To think I shouldn't be paying all this out?

[thepolymysticovary]

DP is a self-employed cab driver. He earns around 1200 per month for around 50 hours a week.

I work 20 hours a week and earn around 600 per month. I have been looking for a full-time job, but to no avail. A part time job is better than no job, I say.

Dp and I are childless, and have lived together for coming up to three years now. We both pay half to all househouse bills which adds up to 700, so 350 each.

As I also have to pay 100 for travel expenses to/from work and other little costs, I am left with next to nothing.

As I really struggle each month, I suggested to dp that it would be fairer if I paid 50 per month, and therefore he paid 50 more. Especially as each month I would say he spends at least 50 on his hobby, 30 on going out for drinks and he buys himself clothes whenever he wishes.

Last month, for three weeks, I was walking with holes the size of fifty pence pieces in my shoes because I couldn't afford new ones til I got paid, and the coat I wear is ten years old and rather threadbear.

Granted, he does take me for weekends away, and for meals out a few times a week, so AIBU and just an ungrateful piece of work?

Make no mistake he's a dick, but she's enabling him.

" I would be ashamed if a son of mine turned out like this man."

You could just as easily say that about the women in this case too. Surely you'd be ashamed if your daughter thought she could work just twenty hours a week and expected a male to pick up the bulk of the costs rather than up her hours. There are no children involved, no marriage and absolutely no reason to work part time.

Yes he should pick up after himself but a boyfriend and girlfriend paying 50/50 isn't wrong. Unless ill or a job loss, surely you split costs rather than play the gender card. The only reason he has more money is he works more hours, something the OP could do but doesn't.

Happy what part of the OP saying she is trying to get more hours has passed you by?

I dont know if you have noticed but there are not many jobs about these days! I should know, I have been looking myself and despite using the job sites, papers, agencies etc have still not go anything.

Must be cosy in your ivory tower.

I don't have a daughter but if I did I wouldn't be ashamed if she asked about the possibility of adjusting financial arrangements temporarily whilst she tried to find more work.

I do have a son and I'd be bloody ashamed if I'd raised him to think that someone else was responsible for picking up his underpants or cleaning his crap out of the toilet. Even my 5 year old puts his own laundry in the basket.

OP - if you aren't married and have no children together, then I honestly don't understand

1. Why he expects you to do his share of the housework?

1. Why you expect him to support you financially?

Your relationship could end tomorrow.

If you don't have kids and are only working 20 hours a week then if you can't find full time work today then is there a course/training/volunteering of some description that would enable you to find full time employment in the future?

This situation could be a case study for a PSHE lesson.
Or a very traditional world view: don't live together before marriage.
Or an idiot's guide to feminism. Don't elect to do wife work if you don't even have the (questionable) benefits afforded by that status.

'Play the gender card'? Don't be ridiculous. When the gender pay gap has been closed then you can say something like that. In the meantime, it shows extreme ignorance of how the world works.