AIBU to give the au pair sandwiches for lunch?!?!

[munchee]

So, we've recently embarked on having an au pair for the first time. She is French. We are single person household with just me and my young son (aged 3).

For lunch, my son generally eats sandwiches-cheese/tuna/ham etc or perhaps beans or eggs on toast. The AP eats with him and therefore has the same sort of food. The AP has complained that she feels ill from eating bread for lunch everyday and that she would like to eat a cooked lunch with meat etc (more like what we would usually have for dinner)

AIBU to say no? I am of the opinion that "when in Rome, do as the Romans do" and (unless I am completely ignorant of the norm) I thought most families tended to have bread etc for lunch.

Thoughts please?

ILoveCorey, three things on your list are basically sandwiches (panini, toastie and beans on toast)

Saying that French people have a hot cooked lunch for lunch is NOT an overgeneralisation, it is just the truth. Mediterranean countries in general have lunch as their main meal. I am Spanish and have never EVER met a Spanish person who considers sandwiches a meal. After 12 years living in the Uk and New Zealand, and making a real effort into blending with local customs, one thing I haven't been able to get used to is precisely that one. For me, a sandwich is not a meal. And yes, I would feel ill if I had to have a sandwich for lunch for more than one day.

The OP comes across as a 'cheapskate'. She appears to be using this young woman as cheap labour but doesn't want to spend any money on feeding her. I hardly ever eat sandwiches for lunch and I know very few people who do - all those carbs and stodge, yuk, yuk, yuk! But, even worse, these are stale sandwiches as they have been made the night before.

You are not only being very unreasonable, you are also a disgrace to your country. This poor woman will go back to her homeland and tell her family and friends that the Brits are mean and have not the first idea about cuisine - which, of course, is wrong - but I can quite see why she might think it.

you are also a disgrace to your country

I'm exhausted and up with DS2, this made my over tired brain cackle for some reason. Thanks for the laugh!

Please go to sleep DS2

Sandwiches made the night before, wrapped and put into the fridge are not stale.

So what's on the menu today?

Agree with the posters saying that the French generally eat a "proper" meal at lunch time, it's a stereotype for a reason. Also agree with the cultural difference between what the English consider a sandwich and what the French do. Two slices of bagged sliced bread filled with a slice of ham or cheese is not quite the same as half a (real) baguette overflowing with salad, tuna, egg, tomato and mayonnaise for example.
Ask your au pair what she would like to prepare for lunch and let the poor girl get on with it.

YABU

Not a dig at wildswans, but I worked in an office with a woman who berated me for eating sandwiches at lunchtime 'all those carbs, disgusting' etc. Then would have pasta or a jacket potato herself.

am I the only person left in the entire world who loves sandwiches?
Plus I don't get how people complain that sandwiches are stodgy and also "not a meal" - what is this obsession with meat and two veg?

am I the only person left in the entire world who loves sandwiches?

No, I love sandwiches. But I'll defend other people right to not like them ;-)

I love sandwiches. Some days I'd rather have sandwiches than a cooked meal. DS too.

Why are children's party sandwiches so much nicer than anything from Pret or M&S?

maybe because I'm vegetarian but I also don't understand this thing about what is "a meal" vs "not a meal". If I fancy it and it's fairly nutritious then it's a meal IMO. I'll have one of the following:
-cheese salad
-a pot of co-op spicy noodles
-a plain omellete
-a pack of sushi
-a sandwich

and to me it's a meal. Most other people would class these as not a meal. Or cottage pie or spaghetti bolognaise is kids' food. To me they're meals for adults.
I think I missed a memo.

MIL once made what she described as a "light lunch". Chilli with rice, bread, salad and a jacket potato. Because it wasn't a slab of meat with potato and carrots it doesn't apparently count as a meal.

Can't she make her own lunch? Why do you have to make it for her? I'd hate to eat sandwiches or tinned food for lunch everyday too.

Find out what she wants in, get it in, and leave it to her to make her own lunch.

Our au pair makes the kids lunch, and then makes whatever she fancies for herself (I am at work; not making her lunch).

No problems.

am I the only person left in the entire world who loves sandwiches?
Plus I don't get how people complain that sandwiches are stodgy and also "not a meal" - what is this obsession with meat and two veg?

No, I love sandwiches and would happily eat them every day without feeling ill. I actually have salad for lunch as too much bread makes me put on weight.
DH has sandwiches every day and is not dead yet.

As I mentioned up thread, my sister loves sandwiches to the extent that it's pretty much the only food she eats.

I on the other hand, prefer hot food, but it doesn't have to be meat and two veg. This week I've had leftover chinese takeaway, soup, fruit and cheese, and meatballs and patatas bravas (leftovers from tapas dinner).

I also apologise for stereotyping the French. What I meant to say is that Most French people eat a proper meal at lunchtime.

And I hate the phrase 'light lunch'. The last time I was served what was described as a 'light lunch', it was sandwiches and cake so carb overload and I spent the entire afternoon fighting to stay awake.

To me sandwiches are the double edged sword of loads of calories together with hardly any filling power, so you eat loads and end up fat and hungry, whereas a meal that is protein/veg based is more nutritious, more filling and often has fewer calories.

French do not eat baguettes overflowing with salad, filings and mayo. Sorry but you're wrong there, you might get a bit of cheese and ham in it that's it. Much of their cuisine is as crap as ours actually crapper IMO. Let's not pretend they're all on cordon bleu every night.

I love sandwiches as well, though nowadays I normally have a pitta bread instead.
Most people I know eat sandwiches. I just find that people on this forum tend to obsess over eating tons of protein and bread being 'evil'.
Having said that ,I wouldn't expect anyone to eat anything they didn't like. There's such a variety of food available to give people whatever they fancy. I wouldn't be buying her steaks every day or anything like that (due to cost) but I would try and accommodate her tastes as much as possible.

Sicaq

Yeah I know but not a bit of meat between 2 bits of bread and I probably have a sandwich type meal 3 out of 7 not everyday. The other 4 I will have a salad or soup or a mushroom and cheese omelette, and a greggs corned beef pastie

I'm just saying eating sandwiches everyday, I would be sick of them as well and making her have a sandwich when she's saying they are making her ill is horrible, poor kid away from home can be trusted to look after ops kids but not to make her own lunch. Let her make hers and the DCS lunch, the kids could learn about French cuisine as well. Being culturally enriched works both ways.

OP, why are you making the AP's lunch? Surely if you were out at work rather than working from home she would get her own lunch together? I don't understand why you are making lunch for her the previous evening when she is there all day?

Stealth because it is fashionable to reject bread at the moment, that is all.

A sandwich made with good ingredients is a lovely thing, and I fail to see how it can be boring when there are so many variations of filling and bread to be had.

And yes at 'oh I don't like sandwiches' happily scoffing panini and toastie (aren't these essentially the same thing anyway?) as an alternative!

Read what I wrote, I didn't say I don't like sandwiches, where did I say that. I said I don't eat them 7 days a week for lunch and don't know anyone who does. I'm not keen on white sliced bread and one of my DB'S and DDs won't eat bread at all so there are people who don't like bread, maybe the AP doesn't.