AIBU to give the au pair sandwiches for lunch?!?!

[munchee]

So, we've recently embarked on having an au pair for the first time. She is French. We are single person household with just me and my young son (aged 3).

For lunch, my son generally eats sandwiches-cheese/tuna/ham etc or perhaps beans or eggs on toast. The AP eats with him and therefore has the same sort of food. The AP has complained that she feels ill from eating bread for lunch everyday and that she would like to eat a cooked lunch with meat etc (more like what we would usually have for dinner)

AIBU to say no? I am of the opinion that "when in Rome, do as the Romans do" and (unless I am completely ignorant of the norm) I thought most families tended to have bread etc for lunch.

Thoughts please?

Who said anything about white sliced bread? I don't like white sliced sandwiches, they are revolting and tasteless and dry.

Remind her about Marie Antoinette and give her cake for lunch.

Me, I said it. I don't like white sliced bread. I didn't say you do

Op you are taking advance of your op , you should treat her like your own teenage because you don't pay a wage. I feel very sorry for her , stop penny pinching her and buy different different food for her or get a nanny and pay them a lot more money.

IDK what sandwiches the ops making or with what bread but DD and DB won't eat any bread, nothing to do with being healthy or unhealthy. They just don't like bread for some reason. I wish DD would eat it as it would be much easier if she did especially when she visits friends and their DM make a sandwich for lunch and she has to say she doesn't eat bread.

I like a sanwich, I'm not keen on white sliced bread but would eat it if someone made me a sandwich with it.

I can't Imagine telling someone I don't like sandwiches and having them every day is making me ill but still being expected to eat them every day, having to as my boss says I have to with no other option offered

Ask the AP what she doesn't like about the sanwiches, Is it the type of bread they are made in or he filling. Ask her what bread and filling she likes and make them on some days, on other days offer her the choice of soup, a baked potato or a salad of some sort.

I like sandwiches if they are made with bread and a filling I like, just not everyday.

ILove - the bread (if it is French baguette bought in Sainsburys here) is what is making the AP sick. she obviously doesn't like sandwiches so why force the issue.

I doubt if the AP wants sandwiches made for her she just wants the choice to have a nutritious, filling meal for her lunch with a reasonable choice of food. I assume the AP will cook for herself and I dare say it, being French may well be a better cook than the mother.

or a wrap alibaba - which, unless I'm wrong is bread in a circle shape?
I love them but it's just a fancy sandwich and is no "better" than a sandwich surely

Stealth can you (could I?) bake your own wraps? or is that really hard? just wondering.

sometimes the wraps are nice depending on where I go (Boots, Sainsbos etc).

Super - I agree. If it was my AP I would buy in the food she says she likes, wihin reason for lunch and let her make it herself

From reading OPS posts I don't think she will do this

"French do not eat baguettes overflowing with salad, filings and mayo."

Yes they do! The picnickers in Parc Monceau eat such things almost exclusively!

Do you mean make the bready bit?? I certainly can't!
I do fill my own wraps though, they're lovely.

Lol at the French eating baguettes overflowing with filings! Must break the teeth!

can't she cook for you and your child? Also bread everyday for your child?!

you can also make pasta in the evening and eat it as a pasta salad the next day, etc.

Also what is the fact she is French as to do with anything?! Finally she is not a guest she is providing you a paid service.

in short YABU

also nice to see that Mumsnet is not void of cultural stereotypes and casual racism :(

frenchjunebug my siblings and I ate bread every day as children. We're perfectly healthy, thanks (and we weren't overweight, either)

If she's at home at lunch with your son, why can't she cook for the both of them & save you some for your evening meal?

I'm a hot meal at lunch & light evening meal person.

I hate a cooked evening meal tbh-such that I prefer to go out for lunch!

Haven't read all the responses, but:

None of the continental Europe countries eat sandwiches for lunch day in, day out.

I would not cook specifically for her but if she can cook for herself (omlette, tortilla, soup, salad, sausages) then why not. Your child would also benefit from the variety.

No, don't force your au pair to eat something she doesn't like/makes her feel unwell. Why would you want someone staying in your home and looking after your child to feel ill or unhappy? I'm sure there must be other options she'd be happy with that won't break the bank.

She is a guest in our house, here on a "cultural exchange" and I believe that part of that is eating as we normally do, not having a special diet!

Sandwiches must be serious business over in Britain.

Just because it's a staple food item doesn't mean everyone will like it. Beans on toast sounds absolutely disgusting (and like it would make the bread soggy), if I had to eat it even once I think I'd stubbornly refuse it cry.

It's not refusing to take part in a culture if something makes you feel sick. I'm sure there's other parts of British culture she can easily take part in. Like tea. And bad dental.

...and free healthcare.....

Jacket potatoes
Salad
Omelette
Pancakes

All reasonable lunch options, and other than the top one, all options available for lunch in France. If she'll be out, she could make a pasta/potato salad of some sort and put it in a pot?

If I were the au pair it would make me seriously consider leaving. Sandwiches are for picnics, not day-to-day and I would find it very odd to be expected to eat them when at home with plates, forks etc are available.

Invite her to prepare lunch and involve your son. It will be better for him and you will have an happier and healthier au pair

And yes, YAB V U

We live in the south of France and all businesses close 12 -2 so that people can get lunch. A typical lunch would be a proper three course meal while the evening meal tends to be a light snack like a salad or a quische. At the weekends most people have even longer, family lunches. It's not a racial stereotype, it's just a cultural practice, there is no moral judgement in it about the right or wrong way to eat lunch, just a different practice,

Your au pair may be having a problem with supermarket bread as such. French bakeries tend to be independents which bake from scratch to their own recipies all day long. British supermarket bread is pre-cooked dow and has a different taste. Could she not reverse the order of meals, eating the previous day's evening meal for lunch and having a snack for dinner?

Some people are generally not satisfied nor feel well on bread.

My husband has soup for lunch each day and feels better for it. He just heats up a Covent garden one at work. Cheaper than buying lunch, and healthier than most options.

A lot of people in Europe eat more dinner type things for lunch, and even breakfast.

A bit of give and take is needed, I suppose. Would she eat a tin of mackerel in spicy tomato sauce that you can get quite cheaply, or cold cuts of meat and salad which aren't too bad in terms of price?

Can you roast a couple of cheap chickens (you can sometimes get 2 for a tenner) so she has chicken meat to eat?

I can see how providing this kind of thing twice a day instead of once might blow your budget and make your dishes overflow, but I'd imagine there is a compromise to be had?