to be angry that Abu Hamza's wife and family have a better quality of life than my family?

[AgentPink]

I know I am not being unreasonable but this is Mumsnet where the world often seems to exist in a parallel reality where right is wrong and wrong is right, however, I'm feeling pretty angry and depressed this morning and felt like having a vent and this is as good a place as any.

Me and my husband who have worked all our lives, paid loads of tax, limited our children to two (even though we would like more) because it is what we can afford from our wages, live in a shitty, small rented flat with limited security, where the kids are squashed together in one small bedroom, have a worse quality of life than Abu Hamza's wife who has never worked, had 7 children all paid for by benefits and lives in a lovely 5 bedroom, million pound council house in Shepherds Bush.

I just don't get it. How is it possible that the wife and children of someone who wanted to kill people simply because they had a different religion or were gay, hates the country and has never worked a day in her life can have a bigger, better home, security for her kids, free money etc when people who work and do everything "the right way" (i.e. live within their means, don't have more children than they can afford) have to live in total insecurity, will never be able to afford their own home, let alone a £1.25 million one provided free from the state. She will probably even have a more secure retirement than us. It's a complete joke and punch in the guts.

I'm sorry, I am just feeling really really upset by this and feel like telling my kids not to bother working hard as you will end up at the back of the queue as the least deserving.

I'm not sure about the age of the children but at least 2 have convictions and one was jailed abroad. They will just live on the state - what's the incentive to go and get a job/start a business?

Skint as I am, I'd rather not rely on state handouts like they do. And I'd rather cut off my own hands and gouge out my own eyes that shate a bed with that creature.

I do wonder what his ex wife (who got him into the country then encouraged him to 'study' islam) is now feeling?

FFS. If your dh went out and murdered somebody, should we send you to prison too, AgentPink.
Interesting first post, by the way.

yanbu often feel like telling my kids the same .

It's ok to vent and feel angry for a morning. But then pull yourself together and count your blessings, who cares what other people do? I wouldn't want her life, not for any money.

YABU for equating 'quality of life' with 'standard of living' though. She may have a higher standard of living than you do, but I bet her quality of life is pretty s*.

So have a whinge and a moan (I do it too sometimes), then get a grip and cuddle your lovely children and look at all the things that are going well in your life. We are still amongst the richest people in the world and at the end of the day, love is all we really have. sorry for being corny

The thing is the OP wants her nice husband and kids and the big fuck off house in London.

But you don't get that.

You either get the nice house and Hitler fucking or crap house and nice dh.

very few get everything

I think Mrs Abu Hamza has already had a bad enough life. She has had to marry (possibly against her wishes), one of the vilest men of all time. She will have had to live with his beliefs (women are a man's possession, no rape in marriage, domestic violence perfectly acceptable etc. etc.) for many years. I doubt she has had much of a choice in any of it.

I do understand where you are coming from though - especially when council houses are so hard to come by. It must be galling to think that someone like AH can get a nice 5 bed home when plenty of decent, honest folk don't stand a chance.

But I wouldn't blame his wife or his children. I hope their life is better without him - unless he is controlling them from the USA via another local "Cleric"!

Do they face harassment? If they do they should up sticks and move/change their names. No need to stay in London either they could live somewhere cheaper.

She's not living with now and didn't for longish periods in the past. So maybe her life isn't too bad.

I'm with flippinada you have my sympathy if your life is as bad as Hamza's wife.

What a strange thing to envy.

The majority of his children are adults, and have convictions for various violent offences (inc. terrorism and armed robbery).

We are not talking about innocent little toddlers playing under their mother's feet.

OP: Would you suggest that women and children be punished for the crimes of their fathers? Should the children - who are British citizens - be kicked out on the street because their dad is a dangerous fundamentalist? How would that help you?

Why do you believe they have a better quality of life than you? Are you a single mother with a husband in prison and seven children to bring up on your own, on benefits? If you believe people on benefits are living the life of Riley, clearly you have never attempted to feed, clothe and house a family on benefits.

The value of their house is immaterial. It's not theirs, and it's a perfectly average council house. It's not like they could sell it and take the money.

MrsBlack, your post is spot on, thanks!

Are they? Oh well, then he did a good job on them then, didn't he?

I would still hold them accountable only for their own actions, not his, nor would I hold a man's wife accountable for his actions (you see that when mindless mobs go to the house of a man who has committed a terrible crime and smash up his windows and threaten to kill his family) and I would still focus on a system if a system needs to be changed (and I am not arguing that the system needs no changes) rather than hating individuals who are not breaking the rules of that system.

If his children are indeed adults, maybe they will leave home & Mrs AH will be given a smaller property. Then another large family can take advantage of the 5 bed house.

too many thens. tsk.

I think YABU. Your life doesn't sound that bad to me, OP. When I start to feel resentful about how shit my life is and how unfair it is, I remind myself that 14 million people were sent to the gulag for no reason at all. That's shit. That's unfair. Having to do a job I don't particularly like and live in a house I'm not mad keen on doesn't really compare.
By all means compare up if you want to feel frustrated and angry. But don't forget to compare down sometimes too.

true. If she is claiming HB and is under occupied, or exceeds a cap or whatever the system currently is, then I am sure the rules will be applied.

YANBU at all.

I read a story about her not so long ago and she doesn't seem to have an easy time. She had to seek employment, got majorly bullied/harassed anywhere she went (ditto to the children) and of course their children will be under total scrutiny, if they put a foot wrong they will be treated more harshly because of who their father is.

So YANBU to be cheesed off at your seemingly lack of progress in life, however I would not swap her life for a private room in Buckingham Palace.

Yanbu, they should go back to where they are originally from.

And btw the majority of his children are convicted of something or the other. They are all tainted.

YANBU.

It's a crazy system.

Coffee
As far as I know his children were born in the UK. There is nowhere for them to go back to - they are living where they are originally from.

YANBU. She'll be deported soon. No idea why she is even in Britain.

Utter maddness yes.

YADNBU. And the prosectuter here has admitted at coming at Abu as a preacher rather than a real threat to human life.

The house isn't FREE. She will pay rent on it you know (and if the benefits she gets includes HB, then she'll have a whacking great supplement she has to make up). And the same rules apply to her as anyone else granted a council tenancy at that time - ie she was granted a lifetime tenancy, same as many many others. And she gets the same benefits as anyone else in her position.