To think it's snooty to make a point of not socialising with colleagues

[Vintagejazz]

I'm not talking of people who prefer, most of the time, to socialise with friends outside of work. That's probably healthy and normal.

But I've come across some people who, on some kind of point of principle, refuse to entertain the idea of going to any social event that's work related or to even to just go for a casual drink with a colleague after work. I even know a guy who boasted that in 30 years working he had never been to a retirement do, a promotion celebration or an office Christmas party. He seemed to think that was some kind of admirable achievement.

AIBU to think that it's a bit of a silly position to take and there's no harm in occasionally going to the pub with colleagues to wish someone well in their retirement or even just to have a wind down and a laugh with people you spend so much time with in a work related setting?

Give over Daisy. Christ you are reading like a bloody textbook for Red Flags now. Damn near all your posts have been rude, PA, snide and arrogant. From your very first 'miserable knobs', the calling 'chicken' of another poster (are you 12? And yes, that was PA) the head tilts and the glee with which you jumped on any mistake and twisted posts to your own agenda.

You and people like you are exactly why I chose not to socialise with people I work with. I like to be around people I want to be with, for the fact that I like them, they are good people and similar in age/outlook as myself. Not people who share a workspace with.

Maybe it's time you looked at yourself, rather than telling other people to do so.

Lots of pas on this thread now

LTEve It was me who made the Give over remark.

There is a huge difference between someone making general remarks about 'some miserable knobs on this thread' and someone directly attacking one poster and calling them an 'arrogant bitch'. One is acceptable on an AIBU thread, the other isn't.

I think you're the one misreading posts now Crystal. Where have I ever said I organise work socials??

Think it was a joke...?

Nope, unfortunately. I don't think it was.

Wow Lteve you need to calm down. And no, I'm not being passive aggressive before you start going over all my posts and picking out lines here and there to make a case. Seriously, you sound seriously wound up.

Oh. I laughed.

Trouble is Scarlet that even politely declined to go out can be misconstrued as rude or snooty.

An example,

'Oh, MrsIts, We ask her to come out with us but she never does. She must be boring/weird/a bitch'

Cannae bloody win!

Least you know where you stand with a straight 'why would I want to socialise with work colleagues ' as rude as it might be.

LTEve It was me who made the Give over remark

Wasn't a quote, was me telling her to 'give over' in the same vein as 'come off it' or 'who do you think you're kidding'

*politely declining

Well I laughed too Beeyump because it was such a text book way of trying to worm out of an argument you're losing. But I don't think it was a joke.

Not wound up at all upwiththelark. Sitting here in the sun, drinking a coffee and reading MN . I see you managed to get over your flounce last night, do you feel better now? (Yep, that was PA - see how easy it is?)

Oh I'm well aware of how easy it is LtEve. I've read lots of your posts. (Ooops, I've just gone and been PA).

Beeyump, don't worry, you are right. See the winking emoticon at the end of the post. A wink means a joke (unless of course you are trying to twist another posters words that it)

Anyway, glad you've calmed down now, dear. (Oops, I've done it again).

Or sometimes a wink is used in a PA sense LtEve

Thanks for explaining that a wink means a joke!!

Fudge. I'm really confusing myself with this thread now.

Easily done beeyump. PA is hard work, I prefer calling people on it rather than using it. Lots of fun in RL though

When I worked in the corporate field, I would go to a retirement or leaving lunch but I never did the Christmas party (mainly because my best friend died on Xmas Eve when I was 19 and so for many years Xmas was something I observed for family but it was not a time I wanted to go and party or celebrate).

Our firm used to do a big weekend away for the entire company and pay for hotel, huge gala dinner, bus travel if you didn't want to drive and I never went to those. I never went to after work drinks on a Friday. It never harmed my career.

As others have said, I was spending 40+ hours per week with these people. I liked some, I wasn't keen on others. Why would I want to spend even more time with them when I could be with my friends. You choose your friends, you are thrust upon your work colleagues or vice versa. IF they then become friends and you want to socialise away from the office, that's fine, but you don't have to.