if he is a lovely boy being taken to playgroup) with a supportive family. I'm impressed the mum has gone to playgroup if she has her mum there to watch the older boy I would stay at home in bed

You survive the early days of newborn and toddler by delegating toddler to others where possible and concentrating on baby, especially if trying to establish BFing. She was lucky to have her mum there.

One of my first outings with two was to a playground. It was the first time DS had been to one in months due to SPD and a long winter. I'd managed to get a seat on a bench where I could monitor him, but the view was partially obstructed. After a while I heard some parents exclaim about a child biting, which I suspected was DS. I hope the parents didn't rush to judge me, I was doing the best I could. Baby was mid feed latched on to me, and the combination of slow healing 3rd degree tear and stubborn SPD meant that when I staggered over, I still looked like I'd lost the horse from between my legs. Balancing the needs of the 3 of us was incredibly difficult took many months of adjustment. All turned out fine in the end. I healed, toddler accepted baby and forgave all involved in baby's entry to the world and baby grew happily on abundant feeds of milk.

Having the luxury of a grandparent avaliable to support is a great bonus in the early days, and great for the toddler.