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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be angry that Abu Hamza's wife and family have a better quality of life than my family?

159 replies

AgentPink · 21/05/2014 08:32

I know I am not being unreasonable but this is Mumsnet where the world often seems to exist in a parallel reality where right is wrong and wrong is right, however, I'm feeling pretty angry and depressed this morning and felt like having a vent and this is as good a place as any.

Me and my husband who have worked all our lives, paid loads of tax, limited our children to two (even though we would like more) because it is what we can afford from our wages, live in a shitty, small rented flat with limited security, where the kids are squashed together in one small bedroom, have a worse quality of life than Abu Hamza's wife who has never worked, had 7 children all paid for by benefits and lives in a lovely 5 bedroom, million pound council house in Shepherds Bush.

I just don't get it. How is it possible that the wife and children of someone who wanted to kill people simply because they had a different religion or were gay, hates the country and has never worked a day in her life can have a bigger, better home, security for her kids, free money etc when people who work and do everything "the right way" (i.e. live within their means, don't have more children than they can afford) have to live in total insecurity, will never be able to afford their own home, let alone a £1.25 million one provided free from the state. She will probably even have a more secure retirement than us. It's a complete joke and punch in the guts.

I'm sorry, I am just feeling really really upset by this and feel like telling my kids not to bother working hard as you will end up at the back of the queue as the least deserving.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 21/05/2014 08:35

Yeah but she had them with Abu Hamza!

Get a grip, do you want to fuck Abu Hamza, have no status as a woman, be vilified in the street, require protection?

You know you need to look to changing your own life when you start to feel jealous of Abus wifey Wink

Joules68 · 21/05/2014 08:38

Hey, maybe she's glad he's gone? Maybe it was an abusive relationship?

WandaDoff · 21/05/2014 08:40

I wouldn't be married to that monster for all the money in the world.

NigellasDealer · 21/05/2014 08:41

besides what should the council do. evict her and her children so they are on the street and have to be accommodated again?
also the value of her house is immaterial, all houses in London are worth loads.

SaucyJack · 21/05/2014 08:41

You know what, I'm gonna say YANBU.

Him and his clearly don't hate the British too much to skank off of our benefit system.

Just fuck off back to Egypt.

Laymizzrarb · 21/05/2014 08:44

By the same token, there are mothers in Syria, Africa, who are good kind and selfless people. They have never known what it is like to own an article of clothing from new. They do not know where the next meal or even sip of water may come from. Their children may die from a simple infection. Their friends may die in childbirth as they do not have access to medical care. A roof over their heads is a piece of plastic sheeting. There is always someone better off, count your blessings at what you have, not what someone else has and whether they are worthy of it.

Joules68 · 21/05/2014 08:44

Were his kids born here?

crispyporkbelly · 21/05/2014 08:45

Grin @ do you want to fuck Abu Hamza

PatrickStarisabadbellend · 21/05/2014 08:46

Yanbu.

GoblinLittleOwl · 21/05/2014 08:47

Absolutely agree with you; we seem to have developed a system in this country, albeit for the best possible reasons, which protects/rewards the unscrupulous and penalises the deserving.

pianodoodle · 21/05/2014 08:50

YABU. I don't wish children to suffer regardless of whose children they are.

springbabydays · 21/05/2014 08:50

Yanbu

All folk like us can do is hope to win the lottery Sad

softlysoftly · 21/05/2014 08:52

Basically what Laurie and Laymizz said.

She was married to a monster and there are women probably far more deserving than you living a truly shit life. Look to yourself not others because that way madness lies.

I refer you to the Deiderata:

"If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter, for always
there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."

softlysoftly · 21/05/2014 08:52

*Desiderata

nagynolonger · 21/05/2014 08:53

No idea how old her DC are. Surely she will have to prove she is looking for work when her youngest is at school. I thought every single parent had to now.

YANBU

meditrina · 21/05/2014 08:56

Benefits are not there only for likeable people and their families.

And remember that London house prices are ridiculous: a "£1m house" in many parts of London is a 4 bed terrace. Which isn't excessive for 8 people.

nagynolonger · 21/05/2014 08:59

Vanity and bitterness have bugger all to do with it IMO. Lots of people just don't want to be taken for mugs. I don't mind sharing with others eg paying for others to have free prescriptions....but I would like to have free meds if I'm ill.

wannaBe · 21/05/2014 09:01

just because they're his wife/children does not make them guilty by association though.

Imagine being the child of someone like him and never being able to escape your identity and the association that it brings.

Give me a one bedroom flat any day over having been conceived of the seed of Abu Hamza.

WildThong · 21/05/2014 09:02

I don't think you are being unreasonable either. It just isn't fair. I'm sure I read that they have grown up children in jail as well so it doesn't look like they are being brought up as fine upstanding British citizens.

Joysmum · 21/05/2014 09:04

To me the crux is that the system should ensure that hardworking people are better off through being in work than those on benefits.

That's it.

ShineSmile · 21/05/2014 09:05

YABVVU.

It is his wife and kids, not HIM who is benefiting from the state. Goodness me, at lease you didn't have abu hamza as a husband and your kids didn't have him as a dad. Imagine how much harassment they face from the public. Grow up OP, and stop trying to blame others for your own misery.

balenciaga · 21/05/2014 09:08

Yanbu

But don't be jealous of her, imagine being married to him Confused

sarahquilt · 21/05/2014 09:11

YANBU - the system is ridiculous.

HecatePropylaea · 21/05/2014 09:11

I am sure that the same rules apply to her as to everyone - you have to start looking for work when your child hits a certain age, etc. And if she is doing anything that breaks the law, I bet my last rolo that she will be subject to more scrutiny (incl media!) than joe bloggs down the road.

I am uncomfortable blaming (or including in the blame, or in any way holding accountable) someone's wife and children for their actions and choices. Certainly their children anyway! - Even if you believe that his wife should be punished for his actions, shared his beliefs, supported his actions, etc, surely his children are innocent and should not be included in any hatred, jealousy or scorn or whatever emotion it is you are describing?

There are people up and down the country, some not born here but many who were, who have also 'never worked a day in their lives, live off benefits, had more children than they can afford, etc etc'

Now, whether that is acceptable or not, is a bunfight for another day, and I'm not opening that bloody can of worms! Grin but if she is not doing anything unlawful, then there really is nothing to castigate her personally for. By all means, rage against a system if it allows something that you feel is unacceptable. Campaign to change it even, if you feel very strongly, but how far can you blame someone as an individual for using a system that is available? Surely it is the system you should blame if you think it is wrong, rather than the person?

flippinada · 21/05/2014 09:11

Is your life really so bad that you're jealous of Abu Hamza's wife and children?

If so, you have my sympathy.

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