Childminder criticised my parenting

[PrincessMummy13]

My 11 month old DD recently started at a childminders when I returned to work. Have known childminder for years, she is lovely and my DD is always happy to see her and happy when I pick her up.
However when I picked DD she asked to have a word as she had a couple of issues.
She has said I don't dress my girl appropriately for the setting and for her development. I like to dress my DD nicely in pretty, girly dresses and little cardigans, she looks so cute in them.
The childminder said that my DD is often too cold and the dresses get in the way when DD is rolling round on the floor etc.
She suggested I keep the frilly dresses for parties and put DD in leggings and tops for her house.
She then went on to say the food I give to DD is not really appropriate either. She said I give her too much sugary and salty foods and not enough lumps.
She said she only has my DD's interests at heart and she was really worried about saying something as she didn't want to attack me.
WWYD?

RTFT will continue striking as people pile in having only read OP!

These aren't really fundamental parenting decisions are they? If you said the decisions I'd made about being kind, or hitting people were wrong I'd be more offended.

Maybe rather than tshirts you can suggest pretty tops, tunics etc.

To all those saying RTFT- it not the reader's fault this is a silly reverse- there's no law against just commenting on the OP. And if the baby is wearing a vest, dress and cardigan and is still cold, then your house is too cold.

Why do people not have the OPs posts highlighted?

I get that not everyone reads every response but if you have the ops posts in a different colour at least you can read all of those posts?

I would tackle both issues separately. Start by mentioning to whoever drops her off have you got any legging, track suit bottoms to put her in with a fleece cardy or something? Just saying she's moving more and more now and needs something she can be more mobile in to keep up with the others. Keep it light and breezy, change the subject quickly to what fun she had that day etc.

Food wise I'd try and get them to make changes slowly. Mention she couldn't get enough of the grapes you were passing round or the carrot sticks, mention she loved those with hummus etc. Bit by bit try and change it and if they don't get the hint some things you might have to mention a bit more directly - i.e. the juice and the salt/sugar laden stuff. Try and expand the baby's diet a bit yourself so you can say another little child was having porridge and X loved it etc. Maybe they're lazy and give up trying after the first go. I think if you don't do a blanket criticism of her whole diet they might be more willing to listen to the odd item and the other stuff can be introduced bit by bit.

delphins Its the OPs fault for doing a stupid reverse thread in the first place, this always happens.

Reverses don't bother me. Posters are right when they say that the CM would have been told to wind her neck in if she's posted as herself. You sound a lovely CM and u can see why you did this.

Not sure what to suggest really aside from going to charity shops and a nearly new sale and sticking up on leggins shorts t shirts so the poor thing can actually move. She's a baby not a doll what a stupid thing to do.

Perhaps you could accidently drop her dinner on the floor and feed her some actual food that's been near a vegetable :(

if she is your friend and goddaughter i would feed her some better food and then tell the mother (who sounds very young) that she tried some other kids carrots and LOVED them so maybe we could send more of them or x or y...

and also, get some leggings and jumpers on ebay and change her into them - also say she picked them from a box and wanted to try them on

I think the CM's criticism must be taken as a positive thing - like every parent I'm sure you want the best for your DD.

I used to be rubbish at cooking but my goals are simple try and get the children eating as little processed food as possible make sure they get a wide variety of different coloured fruit and veg every day and something from each of the major food groups - ie unrefined carbs, protein and veggies. Whether she eats it is another matter but if you offer it she will get used to good food. I offered steamed broccoli every day and for eight months it remained for the most part untouched but now my DC love it and always chose it first.

I think you need some easy meal plans: Have you seen [www.fishfingersfortea.co.uk Fish Fingers For Tea Blog] It is good and Annabel Karmel has some really easy things that are quick and take no skill to prepare.

For breakfast porridge or weetabix is always good with plain yoguart and chopped fruit.

Popular snacks in our house include chopped fruit, oatcakes with Meridian Peanut butter it has no added salt or sugar, eggy bread, salad ie chopped peppers, cucumber and tomato.

Meals when we are short of time include: sardines on wholemeal toast with salad, omlettes just grate in carrot, courgette, onion, chopped peppers and tomoatoes and a little cheese but cheese is very salty. Roasted chicken drumsticks (you just shove them in the oven and serve with stead rice and vegetables). Chunky soup made with veggies, lentils and chicken. Dahl with tinned tomatoes, grated carrot and peppers on pasta etc. Steamed fish (4 mins in the microwave is also popular).

Try only offering water, I'm sure she will drink it just persevere she will get thirsty.

My DD wears lots of dresses because she hates waistbands and always takes off anything with a waistband so I put her in a bodysuit with tights underneath so she can't take them off and shortish dresses on top. If you are really wedded to dresses at least make sure they are soft stretchy cotton (H&M is good for these, I got some yesterday for £2.99).

Good luck.

I think the CM's criticism must be taken as a positive thing - like every parent I'm sure you want the best for your DD.

I used to be rubbish at cooking but my goals are simple try and get the children eating as little processed food as possible make sure they get a wide variety of different coloured fruit and veg every day and something from each of the major food groups - ie unrefined carbs, protein and veggies. Whether she eats it is another matter but if you offer it she will get used to good food. I offered steamed broccoli every day and for eight months it remained for the most part untouched but now my DC love it and always chose it first.

I think you need some easy meal plans: Have you seen [www.fishfingersfortea.co.uk Fish Fingers For Tea Blog] It is good and Annabel Karmel has some really easy things that are quick and take no skill to prepare.

For breakfast porridge or weetabix is always good with plain yoguart and chopped fruit.

Popular snacks in our house include chopped fruit, oatcakes with Meridian Peanut butter it has no added salt or sugar, eggy bread, salad ie chopped peppers, cucumber and tomato.

Meals when we are short of time include: sardines on wholemeal toast with salad, omlettes just grate in carrot, courgette, onion, chopped peppers and tomoatoes and a little cheese but cheese is very salty. Roasted chicken drumsticks (you just shove them in the oven and serve with stead rice and vegetables). Chunky soup made with veggies, lentils and chicken. Dahl with tinned tomatoes, grated carrot and peppers on pasta etc. Steamed fish (4 mins in the microwave is also popular).

Try only offering water, I'm sure she will drink it just persevere she will get thirsty.

My DD wears lots of dresses because she hates waistbands and always takes off anything with a waistband so I put her in a bodysuit with tights underneath so she can't take them off and shortish dresses on top. If you are really wedded to dresses at least make sure they are soft stretchy cotton (H&M is good for these, I got some yesterday for £2.99).

Good luck.

Your child's diet is appallingly bad

Hmm tricky one. If my CM told me my dd couldn't wear dresses because her house was cold, I really wouldn't be happy to be honest. At the same time, I wouldn't be offended to be told that dresses aren't really suitable in a childcare environment. The food is more difficult - why did they decline you providing food if they cannot cook? That seems odd. Were you looking quite a bit more money for that service? Could that be renegotiated given that you are her godmother and say you have her best interests at heart?

Your child's diet is appallingly bad

Well we don't know that, do we? Because how on earth could the child minder know exactly what any of their children are fed outside of the childcare hours? Let alone the reasons for this.

I think the OP has been a little arrogant for thinking she has so much insight in to the mum's motivations and beliefs.

OP...... I don't mean to sound harsh but you say "I am not a good cook and DH and I don't eat vegetables or fruit."

do you not think that maybe you should make more of an effort in both departments, for the sake of your baby?

do you not want her to grow up eating fruit and veg and being able to cook / wanting to eat, healthy / home made meals?

I know it's daunting, but start with baby steps, maybe trying to eat 2 portions of fruit and veg a day each (there must be SOMETHING that you and your OH like), and start off cooking 1 meal a week from scratch?

I have a great Jamie Oliver book that is tailored towards beginners and contains simple recipes. I think it's called "ministry of food"?

Once you master a few basic dishes there will be no stopping you.

Seriously, please give it a try. Do you really want your DD growing up with your dietary habits?

This is a reverse people, it's by the CM

I think it has got to the point where people actually need to read the thread first!