To have taken ds's prize off him for bad behaviour?

[Hangingwiththeraisingirls]

Not sure if we were too harsh or not harsh enough!
Ds is 4, nearly 5, and we are away on holiday atm. We've been to a theme park today and there was a magic / entertainment show for the children.

The man started by saying he'd got a balloon animal to give at the end to the child he saw watching nicely and taking part the best. It was a lovely one, a big dinosaur made of quite a lot of balloons. Ds's eyes lit up and he sat all the way through, shouting out when told to, doing the actions etc.
The entertainer chose several children to take part. He teased these children, telling them they had stinky feet, were ugly, smelt like socks etc.
ds thought this hilarious.

At the end the entertainer chose ds for the balloon dinosaur. Ds leapt up on stage thrilled, had his picture taken and then unfortunately said to the entertainer 'you smell too, you smell like poo' he said it about twice before dh managed to get to him and tell him to stop it! Dh then gave the balloon back to the entertainer telling ds he had been too naughty for it and dragged off a wailing ds. He also has taken away half his holiday pocket money (£5) and told him he now won't be able to buy the dinosaur set he had his eye on.

I'm not sure if this was ott. Ds was rude but I think he was trying to play along and at 4 is unfortunately obsessed with poo.
Otoh ds needs to learn what's appropriate and what's not and both dh and I were mortified.

Were we unreasonable? It did spoil the day tbh.

pigs we had a book from the library over and over potty poo poo wee wee... Ds loved it..Probably stll would if he came across it now 7

DS loves The Mole Who Knew It Was None Of His Business. The 'poop up' version. AND 'Pooh, Is That You Bertie'.

You do realise that OP and her DH will be breaking open a bottle... of smelling salts after all this talk of poo.

Buy him some sweets and tell him his dad is a massive arse. That's where poo comes out. Tell him his dad smells of poo and is made of poo. Tell him that his dad is the Minister of Poo and works in a poo factory wearing a suit made of banana skins

Just kidding, the suit would obviously be made of poo

Best. Post. Ever.

I'm not Crossbag.

I'm not bothered about ds being obsessed with poo - we also have the dinosaur that pooped christmas / the world.
I would just rather he didn't tell people who were being nice to him that they smelt of poo! I think if the entertainer had said to ds 'you smell' and ds had retaliated it would have been fine. It was just a bit random - here's a balloon for being so good was met with 'you smell like poo.'

Anyway ds has had a nice day, been on the beach (in the rain) and is now shattered. Dh does have a tendency to fly of the handle. He actually wouldn't be as strict over ds hitting or something - it was because it was an adult I think. He works very long hours and doesn't see much of ds and I think he does forget what is normal behaviour.
Dh does have a tendency to treat me in a similar way if I'm honest.

Here is my first LTB then.

Boo fucking hoo op loads of people work long hours and don't act like arseholes towards their children.

What is your problem,why are you still insisting your DS did something wrong

Dh does have a tendency to treat me in a similar way if I'm honest.

christ, it just gets worse.

OP - what are you planning to do? Please don't say nothing, this situation can't be allowed to continue. You haven't once, not once even indicated that you think your H was wrong (or that you were wrong in not standing up for DS) and that's really not right at all. 16 pages of people saying this - are you listening?

Meant to add WIFE and children.

Abusers act like that not decent people.

How many people do you need to tell you this

I'm not particularly - am I? I said I'd rather he hadn't said it that's all.

I do think it was over the top - yes.

I'd still like to make him a new balloon dinosaur.

Has your DS's money been returned to him yet?

Cannot believe you are justifying your husband's behaviour by saying he works long hours. Your son did nothing wrong!!! Listen to everyone who said this. If you and your husband regularly treat him like this he will grow up one unhappy little boy.

I just told my DS the story (7) he thought it was hilarious...

This shows how a 7 year old thinks of this never mind a 4 year old....

Your Ds was joining in with the comments the entertainer was making not walking up to a random person in the street.

OTT. ~If you think that this vocabulary is inappropriate (I would) you should have left the show explaining him why. You cannot use double standard with a 4 YO ie it is funny when someone else says it but you cannot.

so are you going to speak to your H and say he was OTT and that he needs to look at his temper and parenting? Say he needs to apologise to DS? And will you stand up for DS when this happens again (as I have absolutely no doubt it will, as I don't think you're going to change a thing)?

Poor little kid, he was mimicking the words he'd heard and probably thought it was going to get a big laugh, I feel so sorry for him, he wouldn't understand why you did what you did, can't you see things from a child's point of view? I feel so bad for this boy.

After 16 pages OP you're still trying to justify what happened to your little boy. And yes, of itself it probably won't scar him for life, but I'm guessing from your last sentence of your last post that this is not an isolated incident and there's a huge back story wrt your husband's behaviour towards both you and your son.

Maybe, as others have said you need to get yourself a relationship thread. Your husband doesn't sound like a nice man.

I will try but I already know I won't get far.
He'll just walk away.

OP- I don't think you understand the seriousness of this. Your little boy's future is in your hands. Clearly your husband is shit at knowing what is right for him- please protect him from future upset. It is your job.

Hanging - are you OK? I assume you've read all 16 pages....

OP, I think you have stood the chorus of YABUs with good grace and taken a lot on board.

But I am very concerned to hear you say that going against what your DH says would make the holiday unpleasant and that he tends to treat you in a similar way.

You've got a lot on your plate at the moment, so don't rush into anything, but please do think about your situation. You've said enough to make a bunch of strangers very concerned about you. Maybe there's nothing in that and we're overreacting based on a few snapshots of your life, but maybe what you're taking as normal isn't really.

Why don't you talk to a social worker and get some face to face professional advice

Ffs Op step up to the task and start protecting your son. Just because you get to choose to live with a nasty prick, it doesn't mean your son has to take the consequences.