to be toying with the idea of having a baby alone with donated sperm?

[honeykitten]

Reasonably financially secure, no family whatsoever to help and no man on the horizon (mid 30s.)

I know I am a daft old woman

YANBU at all

Why should you miss out on one of lifes most wonderful opportunities just because you didn't find the right person or accidentally get pregnant

Good luck!

I think it's a great idea.

But you'll need reliable friends.

And a back-up plan for everything. Illness, redundancy, flood, fire....

And you do need to ask yourself whether you are good at picking partners. There'll be no family to interfere help you protect your child if the next one turns out to be rubbish....

Yadnbu, I have a good friend who did this and it's been wonderful.
Good luck from me too

Go for it.

There is loads of advice on the internet and books about explaining to a child about conceiving using a donner.

If you don't ever become a mum because you didn't find the right person you will always regret it.

Good luck to you. I think there's absolutely nothing wrong wih it.

I would say that it's a good idea to think it through properly and to build up a support network if you can.

:-)

YANBU. If you want a child, and are in a position to support one, then I'd say you're better off going for donor sperm than getting pregnant by someone you don't want to be in a relationship with. By mid 30s I think it's sensible to consider "What if?" and choose to be proactive rather than waiting for the right relationship to happen along, if having a child is high on your list of important things.

as a single mum I wont lie - it will be bloody hard - especially the new baby/lack of sleep stage BUT I would still say go for it

Can you borrow a baby for the weekend to have a go

Next one? I think you may have misunderstood: I haven't picked any rubbish relationships. I just don't really have any.

I would hugely regret it if I didn't become a mum and am scared of leaving it too late (I am 35 next year.)

My friend did it and has never looked back.

She has her mum to help with child care though. But plenty of single parents manage without family nearby. It's not easy, but it's not easy whichever way you do it!

YANBU.

Go for it!

Gordy - I'll be honest, I can deal with babies because they go where you go!

I'm am petrified of toddlers though

My friend is going through this now - 2nd attempt.
I know she'll make a wonderful mum and it's what she really really wants.
She does have loads of family and friends around her though.
If you want it then you go for it.
Good luck.

I'm not sure using a donner is such a good idea icanseethesun

Sorry honey - I wasn't trying to imply that you've had rubbish relationships, just that having a child may render you less fleet of foot if any future relationship goes wrong. And it will be harder to deal with if you have no family around for support.

(You may want to start listening to The Archers...)

Apart from that I think it's a great idea.

YANBU - I am SP, 2 DC, no family around at all, arsehole XP. It would all be alot easier without the grumpy X!!

If it is what you want go for it.

That's crossed my mind as well, be cool. Worried about rushing into a relationship, relationship being totally unsuitable and splitting with all the heartache that goes alongside this.

In some ways it's easier to go it alone (obviously a loving relationship is best but can't see it happening!)

Do it. Lots of luck

I did this and have the most fantastic Dd. I was with a partner at the time (also a woman) who didn't want to be involved and we split up when dd was a baby so I basically did it on my own. I'd say go for it. Feel free to pm me if you want to chat more, am happy to share more if it helps!

Opppss I don't think a kebab would sort it out.
Doner I meant Doner.

Do it, if you dont you might regret it. It certainly doesnt hurt to look into your options and you can get your fertility checked and know where you stand.

Kebabs!

Tangerine, thank you - I will do so.

It isn't daft at all if it's what you really want to do.

Id do it. Id already decided that if I hadnt become a mother by the time I was 30 then I would start to research it.

I say do it!

I can't imagine not being a mum.

I can't really imagine meeting a partner either!

So ... I suppose I do really want to do it, although it's daunting to say the least.

In your shoes, I think I would do it...

...but be prepared for the first few years to be the hardest of your life ever, and to regret your decision a few times along the way.

Read up (on here, or whereever) about difficult babies, and prepare yourself that you might get one of those. Your comment I can deal with babies because they go where you go makes me worry that you might have underestimated babies a bit. My (difficult) baby certainly didn't go where I went. My movements were entirely dictated by what made her sleep most and scream least - not a simple equation.

Sorry to be so negative! I would still do it!