Childminder criticised my parenting

[PrincessMummy13]

My 11 month old DD recently started at a childminders when I returned to work. Have known childminder for years, she is lovely and my DD is always happy to see her and happy when I pick her up.
However when I picked DD she asked to have a word as she had a couple of issues.
She has said I don't dress my girl appropriately for the setting and for her development. I like to dress my DD nicely in pretty, girly dresses and little cardigans, she looks so cute in them.
The childminder said that my DD is often too cold and the dresses get in the way when DD is rolling round on the floor etc.
She suggested I keep the frilly dresses for parties and put DD in leggings and tops for her house.
She then went on to say the food I give to DD is not really appropriate either. She said I give her too much sugary and salty foods and not enough lumps.
She said she only has my DD's interests at heart and she was really worried about saying something as she didn't want to attack me.
WWYD?

Blimey.

Please go to your local children and family centre and see if they hold or know of any basic cooking courses for parents.

Oh dear, your childminder does have a point. I wouldn't be so worried about what your DD is wearing but your DDs diet needs looking at. Do you give your DD any fresh fruit and veg? You don't have to prepare complicated things but you do need to put more thought into her diet.

Do you feed her meat or fish?

Giving her friuit juice all the time is not a good idea. Of course she prefers sweet drink but there is nothing stopping her drinking water.

Fromage frais is a dessert? Your DD is having a lot of sugery and salty food.

Mini chedders have a high fat content with a high saturated fat content.

Everything is ok once in a while but you have to put time and effort in providing a reasonable healthy diet for your child on a daily basis.

OP, you've probably also got in a rut with your thinking about not being able to cook as well & it seems insurmountable yswim.

SIL has just given me a Annabel Karmel book called feeding your baby and toddler. it's full of easy recipes to follow and you batch cook them and freeze what you don't need. I'd seriously recommend this book as I was stumped at first.

DD 8 months eats mashed up food and she will happily eat toast , sandwiches, breadsticks, melon, veg sticks, cheese , pancakes and omelettes by herself. Sometimes if I'm strapped for time I buy pre chopped fruit and veg.

It does seem like a deliberately provoking OP

It's hard when you're trying your best and someone tells you it's not what is actually the best for a child. Very upsetting thing to hear, even if you know they're right.

Your CM does have a very valid point. Frilly dresses are adorable but not practical. I wouldn't wear one of my pretty dresses for a day romping round the park, I would wear jeans and a t-shirt. Same rules go for children really.

The diet bit is harder to deal with if neither you or your dh cook. There is a hell of a lot of sugar in what you've posted. Kids' yoghurts are a nightmare for it, and custard has a massive amount of sugar too. Mini Cheddars are sneaky and have much more salt than you would believe.

Can you contact your local SureStart centre and see if they have any introductory cooking courses you could sign up for? I'm sure my local centre advertises them and I've heard they're great for getting you into the basics. Once you have a few solid recipes under your belt, it's easy to get into the swing of cooking at home and ditching the ready meals.

Childminder is totally correct. You need to dress your daughter in clothes she can move in and give her a balanced diet. You also need to get her off the juice. The longer you leave it the harder it will be.

Please look at your diet too.

You have a small child that's needs you, having a poor diet will put your Heath at risk.

I think I weaned DD1 using that AK book, is it the one with the age related meal planners?
If it is real then I hope the OP actually takes some of the advice on board. It's hard with (I assume) your first child and you're bombarded with advice, it's easy to just think 'sod off I'll do it my way' without realising that you don't always know best.

I also think that this is a reverse AIBU.

Surely a wind up? Wasn't there a sad case years ago of a baby who died because its parents were feeding it instant mash and gravy all the time, really overloading his system with salt?

Everything about this has been devised to get lots of outraged posts. It. Is. Not. Real.

maybe the OP is a CM and wanted to see a post where everyone agrees with the CM for a change!

Definitely a wind up. It basically ticks every single box in the list of 'how to piss off Mumsnetters'...

Slightly harsh posts there regarding food. If the OP didn't know then there's no point in flaming her. The main thing is that going forward she does her best to ensure that her dd gets a well balanced diet.
I recommend the Annabel Karmel complete meal planner. It's super easy to use and the meals are actually really tasty. You can make a big batch for the whole family and then you're not relying on MIL.
You are really going to have to cook her meals and your own for that matter. It's a bit daunting at first (I didn't cook until I had my ds) but just follow the recipe and taste things as you go along. Remember a baby's palette is more sensitive than yours so she doesn't need loads of salt/sugar for food to taste good.
It's a lot cheaper than buying shop bought stuff too.
The CM is giving some good advice here, the lumps she's talking about are actually essential for your dd's speech development. Her eating lumpy and crunchy foods strengthen the muscles in the mouth area and help her to speak. She sounds lovely.
Keep the pretty dresses for when she's at home. Try not to take the criticism to heart. It's a good opportunity for you all to get healthier.

I don't think people are being harsh on OP. Certainly not a flaming. They're just pointing out that she needs to change her dd's diet.

.

Nice try

I would maybe think it was a wind up too but sadly I know too many people feeding their toddlers this with the view that it is normal.
My MIL never knew how to cook and now both my SILS have children and neither of them know how to cook and the children get fed takeaways, fast food and just crap basically I with one of my DNs who pointed at a pineapple and kiwis in my shopping trolley to ask what they were.

I try to gently tell them but I get 'we turned out fine'
I now teach DS how to cook with me at 4. It is a vital life skill. I hope the OP takes on board what some have said and the advice that has been given

Tbh I agree pretty much 100% with your CM.

Dresses meh, would not be my thing but your choice really. Could you give the CM maybe one set of. 'Play clothes' for garden or painting etc as a compromise?

The food sounds ghastly, the only thing I would feed my children off your list is the main meal.

IMHO mini cheddar, custard, baby juice, fromage frais, cakes are not suitable for 11months.

Could you learn to cook??

Welcome to mn

Listen to the childminder, she is 100% right in what she is saying. And you and your DP need to learn to cook, it really isn't difficult.

It sounds like you've found a fantastic childminder that really cares about your child. It would certainly have been easier for her not to bring this up so good on her for having the guts to do so. That does sound like a lot of sugar and salt and not much nutrition in your dd's diet. I think you need a baby and toddler cook book like annabel karmel. With the pureed veg and mash could you mash up the veg with the mash and no gravy? what about adding some of the meat if that's being served with it? If you're going to use ready meals can you go for ones from the baby food aisle that should have less salt in them?
The

Tbh your username says it all

Your username says it all.