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AIBU?

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Original poster

Bride to be telling everyone they can't put the pictures they take of the wedding online but must use an app instead

201 replies

AlwaysLookOnBrightsideOfLife · 25/05/2014 10:54

...so she & groom can see them first, before verifying them and uploading.

I think I've seen it all now. Just saw a message online from a bride to be, telling all her wedding guests that they 1. Can't upload pics they take on the day to fb/other social media, 2. They must use an app instead & send their pics there instead, 3. They aren't to send their pics to the app until 24hrs after the event and 4. The b&g will go through the pics themselves after the event & upload them to social media if they like them .

Aibu to think this is really unreasonable especially for it to be demanded & bridezilla-esque or am I just not in touch with the times? Is she unreasonable in her request or is it a case of their day, their rules? Would you want to go to a wedding that had this rule imposed?

If it helps, her reasoning when not asked was that she didn't want people to see any pics before they got there and spoil what they (the b&g) look like for them. Hmm

OP posts:
EduardoBarcelona · 25/05/2014 11:42

i get the basic premise, its tagging I dont get

Sparklingbrook · 25/05/2014 11:43

I don't get the what difference it would make if a violent ex saw the pictures?

FyreFly · 25/05/2014 11:43

That's why a professional with a proper camera will be there Eduardo - doesn't matter how pissed or blurry they are, it'd be a memory of a damn good night nonetheless :)

Original poster
AlwaysLookOnBrightsideOfLife · 25/05/2014 11:43

Plus the reasoning behind it all for her is to do with the "wow factor". Surely those that get that factor for her will be there throughout?!

It's definitely not down to her not liking pics, not being photogenic etc. Hen pics were all allowed & she frequently posts pics & lets others do so of her over various SM. I think for her it does come down to spoiling the "wow factor". Which is fair enough as it's her day. It's just all the rules/demands being imposed on others re:vetting the guests pics, using an app etc. Hmm

OP posts:
OwlCapone · 25/05/2014 11:43

Any guest who can't cope with waiting to upload photos of a wedding really needs to take a long hard look at their social media addiction.

PassTheCakeitsbeenatough1 · 25/05/2014 11:44

Well I wouldn't want crap pictures of me putting on facebook, I think that if the bride wants to avoid this on her wedding day then there's nothing wrong with that. Just take the pictures for them and send them via the app.

Lots of people have said that they must be poncey and that she should be grateful that people bother to take pictures, maybe they are but they just don't want unflattering pictures putting on the internet for all to see.

There is nothing wrong with asking for no pictures to be put on until the day is over, I think it's weirder for people to do that with photos from other people's wedding than it is for the bride to request that people don't!

Sparklingbrook · 25/05/2014 11:44

It would give the guests something to do in the boring bit between the speeches and the disco anyway.

specialsubject · 25/05/2014 11:45

we all own our own image and this request is PERFECTLY REASONABLE. If they don't want pictures of them splattered all over the internet, that is entirely their call.

go to the wedding, take photos - but ask before sharing.

as for the comment about only being invited for the evening - so don't go if being invited to a party annoys you so much.

FyreFly · 25/05/2014 11:45

Easy Sparkling - if someone is trying to hide from their ex, they probably won't want them to know where they live, what name they may be using on social media, who else they know (and therefore who can be used to track them). Their own profile may be extremely well hidden but their friends profiles may be less so, and if there are photos on there that anyone can see...

Same as some schools won't allow pictures because a child is being protected.

OwlCapone · 25/05/2014 11:46

Plus the reasoning behind it all for her is to do with the "wow factor".

Perhaps they are getting married dressed as Kermit and Miss Piggy and don't want others to spoil the joke.

Hedgesinthewind · 25/05/2014 11:46

I dont think it's unreasonable to ask guests not to post pictures on social medias.Some people dont want their pics on the internet at all

Tangerinefairy · 25/05/2014 11:46

My cousin and his wife requested this. I didn't think anything of it really, up to them, understandable I think.

Sparklingbrook · 25/05/2014 11:46

But the photos will be up the day after the wedding anyway Fyre. Confused

EduardoBarcelona · 25/05/2014 11:47

oh never go to an evening do. Is a blatant attempt to get more presents imo

Sparklingbrook · 25/05/2014 11:47

I am so glad i got married in the nineties and there was none of this fiasco.

calmet · 25/05/2014 11:49

If it was about vetting pictures of the bride and groom, fine. Totally unreasonable to say that the bride and groom have to vet photos you have taken of your own children at someone else's wedding. That is totally up to the parents, no one else.

FyreFly · 25/05/2014 11:49

Sparkling Yeah in this case it's obviously not a privacy concern, I was just trying to offer reasons as to why someone may want control over pictures of them on social media :)

Sparklingbrook · 25/05/2014 11:50

Would you be allowed to put on your wedding outfit at home before you left and take a picture and post that on FB? Or is that not allowed either?

ForgiveMeFather · 25/05/2014 11:51

OP if you are going to this wedding because you love/like and wish to support the couple on their wedding day then surely this 'rule' won't be too hard to adhere to or cause you any inconvenience.

If on the other hand this is just another freeloading 'day out' for you and your 'besties' and you can't wait to add yet more fodder to your social networking stream, then maybe it would be best if you stayed away.

Sparklingbrook · 25/05/2014 11:51

Oh ok Fyre yes I understand that. Hopefully in that situation people would realise-but then again....

Original poster
AlwaysLookOnBrightsideOfLife · 25/05/2014 11:53

I get the not posting on social media request, that to me is perfectly reasonable BTW. The rest made me go Hmm although I'm maybe just not with the times.

With the rules imposed (that all wedding pics have to go via app to be vetted etc), as a pp stated surely that means you can't upload a pic of you & your dp at the wedding (even after 24hrs - as it hasn't went via the app for b&g to vet it and upload it themselves).

OP posts:
calmet · 25/05/2014 11:53

I would be tempted to go, take photos just of my family, and post them on facebook. It is none of their business what people do with photos of their own family.

Hulababy · 25/05/2014 11:56

Does this apply to just photos of the bride and groom, or to all photos taken on the day?
What about a guest taking pictures of their own family members at the wedding? Or their own child perhaps as a flower girl? Or their niece and nephew running around playing in the grounds?

calmet · 25/05/2014 11:58

It seems to be any photos. If it was just the bride and groom, that is fine.

Hulababy · 25/05/2014 11:59

I find weddings and the neediness of some brides and grooms so OTT these days. They forget that although the wedding is the most important thing to them, to most of their guests it isn't the once in a lifetime event to be obsessed with day in day out. Yes, it is a nice day and they are there to wish their friends well - but more than that,, really?