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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take my DD out of end of the year production in Y6???

363 replies

katmat3 · 20/05/2014 16:28

Please tell me because lately I am not thinking with clear head.
My DD is not chosen again for any part ( except singing and dancing with few other kids) . It's not the first time and maybe my pregnancy hormones are working but it's something that is happening all the time. I am aware as other few parents are that headmistress has certain kids that she always puts up as a frontrunners for everything ..But for everything all the time??? Really???I am talking about last 3 years.
Same kids,same main parts.I am gutted for my DD. I am not bragging but she is really good ,confident,very committed to her work or any given task but she just has bad luck.
This production is for Y6 mainly and she actually doesn't have any part.I signed the letter for her to give tomorrow that she will not participate (only one probably) but I can't let her always be in the corner while the SAME kids are always doing the parts...
AIBU???Please.
If I missed anything I will add....

OP posts:
teacherwith2kids · 20/05/2014 19:18

ik8 / Jodie,

My current school has 96 children in Year 6.

All but 5 auditioned for the y6 play.

It would be VERY hard to find a play with 91 acting parts that remained comprehensible to the audience and of reasonable length. All those who auditioned will appear on stage - some as speaking parts, some non-speaking actors, as singers or as dancers. But 91 speaking parts??

JodieGarberJacob · 20/05/2014 19:33

I didn't say every child gets a part! I was responding to someone who said about teachers not writing the play themselves. Sometimes a bit of a rewrite is necessary to accommodate more children. Out of 60 children if 30 children auditioned we would stretch the speaking parts to include everyone. If more auditioned then we would keep the original speaking parts but maybe have certain sections of the chorus doing one song and other sections doing another just to be a bit more 'special'. We are an infant school so tend not to get a lot of angry parents although there is probably one a year Grin

jamdonut · 20/05/2014 19:37

Has your daughter been recognised for the other things she has achieved? Does she come home with certificates that have been awarded in assembly? Is it possible she is always one of the ones who gets rewarded? If so,then it is unfortunate that they chose not to give her a main part,but someone ,somewhere may have said " she always gets things". You may not be aware of how many times she's been "the chosen one".

Also, in our school,we tend to ask that children are committed to attending rehearsals etc,and a lot of kids get put off by having to give up their lunchtimes and after school to practise. It is usually the same children who are prepared to give it their all,and thus it seems like the same children "chosen" . Sometimes they want capable people in the chorus to keep the production together and running smoothly.

I know it is maddening,from a parents perspective, but I think it would be sadder for her to be left out altogether.

jamdonut · 20/05/2014 19:37

Has your daughter been recognised for the other things she has achieved? Does she come home with certificates that have been awarded in assembly? Is it possible she is always one of the ones who gets rewarded? If so,then it is unfortunate that they chose not to give her a main part,but someone ,somewhere may have said " she always gets things". You may not be aware of how many times she's been "the chosen one".

Also, in our school,we tend to ask that children are committed to attending rehearsals etc,and a lot of kids get put off by having to give up their lunchtimes and after school to practise. It is usually the same children who are prepared to give it their all,and thus it seems like the same children "chosen" . Sometimes they want capable people in the chorus to keep the production together and running smoothly.

I know it is maddening,from a parents perspective, but I think it would be sadder for her to be left out altogether.

ICanSeeTheSun · 20/05/2014 19:44

The child does have 2 parts, signing and dancing.

I'm not expert but I would think signing take a lots of work. Remembering all the songs and dancing is a part that also needs a lot of work learning the routines and timing.

Tinpin · 20/05/2014 19:54

You say that your daughter says that the school only wants her when they need her to enter competitions. What a strange attitude. All children I have taught have been thrilled , excited and felt very special to be chosen to enter such competitions. Maybe the teachers have realised she dislikes being selected for school events and have decided not to inflict an important part on her.

Original poster
katmat3 · 20/05/2014 20:17

Hi everyone .Just wanted to say thank you.One more time I would ike to say-she doesn't need main part or any big part but one line.
5 of them out of 30 kids are not having any part and some of them two combined parts.
Thank you all .She WILL participate but I am not happy.I will get over it,just as I said It's not fair.

OP posts:
MoonSong · 20/05/2014 20:21

Same old, same old.....teachers and their little pets .....

Agree with Fatman.

I was horrified to see a few doing the main "singing parts" (ad nauseum) and the rest of the class just relegated to sit down through it all, occasionally moving to show they were still alive.

Sometimes ~I wonder about teachers....

Taz1212 · 20/05/2014 20:27

DS' show is this week. There are 160 children in the show. Grin DS was originally a bit down because he didn't get a speaking part but there were only a handful of successful children and he had so much fun during tech week that his disappointment soon vanished.

The first performance was today and he came home on a high.

He is a lobster in the show. Grin

mandi73 · 20/05/2014 20:35

We had a yearly show that 6th class put on every year. My year it the The Pied Piper and I auditioned and got one of the leads.......for 2 days, until my teacher decided that it would be better if another 'pet' sorry student got it to help her confidence, so I was demoted to a rat.
Didn't help my confidence and 33yrs later I still remember it, and believe me this girl had NO problems with her confidence!!!!!
I'd have a word with the HM and let them know you're not happy.

EvilTwins · 20/05/2014 20:44

It makes me really Angry the number of posters who refer to teachers having favourites and "pets" as if it's a fact. It's so subjective! Teachers are professionals. We do not have pets. Funny how no one on MN would admit to their child being a pet. It only comes up when people are moaning about some terrible injustice.

EvilTwins · 20/05/2014 20:44

It makes me really Angry the number of posters who refer to teachers having favourites and "pets" as if it's a fact. It's so subjective! Teachers are professionals. We do not have pets. Funny how no one on MN would admit to their child being a pet. It only comes up when people are moaning about some terrible injustice.

Original poster
katmat3 · 20/05/2014 20:58

I didn't say teachers pet-I said HT pet. It's which is known to many of us parents in Y6. It's NOT my business but it becomes when it directly affect my DD.
There is a big difference when it comes to competition.You can't send child who is not in maths - algebra in Y6 to go and compete .It would knock their confidence.This is Y6 production for the parents,it should be about every single child in that class.As I said,she doesn't need anything but one line.

OP posts:
CPtart · 20/05/2014 21:07

Be careful not to give her a complex about the whole thing with your attitude.
(I say this as a year 6 parent awaiting DS role in his end of year production.)

queribus · 20/05/2014 21:11

Why does she need one line? Why is this so vital to you? She is singing and has a defined role.

I really think - in the nicest possible way- you need to let this go.

Evil - you speak sense!

Original poster
katmat3 · 20/05/2014 21:12

I didn't show her or told her what I think.As I said ,she was sad but she was much better before she went to sleep.
It's me who sees full unfairness of the situation.She has to learn the hard way,it's just pity that HT or teachers wouldn't give all Y6 children equal parts or at least one line for some kids.

OP posts:
teacherwith2kids · 20/05/2014 21:14

DD and I have already discussed the fact that, since she has had lots of chances to shine this year (professional panto, house captain, all L6 tests etc) it is very likely that her teachers will choose other people to play the biggest parts in the Y6 play. She thinks this is entirely fair, in fact she would think it UNFAIR if she were to get a big end Y6 play part.

teacherwith2kids · 20/05/2014 21:15

(She has, in fact, listed a group of children that she hopes will get big parts 'because they don't really get chosen for anything much, but they work really hard and it would make them really happy to be chosen')

Original poster
katmat3 · 20/05/2014 21:19

It will look as if I drop feed but hey,every parent wants the best for their child.
It is important to me---if it affect my child it affects me.
As I said,it's a fairy story that teachers or HT don't have their favourite kids ---of course NOT all teachers are strictly professionals same like where I am working.
This is something that many parents noticed -parents of the children who are never chosen for shows and are left behind. Today was really for me last straw-that she can't get even ONE LINE -queribus yes one line-for the end of the y6 production.It's VERY unprofessional from the HT and I hope my DD wont pay any attention but i know she wont forget.

OP posts:
queribus · 20/05/2014 21:22

Has your dd enjoyed her school? Has she made some good friends (who maybe lifelong friends)? is she confident and happy? Is she looking forward to secondary school?

All this stuff matters. having one line in a school play really doesn't.

I get that this really matters to you but I think you should try to put it into perspective. And, dare I say, life isn't fair ...

Honestly, its not worth the angst.

Original poster
katmat3 · 20/05/2014 21:23

It's about SAME kids being chosen over the last 3 years---wat is that group of kids more important than my child to me.If my DD was doing all the shows all the time I would see that as an unfair thing too.They are all important,smart and deserving.

OP posts:
Original poster
katmat3 · 20/05/2014 21:25

I will let it go,she is ok and happy -went to bed happy but it's me not happy.Maybe my pregnancy really made me very emotional but I just have to get over with it,isn't it????

OP posts:
queribus · 20/05/2014 21:27

[shrug]

I guess you've made your mind up that this is the most important thing in your dd's primary school 'career', to be fretted over and allowed to fester.

Your dd seems to have done all the maths etc. competitions but that seems to be different.

Good luck

ICanSeeTheSun · 20/05/2014 21:29

Op why are you so dismissive over the singing and dancing parts.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 20/05/2014 21:32

Your daughter seems to have done fabulously with L6 papers, competitive maths, spellings etc. Presumably she shines every day in class.

It's just a play. She'll have great fun in the chorus without all the stress of having to remember the lines.

Even if the process is the most unfair thing in the history of the world (which I'm not convinced) does it really matter?

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