Bride to be telling everyone they can't put the pictures they take of the wedding online but must use an app instead

[AlwaysLookOnBrightsideOfLife]

...so she & groom can see them first, before verifying them and uploading.

I think I've seen it all now. Just saw a message online from a bride to be, telling all her wedding guests that they 1. Can't upload pics they take on the day to fb/other social media, 2. They must use an app instead & send their pics there instead, 3. They aren't to send their pics to the app until 24hrs after the event and 4. The b&g will go through the pics themselves after the event & upload them to social media if they like them .

Aibu to think this is really unreasonable especially for it to be demanded & bridezilla-esque or am I just not in touch with the times? Is she unreasonable in her request or is it a case of their day, their rules? Would you want to go to a wedding that had this rule imposed?

If it helps, her reasoning when not asked was that she didn't want people to see any pics before they got there and spoil what they (the b&g) look like for them.

I went to a wedding like this. The b&g wanted only black and white 'vintage' looking photos on social media. What nonsense.

My DN went to a friends wedding and put on her FB page the MOST AWFUL picture of the bride with 'how beautiful does she look?' as a comment. Not at all - but my DN looked lovely. Sabotage ? Probably - perhaps this is why she wants to vet the pics first ?

Fuck her. How is she going to police that?

Bet the invitation came with a tout for cash.

Actually I don't understand why you'd need to put someone else's wedding pictures on your Facebook page.

So you can say ooh look at me at a wedding aren't I popular?

Surely people you know who'd care about the pictures would have been at the wedding so will have pictures of their own.

It's rude to micromanage your guests. You are welcome to make simple, polite requests (don't bring a gift; please everyone wear black and/or white; don't park on the church lawn) but a four-part instruction to turn over their own copyrighted material to The All Powerful Couple? They are being ridiculous and I hope all the guests start madly FBing photos of the bride in the loo.

You might FB pictures of a wedding b/c some friends and family have not been able to make it. They will enjoy seeing the photos and commenting on them. My friends and I did this at the last wedding we went to. Lots of other friends had not been able to make the trip. Everyone got involved in the wedding that way, and some of the better comments were read out during the speeches. It's Social media. Also fun.

Well that's fine fluffy if that's what the b & g want and have specifically requested you to do so.

I hate photos of myself and we ended up paying a fortune for a wedding photographer in order to get a code of shots that I didn't recoil in horror from for the rest of our marriage!
I asked guests to please not upload any wedding pics of me onto fb as I would have hated to have my memories 'tainted' by horrible pics. That may sound shallow and self obsessed but fortunately for me my friends get me and understand my issue.

As far as I am aware, this was not an issue for anyone-indeed, at quite a few weddings I have been to since b&gs have made the same request. I think it is normal and polite not to upload wedding pics of the happy couple onto social media.

No it is not okay for them to dictate this. It is fine to say you don't want photos of you or your family on social media. You can not dictate what people do with photos of their own family, even if they were taken at your wedding.

Many parents would post photos of their own DCs at a wedding, to share with other family members.

I have asked people at events not to share photos of me at social events on social media. But I have no right to dictate what they do with photos of their family taken at events I have organised.

If I go to a wedding and want to take a photo of my own child whilst there then surely I can do whatever I like with that said photo? No bride or groom can dictate to me whether I share my own photo of my own child in my Facebook so my own friends and family can see it. Surely?

Ahh you see I had assumed that the op meant pictures of bride and groom and wedding party, not of own family.

I had originally but further replies make it appear not to be the case.

I got married during FB era, and I must say - I was v relaxed about people posting pics, but some friends put the most god awful photos of me up (why I don't know, guess they just wanted to share SOMETHING). I wish they hadn't, I look really horrible & I have so many nice photos of the day.

Anyway, I don't know why you would refuse to do this if yoi actually liked this couple. I know it goes against mn protocol to show visible interest in any aspect of your own or anyone else's wedding if it is anything more fancy than 6 people at the registry and a bag of crisps in the pub afterwards, but really if you don't want to celebrate in the way they want then don't go!

excuse, my mother put a photo of my stillborn daughter's funeral on FB! We'd not even shared her name on FB yet my mother put a whole message about it and then got angry when I asked her to remove it!

Might there be any adopted or cared for children in the photos? My sis had to strictly control friends uploading photos of her kids to social media because their abusive birth father was still actively looking for them for a long time.

The same happened at DS Xmas play - nursery requested no Facebook uploads until they hsd vetted photos so cared for/adopted children could not be identified. So poss not nec anything to do with bride and groom - they may be protecting vulnerable children who will be present.

ocelot - The request is for any photos. That includes a photo you might take of only your DC with no one else in the background.

OK so that's a bit odd....

Dino

We just didn't allow pictures during our ceremony so that only the professional photographer had our pictures. We didn't tell anyone in advance, we just had the pastor announce it before the service that photos were allowed and that we had a pro photographer to do the job. They were told to take as many pics as they wanted during the reception. No one complained or had ill feelings about it.

I think we just uploaded the whole CD to fb the next day or so. Didn't matter we had unique pictures that no one else had. The reception photos everyone had was different shots of other friends and family having fun. So they were all different and fun to look at.

What a load of nonsense. So you get the odd bad photo of yourself on FB - so what? Biig fat hairy deal. Get over it, and concentrate on the important things like having a great day with your friends and family.

I'm with DoJo on this. I'm unphotogenic and for just one day, my wedding day, I'd like to be supported by my friends in being able to relax without the fear of unflattering photos of me ending up plastered all over the internet.

Maybe this bride has different reasons, but I would not tell most people in real life what my reason would be, so you never know really...

And, quite simply, if you don't like the rules then don't go to the party.

I had ten people at my wedding- I made it really clear that I just wanted a really simple, private ceremony. I never put photos of myself or DD on Facebook, no real reason. My now DH is estranged from his mother- she abandoned him age 4 but now stalks him on linkedin.
My sister, within 24 hours of the wedding and unbeknownst to me, had uploaded an album entitled "Montagues & partner wedding" and the date, with 40 photos of the ceremony that I didn't even know were being taken, which were hideously blurry and unflattering and yet managed to capture my 5 month pregnant bump in graphic detail. This is on a profile that has no, none, not one privacy setting so is open for all the world to see. I asked her to remove the ones that showed us saying our vows etc and she hasn't spoken to me since.