to take my DD out of end of the year production in Y6???

[katmat3]

Please tell me because lately I am not thinking with clear head.
My DD is not chosen again for any part ( except singing and dancing with few other kids) . It's not the first time and maybe my pregnancy hormones are working but it's something that is happening all the time. I am aware as other few parents are that headmistress has certain kids that she always puts up as a frontrunners for everything ..But for everything all the time??? Really???I am talking about last 3 years.
Same kids,same main parts.I am gutted for my DD. I am not bragging but she is really good ,confident,very committed to her work or any given task but she just has bad luck.
This production is for Y6 mainly and she actually doesn't have any part.I signed the letter for her to give tomorrow that she will not participate (only one probably) but I can't let her always be in the corner while the SAME kids are always doing the parts...
AIBU???Please.
If I missed anything I will add....

Agree with molding & eviltwins

Anyway - I have been thinking. There was one school production ds2 took part in in year 2. People ( including parents) still come up to me now & mention it - and his year 2 teacher goes on about it when she sees me. His ex head mentions it. He's in secondary now.?Guess what he did? He pushed a plastic shopping trolley across a stage. That was it - that was his part. It's something that has stuck in people's minds. We (as in family) first noticed he could act when he was a donkey in year 1.

Cast a child in the correct part. Sometimes that may mean a large part 2 or 3 years on a row because they suit those roles. . Sometimes it may mean a smaller part - your child can still enjoy doing that & you can still enjoy watching them.

Sorry probably one of the most pretentious things I've ever read: "We (as a family) first noticed he could act when he was a donkey in year 1." Absolutely LMAO! No wonder you're arguing the other side! Hahaha.

FFS Annie - it's not all about you. The rudeness accusation was because of what you said about no one wanting to watch other peoples' kids, I did not say that YOU said kids who couldn't sing should be up there.

IMO, the only parents who bang on about favouritism are those who reckon their kids should BE favourites. You, as a parent, have a duty to teach your DC that it's not the way the world works.

My DTDs are in yr 3. DTD1 was complaining this morning that she "should" be in the top group for swimming. I could have called and complained. Moaned that it's favouritism because I KNOW (because my 7 yr old has told me so it MUST BE TRUE) that she is better than some of the kids in the top group. However, I told her that she needed to try harder when we go swimming as a family and improve her stamina and technique and then maybe she would be moved up.

My dd was a little disappointed when she was given only two lines again this year in the school play. I think its a great time for her to learn that you have to put in 100% even if its just for two lines. I went to watch her a few nights ago and she gave them her all. I was really proud of her. She is the type of child who is in the spotlight enough and does get chosen for stuff, learning to be at the back but doing a great job is a very important life lesson especially if your mum thinks you should always be at the front

Annie You seem very reluctant to believe that some children are talented actors and that this can show from an early age. Even when I was at school I can remember the children who shone on stage and always got lead roles (with no resentment from other children).

Why should a child who is excellent at acting be shoved into the back row of the chorus because some parent is convinced their child 'deserves' a turn in the spotlight. Different kids are good at different things and acting is just as valid a talent as sports, or debating or any of the other things for which children get justifiably recognised.

I meant to add that there are tons of ways in which children can get involved in a school production and it is up to parents to make them realise that whether they're singing in the choir, helping with scenery, designing the posters, prompting from the side of the stage, or whatever, all of these jobs are essential to the success of the production. It's not all about having a starring role.

Bizarre. When did I ever say it was all about me? Why would you come out with something so strange anyway about putting a kid up that can't sing or lacks confidence? Who would want that? No one. Who has said that? No one. Why come out with it then? It was just such a strange thing to say I challenged it because I don't want to be accused of saying something so stupid as that's not what I'm saying at all. So please take your "FFS" and stick it!

Bullshit too about the only people complaining about favouritism are the ones that reckon their kids should be the favourites. Utter crap. Then the patronising line about what parents have a DUTY to do no less. Really? As if we couldn't work that out and how the "world works". Patronising or what.

You can't speak for every situation. Do you truly believe there is no favouritism shown by teachers? You are completely blinkered and disingenuous to believe it. I think you know how stupid you sounded saying that.

It's easy to see who the best is with something like swimming or football or spelling or maths (the fastest, the one that scores the most goals, the ones that get the highest scores) so no if your DD is not swimming faster than everyone else you'd be a complete nutcase to phone up and complain. With drama it's not so easy. It's a year 6 production. It's not about the "best" in drama shining as it's your kid. It's a send off for all of that year. The OP only wanted more inclusion. FFS.

I agree with a lot of what you say Summerbreezing but the OP wasn't happy about 3 years in a row the same ones are in the lead. That's rubbish, sorry. Not 3 years. I think people are just reading what they want to hear. It's typical mumsnet, 95% miss the point entirely.

Annie, you're talking crap. It IS obvious that some kids are better at drama than others. In exactly the same way that some kids run faster.

Re the swimming, my DD says she's better than some of the kids in the top group. That would be enough for plenty of parents to complain, in the same way that parents complain when they are reliably informed by their 10 year old that ONLY 5 kids have no lines in the play.

I really can't take anything you say seriously Evil when you come out with corkers such as teachers never show favouritism or indeed have favourites as they are professionals You've come out with a fair amount of crap yourself so pot and kettle.

Sorry, in primary acting talent isn't that obvious, no matter what some parents think. Secondary, yes, it starts to come through. Singing it's more obvious.

I haven't read all the thread but do remember my last year of primary school not been allowed to take part in play because I was in the choir.I was bored had nothing to do while everyone was practising and even looking back it was not the right thing to do

My child was the star for me if he had a non verbal part with a teatowel on his head. Op, your daughter sounds lovely, she will remember having fun in her last year if you are not so stressed about a school play.

Annie - can I suggest you go and watch Matilda or Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, and THEN tell me that it's not possible for primary aged children to show talent at drama?

We're not talking professionals Evil. We're talking about a year 6 send-off . Funny how you can't answer my other points, or studiously ignore them.

And to be honest I don't like those kind of shows anyway, to me that's all over-acting, sorry.

I just can't get overexcited about DC not getting speaking parts in a school play. I'm off to watch DS being a lobster tonight. The first performance was Tues afternoon and the second one was last night. He's come out of both absolutely bouncing on a complete high. It was the same all last week during tech week.

He was a little disappointed at not getting a line but that lasted all of 10 minutes. He's had a great time being a lobster. It's so much more than your individual part- it's being part of the whole show that's so much fun.

Are you serious? Oh dear. Those kids are incredible.

As for not addressing your points, I'm not sure what you mean. You say teachers have favourites, I say they don't. Not really going to find any middle ground there.

Yes, I'm serious. Just not my cup of tea. What's so hard to understand about that? Are you so self-absorbed that you can only understand people that agree with you on what's good and what isn't? I'm sure they're great if you like that type of thing. I don't particularly. Lots do, lots don't.

So you know every teacher and know for a fact none have ever shown any favouritism as they are all professionals... right .

Annielouise - you have been rude about child performers all the way through this thread. There are some children who at the age of 10/11 are very good & I personally think they should be given the opportunity to shine at school as well. Why shouldn't they?

I agree! I don't know why people are assuming children who are good performers are all white teeth, over smily and cringy! I can tell you know the children you are describing will NOT be cast on a West End stage unless the role required particularly asks for white teeth, over smiley and cringy!

My DD is a good performer but certainly nothing like Bonnie Langford - nor would I wish her to be.

Our school does not cast the same child for Lead every year, although I think they are quite justified in casting the children who are most suited for the lead roles - whether they attend drama group or not!

My DD want not even want the Principal part every year. She gets too much grief from other parents - for even just being on the stage!

There is so much grief being a naturally talented singer/dancer. Somewhere up thread someone mentioned about the cost of sending them to drama groups. I think you may mistaking drama groups for drama schools.

I find it strange that the captains of the schools sport teams are treated like heroes. Whilst anyone who can perform a little better than most is treated as an outcast! There is certainly a great deal of jealousy around children who have a talent for performing arts.

Annie you are being absolutely ridiculous.

Primary school children can't show talent in drama?? That's crazy. Do you think talent suddenly materialises aged 12? Someone with a gift for performing will stand out from other 5 year olds aged 5 just as they will stand out from other 15 year olds aged 15. I agree with you that some children will not come into their own and show talent until later but on but other children are clearly gifted from a young age.

My gifted and talented drama group currently consists of 3 Y3s (youngest I can go without ferrying children from another site but I know the current Y2s are a very strong year group from overseeing their production at Christmas), 2 Y4s, 6 Y5s, 8 Y6s, 4 Y7s and 3 Y8s. This group of 7-13 olds are fantastic and they get so much out of working with each other for one production a year than just with their own year groups. It's an exclusive group because they deserve that chance to develop their skills and experience just as much as an A team in Sports does. I won't be talking to the cast of my current Y7 production about the nuances of effective acting in the same way because, with that one, I'm just aiming to get everyone up on the stage, knowing their lines, facing front and having fun. Two completely different shows for different purposes. The parents will, I hope, enjoy both of them but my G&T show will be good from a non parents point of view as well.

The most upsetting comment I've ever had from a parent re casting was 'we [as in parents of the school] don't come to these shows to see your shows your know, we come to see our children. X is only in 3 scenes, I might as well just come for 15 minutes then walk out. I you can't included them properly we're not interested.' I made the right noises but, having put 4 weeks of my life into that production, I left the room and cried. It is hurtful when parents can't be supportive of their child, the other children and the school. The vast majority of teachers are doing their absolute best to give everyone a role to suit them. There may be some who show favouritism, I don't know every teacher in the country. But I've certainly never come across it.

You drama people are soooo dramatic, wow!

couldn't be bothered reading in detail the last 2 comments, so boring. Do you really think you'll convince anyone with such sweeping statements. Evil said no teacher is ever unprofessional. You say you've never seen it. I have, sorry. Not all are like that but some are. Bizarre bit of propaganda going on that you think otherwise.

Anyway the point is most kids in primary drama productions aren't so super talented in my experience that they need the lead 3 times in a row. Let some others come forward. That's all I've ever said. Can't be bothered arguing anymore with such narrow thinking, rude people like Evil so hiding the thread.

I have a nephew who is eight. He can imitate any accent, take off any singer, and is already adept at noticing the little gestures and characteristics that bring a character 'to life'. His general creative talent and ability to act and sing has been noticeable for a long time and I am sure most schools can think of a pupil like that amongst their intake. Acting talent can sometimes develop later on in life, but it is very often extremely obvious in a young child, it really is.

I did not say that no teacher is ever unprofessional, but the whole "favouritism" thing is crap and exists mostly in the heads of parents. I don't think teachers have the time or energy to decide which are their particular pets. Teachers generally don't have personal feelings about children - that would be weird, as well as unprofessional.

But if the favouritism exists mainly in the heads of parents, that must logically mean that sometimes it is real, surely, EvilTwins? Doesn't it make more sense to say that the majority of teachers won't have favourites, but some might - it makes more sense to me than either saying all teachers have favourites or none do.