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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have taken ds's prize off him for bad behaviour?

446 replies

Hangingwiththeraisingirls · 27/05/2014 18:27

Not sure if we were too harsh or not harsh enough!
Ds is 4, nearly 5, and we are away on holiday atm. We've been to a theme park today and there was a magic / entertainment show for the children.

The man started by saying he'd got a balloon animal to give at the end to the child he saw watching nicely and taking part the best. It was a lovely one, a big dinosaur made of quite a lot of balloons. Ds's eyes lit up and he sat all the way through, shouting out when told to, doing the actions etc.
The entertainer chose several children to take part. He teased these children, telling them they had stinky feet, were ugly, smelt like socks etc.
ds thought this hilarious.

At the end the entertainer chose ds for the balloon dinosaur. Ds leapt up on stage thrilled, had his picture taken and then unfortunately said to the entertainer 'you smell too, you smell like poo' he said it about twice before dh managed to get to him and tell him to stop it! Dh then gave the balloon back to the entertainer telling ds he had been too naughty for it and dragged off a wailing ds. He also has taken away half his holiday pocket money (£5) and told him he now won't be able to buy the dinosaur set he had his eye on.

I'm not sure if this was ott. Ds was rude but I think he was trying to play along and at 4 is unfortunately obsessed with poo.
Otoh ds needs to learn what's appropriate and what's not and both dh and I were mortified.

Were we unreasonable? It did spoil the day tbh.

OP posts:
magpiegin · 28/05/2014 13:15

What does concern me is if that is the punishment for this incident how is he punished when he does something that actually is naughty? What if he hit another child or something? I would worry how the dad would react to something like that.

moominmarvellous · 28/05/2014 13:24

Poor little fella. Got caught up in the excitement of the moment and got punished for it.

Such a confusing message: to have an adult call him smelly etc and him understand it was all in the spirit of fun (some children wouldn't) only to be punished for it.

I have a friend who goes completely over the top as your DH has done. He comes down on his daughters like a ton of bricks for every little thing they do - no accounting for the age or the circumstances. I don't know if he does it to look as though he's in control and takes no nonsense, but everyone just feels sorry for the children and thinks he's an arse.

I dare say there were a few parents thinking the same of your DH. If that were my DH I'd be fucking livid.

iirc · 28/05/2014 13:31

I'm sorry but your H is a prize cunt.

He does not know how to be a parent or a husband.

But you don't care what we think because your scared of him .

I usually have upmost sympathy for abused women but not when they allow their own child to be emotionally abused too.

I am not normally harsh but feel like your son is being worn down til he's just a shell.

Poor wee man. :(

iirc · 28/05/2014 13:32

I'm sorry but your H is a prize cunt.

He does not know how to be a parent or a husband.

But you don't care what we think because your scared of him .

I usually have upmost sympathy for abused women but not when they allow their own child to be emotionally abused too.

I am not normally harsh but feel like your son is being worn down til he's just a shell.

Poor wee man. :(

iirc · 28/05/2014 13:32

I'm sorry but your H is a prize cunt.

He does not know how to be a parent or a husband.

But you don't care what we think because your scared of him .

I usually have upmost sympathy for abused women but not when they allow their own child to be emotionally abused too.

I am not normally harsh but feel like your son is being worn down til he's just a shell.

Poor wee man. :(

iirc · 28/05/2014 13:32

I'm sorry but your H is a prize cunt.

He does not know how to be a parent or a husband.

But you don't care what we think because your scared of him .

I usually have upmost sympathy for abused women but not when they allow their own child to be emotionally abused too.

I am not normally harsh but feel like your son is being worn down til he's just a shell.

Poor wee man. :(

iirc · 28/05/2014 13:32

I'm sorry but your H is a prize cunt.

He does not know how to be a parent or a husband.

But you don't care what we think because your scared of him .

I usually have upmost sympathy for abused women but not when they allow their own child to be emotionally abused too.

I am not normally harsh but feel like your son is being worn down til he's just a shell.

Poor wee man. :(

iirc · 28/05/2014 13:33

I'm sorry but your H is a prize cunt.

He does not know how to be a parent or a husband.

But you don't care what we think because your scared of him .

I usually have upmost sympathy for abused women but not when they allow their own child to be emotionally abused too.

I am not normally harsh but feel like your son is being worn down til he's just a shell.

Poor wee man. :(

iirc · 28/05/2014 13:38

Sorry for multiple posts - my wireless is being weird.

sashh · 28/05/2014 13:42

iirc

Nope I think it needed saying more than once

MummyPig24 · 28/05/2014 13:52

I know this is 15 pages long, and I am late to the party but...

Massive, massive overreaction. The poor boy was only making a "joke" like the entertainer was. If that was my dcs I would have said "don't be rude please" and left it at that. Your ds sat really nicely the whole way through and he deserved that balloon! What a mean person your husband is.

mellicauli · 28/05/2014 13:57

Aside from the judginess, you want to stop the incessant poo comments (so so wearing) tell him if he can stop for 30 days he will get the dinosaur set. Count it off on a chart with stars. Give him a couple of chances to forget. If he really messes up, don't go mad, just say oh dear, we'll have to start the 30 days again now.

BitOutOfPractice · 28/05/2014 14:18

30 days?!? That's a life sentence for a 4yo!

justmuddlingalong · 28/05/2014 14:21

A star chart for not saying the word poo, at 4 years old? Christ, has the world gone star chart mad?

littledrummergirl · 28/05/2014 14:28

Given the history of the op, penis beaker, charilla, I think I understand why her dh gets away with being a prize twat.
Unfortunately her ds will take the brunt.

MrsCakesPremonition · 28/05/2014 14:30

Honestly, the only person who showed themselves up was the DH making a tit of himself in front of the entire audience by doing his best impression of Mr Angry.

On the plus side, I'm sure all the other parents will have given you a very wide berth after your DH's tantrum so you will have a nice quiet break.

PoirotsMoustache · 28/05/2014 14:47

Poor little boy, being so harshly punished for acting exactly his age Sad

My DS was/is just like that, constantly on the go, loud, excitable, liable to go a step too far with joking around. Told off, certainly, but punished? No, not unless he was actually naughty.

His father does not sound like a pleasant person at all.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 28/05/2014 17:12

Aside from the judginess, you want to stop the incessant poo comments (so so wearing) tell him if he can stop for 30 days he will get the dinosaur set. Count it off on a chart with stars. Give him a couple of chances to forget. If he really messes up, don't go mad, just say oh dear, we'll have to start the 30 days again now

30 days?!!! Absolute lunacy - that's a month, you do realise? FFS this child is 4 years old despairs

Montegomongoose · 28/05/2014 18:06

you want to stop the incessant poo comments

He's four and sounds like a poppet.

Who the fuck wants to stamp out poo jokes?

He clearly has an impeccable sense of timing and occasion. I'm assuming you don't spend every day chasing him Benny Hill style with him shouting 'poo' and you plus your entire neighbourhood shaking your fists at him?

Buy him some sweets and tell him his dad is a massive arse. That's where poo comes out. Tell him his dad smells of poo and is made of poo. Tell him that his dad is the Minister of Poo and works in a poo factory wearing a suit made of banana skins.

Just kidding, the suit would obviously be made of poo.

Lepaskilf · 28/05/2014 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 28/05/2014 18:51

iirc so what's your opinion on OP's OH? Grin

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 28/05/2014 18:52

crossbag sounds like you and OP's husband are made for each other. disgusting comments there, hope you don't have kids. Vile.

Atbeckandcall · 28/05/2014 19:21

There's a book called The Dinosaur That Pooped Christmas. I bought it for my dn and dd.

Dd not bothered in the slightest (probably because me and DH find poo, farts, bums, willies and fannies) HILARIOUS!!

Stiff upper lip in laws dd couldn't control the laughter.

My name is mud now though Wink

Catsize · 28/05/2014 19:40

Is it just me who suspects crossbag might be the OP?

pigsDOfly · 28/05/2014 19:47

Oh yes Atbeckandcall that reminds me, when my DC were small we had a book about a little boy learning to use a potty - obviously for children younger than 4 - and it talks all about weeing and pooing and even had a picture of the poo the little boy had done in his potty. My children loved it.

Wish I could remember it's title. It was a best seller at the time.

It's still up in my loft as I have been forbidden to throw it away by my now adult children.

It was read so much it is almost falling apart.

Children are interested in poo. It's a perfectly normal healthy part of a child's development for them to find all things poo, wee and bum related funny.

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