AIBU to give the au pair sandwiches for lunch?!?!

[munchee]

So, we've recently embarked on having an au pair for the first time. She is French. We are single person household with just me and my young son (aged 3).

For lunch, my son generally eats sandwiches-cheese/tuna/ham etc or perhaps beans or eggs on toast. The AP eats with him and therefore has the same sort of food. The AP has complained that she feels ill from eating bread for lunch everyday and that she would like to eat a cooked lunch with meat etc (more like what we would usually have for dinner)

AIBU to say no? I am of the opinion that "when in Rome, do as the Romans do" and (unless I am completely ignorant of the norm) I thought most families tended to have bread etc for lunch.

Thoughts please?

Some people just cant eat that much bread. Maybe you could provide salad ingredients to have with the cheese or tuna?

I agree though, if you are cooking a hot meal once a day YANBU to say its for everyone at tea time. Are there anyleft overs she could plate up for the following days lunch?r

Tell her to make herself a salad or omelette but cooked meals will be in evening

Would you like to be dictated to every day as to what you will eat? I doubt it.

She is taking care of your child, surely you want her happy rather than sluggish or ill? I'd hate to have sandwiches every day.

Soup or salad?

Would she like to make herself sushi? Or wraps? Or soup? They are all pretty simple and healthy, too.

Tell her the cooked meal is in the evening, but if she gives you an idea of the sort of things she'd like for lunch, you'll buy the ingredients for her (within reason!).

I can't eat bread everyday as it makes my IBS really flare up so it may genuinely be a problem for her especially if it's not something she has been used to.

Could you suggest some of the following?

Soup
Wraps
Salad
Oatcakes with cream cheese (or whatever)
Omlette/fritata - your son may like this too?
Jacket potatoes with filling - again your son might like this?

I wouldn't have a cooked 'meat and 2 veg' type meal for lunch but honestly can't eat sandwiches everyday.

I am not dictated to everyday because it's my house and I do the shopping and pay for it for that matter!

She is a guest in our house, here on a "cultural exchange" and I believe that part of that is eating as we normally do, not having a special diet!

She is able to have soup/omelette or salad on some days but some days there is not enough time at lunch (due to my work commitments) to do lots of cooking so we make sandwiches in advance in the morning.

I'm not keen on too much bread.

I default to wraps, soup and oatcakes, cream cheese on crackers with a big salad.

There's loads of ways of not eating bread

As a French person, she will be used to eating a proper meal at lunchtime. I don't like cold food myself and eat hot food at most meals. Things like omelettes or soup are hardly arduous, complicated cooking.

Can she make her own food? Is she eating in or out of the home? I would suggest omelettes, salads or leftovers if she has access to warming up facilities.

She is a guest in our house, here on a "cultural exchange" and I believe that part of that is eating as we normally do, not having a special diet!

She's a paying guest though surely?

As in she earns her stay by looking after your children for you?

Fine then go ahead and insist. I'm sure she'll look after your son much better if she's hungry or feels like crap.

As a French person, she will be used to eating a proper meal at lunchtime

Bit of a stereotype there!

Would she like to make herself sushi?

Who the hell makes their own sushi

Well she's not a guest she's an au pair and is earning her keep by looking after your son. You sound awful and I suspect she won't hang around long, I wouldn't!

Anyway you carry on as you clearly think your right.

Couldn't you just say she can make herself lunch if she'd like something different?

If she's not from the UK she's probably not used to eating so much bread, so yes, i think you would be unreasonable to say no.

But she can make her own lunch surely? I'd just get in some salad/cold meat/soup/omelette options and she can sort herself out.

It is a stereotype, Worra but it does seem to be true. Lunch took a full two hours when I was working there... every single day. That and kissing everything that moved seemed to be the reason we didn't get much done.

Yes, you can give the Au Pair a sandwich.

I've given my Butler Super Noodles.

Why can't she cook her own lunch ?
Don't understand how you being busy at work means she can't warm a tin of soup or boil an egg ?

I'm struggling to see how making an omelette requires "lots of cooking".

I think if you come and work as an au pair, you have to be a bit flexible. If bread every day makes her feel ill, she'll have to adapt by making baked potatoes, soup etc herself.

On the days you are out and about, she can make up oatcakes and cheese or something similar in the morning. If she can't have bread at all, she should have told you at the interview stage. I think this is perfectly reasonable.

You don't sound awful at all, OP. Bit harsh, itis.

You're not being very nice. How hard is it to find something she would like to eat?

Pasta salad. Couscous with roast veg and a slice or cold roast chicken if she is craving meat. Hearty salad with potatoes and a tin of tuna. Soup,

Loads of things that can be make easily in advance.

Ask her what she would like to eat, and buy her the ingredients and let her make her herself.

Saying 'I eat sandwiches, you're here to learn my culture so you have to eat my sandwiches EVERYDAY' comes across quite poorly. She's a young adult, away from home, looking after your child. Have a bit of compassion.

Why can't she make her own lunch, and also for your child, thus expanding his menu and returning the cultural exchange?