To think it's snooty to make a point of not socialising with colleagues

[Vintagejazz]

I'm not talking of people who prefer, most of the time, to socialise with friends outside of work. That's probably healthy and normal.

But I've come across some people who, on some kind of point of principle, refuse to entertain the idea of going to any social event that's work related or to even to just go for a casual drink with a colleague after work. I even know a guy who boasted that in 30 years working he had never been to a retirement do, a promotion celebration or an office Christmas party. He seemed to think that was some kind of admirable achievement.

AIBU to think that it's a bit of a silly position to take and there's no harm in occasionally going to the pub with colleagues to wish someone well in their retirement or even just to have a wind down and a laugh with people you spend so much time with in a work related setting?

Wow Smiles just wow

Crystal just because you are at a different stage in life and don't have much in common with your colleagues doesn't really excuse dismissing them as 'a bunch of arseholes'.

All of them Crystal, over ten years??? I agree, that really says more about you than them.

And Smiles I hope you're feeling bloody ashamed of yourself.

No. I stand by what I've said.

Well, then you're definitely not the kind of person I'd wish to socialise with. I'm going to leave this thread now.

Me too. Pretty despicable behaviour

Think I'll withdraw as well. A very rough element seems to have come on here.

Yes, I think Smile's behaviour has put an end to this party. I hope she's proud of herself.

And yes, have too much going on in my life to waste time on someone who behaves like a spoilt, bad tempered teenager.

Lol smiles, the irony of having a little foot stamp and calling someone a bitch, whilst yourself being...... v v bitchy!

There is a general rule re work that I live by, and I'd like to share it with you (it relates to working on shift, but can cover any group scenario).
There is always a 'shift wanker', the one person that everyone grits their teeth and tries to get on with, but who is an utter wanker to be around.
If you don't know who the 'shift wanker' is, then it's you.

Smiles, who's the 'thread wanker' on this thread? Bet you don't know!

Goading someone into hitting out and then patting each other on the back when it happens?

Not exactly something to gloat about. More of a Red Flag for an abuser.

Let's hope it's confined to a screen.

No one 'goaded' her LtEve She wrongly accused another poster of not reading a post correctly. When she was called on it she turned around and verbally abused the poster. It was a disgusting display of bad manners and spite.

She very rudely accused me of not reading Crystal's posts correctly. When I gave a quote from one of Crystal's posts which totally confirmed what I'd said, she then hit out like a spoilt brat stamping her feet and throwing a tantrum and making personal remarks,
No one's gloating. People are just expressing their disgust at her comments.

Oh and I agree with Scarlett's comment. If you are constantly going around criticising everyone else and insisting they're all out of step and you can't stand anyone at work and never could, you need to look closer to home for the problem.

...and your own passive aggressive, snide and sarcastic posts are perfectly fine are they DaisyMaisie?

There was no passive aggression. I stated, upfront, as did a number of posters that if people were constantly having problems relating to and liking the people they worked with, then they needed to look more closely at themselves.
I also directly told Smiley, when she replied to that point, that I had not misread Crystal's posts.

If people don't want to socialise with the other people they work with what's wrong with that? I'm one of them! I'm not weird or rude or difficult to work along side,it's just after my shift I want to go home. If someone leaves, retires or whatever I'll sign cards, contribute to presents but I'd really, really, rather not go out to socialise with them thank you very much!!

If that makes me snooty then so be it.

I politely decline the invite, I'm not rude about it as there is no need to be. In the past I've made excuses and invented stories as to why I can't come out but why should I? No thank you should suffice.

That's fine MrsNow. Remarks on here about being difficult to work with were addressed to posters saying that everyone in their company was an arsehole etc etc.

Well I used to work in a factory alongside a lot of folk who behaved like crystal skulls has described. I got on with them but socialise with them - no thanks! Not my cup of Tea.

MrsIts, that's not rude or snooty at all.

I'm more or less the same, I very rarely go out these days in the evenings, but I do like doing the lunch thing as it's nice to have an out of work sit down and chit chat with colleagues. Sometimes I don't eat but just have a coffee, it's just about being a bit social - not just a load of workbots.

Like you, I would say to an evening thing that I had no interest in "no thank you, but thanks for the offer. Have a lovely time" or words to that effect. It's the utter twattishness of "why would I want to socialise with people I work with?" that is the problem.

The problem with socialising through work is that it is all on the terms of people who like going to the pub/bowling/going for a meal.

I like socialising but I like sitting over a nice cup of tea chatting about vegetable gardening and doing up houses. Funnily enough my young, single, sporty colleagues would rather stab themselves in the eye than do this. Equally I would rather pull my toenails out than to have to spend evenings sitting in a pub chatting about music, BGT/X factor.

I dont call them names for not doing what I like, I dont expect to be called names for not doing what they like.

It is only fair.

Some people just can't cope with socialising with colleagues. I found this when I worked within a big company. I never felt at ease. So it was better for me not to go.

Oh give over Crystals. You very clearly gave the impression in your posts that you considered everyone you worked with arseholes and that in the ten years you've worked for your company you have disliked all of the people you have to work alongside. Daisymasie didn't say you were rude to them. She said if you had a problem with your entire work force then maybe the problem was with you.