Childminder criticised my parenting

[PrincessMummy13]

My 11 month old DD recently started at a childminders when I returned to work. Have known childminder for years, she is lovely and my DD is always happy to see her and happy when I pick her up.
However when I picked DD she asked to have a word as she had a couple of issues.
She has said I don't dress my girl appropriately for the setting and for her development. I like to dress my DD nicely in pretty, girly dresses and little cardigans, she looks so cute in them.
The childminder said that my DD is often too cold and the dresses get in the way when DD is rolling round on the floor etc.
She suggested I keep the frilly dresses for parties and put DD in leggings and tops for her house.
She then went on to say the food I give to DD is not really appropriate either. She said I give her too much sugary and salty foods and not enough lumps.
She said she only has my DD's interests at heart and she was really worried about saying something as she didn't want to attack me.
WWYD?

I do provide food for the majority but some parents prefer to provide their own.

I would be grateful she had my daughter's best interests at heart tbh.
Wouldn't see it as "criticism" at all.

At eleven months your daughter should not be having puréed good. At the very least leave some lumps in. It would be better though to give her normal food. Tomato sauce and paSta,spaghetti bolognese, cottage pie, fish pie. Piss easy to make. If she keeps eating the same things and not trying anything new she's going to be so fussy.

You need to cook for kids. It's part of the job. It's not hard and you can batch cook.

Oh for goodness sake, wind your necks in people. The OP now has a wealth of good advice that she can think about how best to present to the parents. Good job.

I think the name PrincessMummy says it all.
I'm with the childminder on both points.

I think you may need to let the clothing go (maybe just asking for tights / cardigans) and concentrate on the salt. Talk her through the amount the baby should have and what that means (a slice of bread is half a gram of salt iirc, gravy is too salty, ideally the veg should be cooked in unsalted water). Start with the essentials. Find out if your local children's centre runs cooking courses - many do.

Ah.

I'm not offended by a reverse thread, doesn't bother me. It's sad that OP felt that she couldn't post as herself though.

It's not lazy to let the children come in and out all the time! Ofsted like it if children have access to outside all the time - it's particularly handy if you tend to keep things like a water tray and sandpit outside as it means that the DC have easy access to it.

I'm not sure if I personally would have the door open all the time but I can understand why someone else would - DC might hurt themselves if they try to open/close it themselves.

I think, stop buying dresses & start buying cook books !

The Gina Ford & Annabel Karmel books are great, maybe go to your library & borrow a few...cookings really not hard.

Yabu & I think you're cm is great & coming from a good place.

Yes me too, SoVeryLucky. I know an excellent childminder who panicked the other day - she said to me "I feel like I've been lazy today! We've just played in the garden today." She obviously knows what some people are like regarding structured play. My answer was "so? Did the children enjoy themselves?" She said that they'd had a lovely time - played in water, looked at insects, played on the trampoline but she felt like she hadn't been good enough.

She's brilliant, great at her job and the children love her.

The garden thing is fine - do people honestly think that is lazy? My CM lives in her garden poor woman and while I know they also do painting and crafts, I'm happy knowing DD spends most of her time outside running around the playing on the trampoline.

As for the food, we all take packed lunches to the CM, it's not that unusual. However if you do cook for others, OP, could you maybe go with the tactic that it is difficult having a mix of cooked and packed lunches and it would be easier all round if your mindees were all eating the same thing?

Having the door open most of the time works very well for all aspects except heating.
My house is a cool house, the sun goes from side to side which means the garden is always sunny but inside is very cool and can be dark.
I see the outdoor area as an extension of the playroom, the children love it.

I like my dd in dresses and tights sometimes too but they always get holes in the tights or ripped dresses at the cm. I bought a big pile of cheap leggings and t shirts which are much more appropriate for the things she does there and she's much more comfortable. I also don't mind if they get holes in or dirty.

As for food, an 11 month old probably should be eating lumps and textures in order to be able to eat family food soon. I'm afraid I'm with your cm, and she is only doing it to help.

Some really nasty responses on here!

Op ywnbu at all to raise your concerns with the parents. It is difficult when the relationship is not purely a professional one, the lines are blurred and it can cause awkwardness but this little girl is being fed shite that will cause her harm! Maybe you could lend a cookery book to the parents or casually suggest a few recipes?

As for the clothes a few painting accidents might encourage them to send her in more appropriate clothes for playing

Truthfully? The food you give her does sound quite salty and sugary for under a year old and it doesn't sound as if she gets much protein. I think your childminder is being brave to talk to you about it and could easily just let you get on with it. I think she really cares about you dd-that's brilliant in a childminder.

If you eat lots of ready meals, could you try some good quality baby/young child ready meals like the little dish ones? Or even the jars meant for older children? Sorry if I've overstepped the mark and you just wanted a straight forward answer to your question.

I'm not bovvered it's a reverse. I did smell a rat with the OP's name! Took a lot of effort for me not to be rude!

I think you sound a caring CM. I like idea of your outdoor play. I like unstructured play. Our kids' lives are structured enough as it is. Princess's mummy sounds a bit lacking in common sense!

Maybe if you didn't leave the door open all day the baby wouldn't be cold. I wouldn't want my 11 month old sitting in a freezing draught all day

It's not freezing. Fresh air is brilliant for babies but it is too chilly for a sleeveless vest, sleeveless dress and thin bolero cardigan except on the hottest days. Other babies dressed in vests, rompers, leggings etc are fine. They also don't end up crying because their underskirts are over their heads, or their because fingers are stuck in lacy bits.

DD wears dresses all the time as her legs are too fat for trousers but she has a vest and tshirt underneath and often a jumper on top she can play outside easily.

I think you could say that your house is cool and the child needs more layers without making it about the dresses.

I don't mind this being a reverse thread, I hope it has made you more confident OP about approaching your friend on this.

It's definitely taking your role as Godmother seriously (as well as CM of course) to put the child's wellbeing first.

Plus I've learned tons about feeding little ones!

Thanks all, you haven't wasted your time, I'm sure lots of people like me who are not yet parents/new parents have found your suggestions useful.

I'm surprised you're taking it so personally I.e "she's attacking my parenting". She's just made some very sensible suggestions. Do you usually take suggestions as criticism?

mimishimmi.RTFT.

Well, the clothes are impractical. But I actually think its up to you how you dress your DD & its none of your childminder's business. Babies weren't wearing tshirts & leggings years ago were they, and they somehow survived into adulthood. If the clothes get dirty, tatty or torn then you'll have to deal with that hence its your concern, not the childminders. If you prefer to dress DD in 'girly'' fashion thats your prerogative. Anyway, why is DD cold? Doesnt the childminder heat her home? Does DD have an opportunity to play/move around a lot whilst at childminder's?

I'll reserve judgment about the food, I think. Looks like enough's been said. But I think the clothes comment is unreasonable..."not dressed appropriately for her development?!!" Supermum strikes again...

RTFT strikes again.