to take my DD out of end of the year production in Y6???

[katmat3]

Please tell me because lately I am not thinking with clear head.
My DD is not chosen again for any part ( except singing and dancing with few other kids) . It's not the first time and maybe my pregnancy hormones are working but it's something that is happening all the time. I am aware as other few parents are that headmistress has certain kids that she always puts up as a frontrunners for everything ..But for everything all the time??? Really???I am talking about last 3 years.
Same kids,same main parts.I am gutted for my DD. I am not bragging but she is really good ,confident,very committed to her work or any given task but she just has bad luck.
This production is for Y6 mainly and she actually doesn't have any part.I signed the letter for her to give tomorrow that she will not participate (only one probably) but I can't let her always be in the corner while the SAME kids are always doing the parts...
AIBU???Please.
If I missed anything I will add....

PS. I know people have bigger problems like myself but this really hit my heart so much...

The year 6 is THE big production of primary school so yes YWBU to not let her take part. My DS never got anything exciting to do, not even ting on a triangle so he was always singing or whatever.

Will she be happy being the only one not partaking?

Put it down to hormones - hurting your heart is a bit strong - and let her take part no matter how little you feel she contributes.

Does your dd want to take part though?

Does your DD want to do it? If she does then I would let her. Don't let your hurt at the HM actions stop your DD doing something she would like to do.

It's annoying but pulling her out altogether might deprive her of a lot of fun.

Does she care? Or is it just you worrying on her behalf?

it often happens that the big parts go to the same kids, probably because Teachers know they will cope and do a good job. it can be disheartening for those not picked, but she may enjoy being part of the whole event especially in her last year - in fact she is quite likely to regret pulling out in a fit of (your?) pique, to be honest.

Id speak to the school rather than just pulling her out

My DC's school always do plays which give ALL yr 6 decent parts (though of course, they cant all be the same size) and the school I work in does the same: everyone gets to say something. Most plays for schools are made to accommodate this, so there is little excuse to exclude any pupil for any school.
I'm afraid I would go and see the head personally and ask directly (and not too nicely) why some children are left out in favour of apparent favourites. Tell her you and other mothers think it is not fair (whether or not you've spoken to others) and ask her to justify why child x has had parts for 3 consecutive years while others have had none. if there are younger children children with parts, ask why so if Y6's don't. Persist if she tries to fob you off.
You get some crap heads, don't you?

Your job as a parent is to teach her to rise above stuff like this, not suggest she doesn't take part
It'll happen throughout life, she won't be able to opt out of work for example because she never gets to chair the meetings
Yes it's annoying but she has to learn to deal with it

Are the parts given to the children who are particularly good at acting, singing and dancing? Or just to kids the headmistress likes?

You are right I know and my head is saying the same thing but I feel such an injustice that I know I am not thinking probably clearly.
I am upset because she is upset .She is clever girl and she is upset that same kids are chosen for the same thing over and over again.
Her and another 5 kids are just singing on the side. The thing is if I let her I know I wont be able to just let it go.I want to say something to HM but something that is PC .I don't know what is right thing to say?

But if she's clever, maybe she does better in class than other children. And the sporty pupils do better at sports day. etc etc Most children have their area where they shine a bit, and take a back seat at other things.

Vintagejazz---my DD is really good at it.Not just because she is mine but she is really great .I have other DD for example and she is not for the stage.It's just what it is.
When I say same kids that HM likes ---I am not making it bigger than what it is,believe me.That's what I am upset.I don't know why?

That sounds awful, then. I'm not familiar with the British school system, but will she be moving to another school after Year 6. Because if so, I wouldn't worry about it. But if she will have the same headmistress then it might be no harm to have a word.

Yes,she is one of three kids in the class who took level 6 SATS, she represented school in spelling tests,maths competition and she did really really well.But,is that a reason for her not to get even one sentence and other child most of the production? Please tell me am I wrong???

I wish I am not so sensitive... It actually bothers me and you are right,I shouldn't take away everything from her but how else to comfort her.She actually said that they need her only go and represent school when it's about competitions and that's it...O grrrr
But one thing you are all right in your advices....I know that..

How to comfort her?? Just tell her these things happen, it's no big deal and she will get her time one day.

Don't be upset in front of her and make a big song and dance about it yourself as you will fuel her fire. These things do happen and in secondary school she will be an even smaller fish in a bigger pond so she really does need to get used to disappointment.

Littledidsheknow...How do I say without naming the children involved?It's not their fault...O another thing to worry me...

Same old, same old.....teachers and their little pets .....I see it at my sons school year after year and am not expecting him to get a decent role because he's not one of the chosen ones.
I'm already fuming because he was picked for the 'B' rugby team for a tournament, they went on to win the tournament but now that they've progressed to county level all the 'B' team members have been replaced with A teasers......they didn't win and my son can't see the point in trying at school any more.
OP I think you shoud ask your daughter what she wants and go with that....they'll be out of there soon

If this is so important to you and your DD, have you thought about enrolling her in a local drama club?

Most schools do their best and they can't give everyone an active part.

Sometimes the active parts go to the kids who need a confidence boost for whatever reason.

BSCR-I didn't show any emotions in front of her except I said I am sorry that she is upset.
My DH went with DD's out for tennis so now I can breath with anger..Not good for my pregnancy...:0

But the kids who always get the lead parts in the plays, concerts etc. are they any good at anything else? Your DD sounds like she excels in other things too so maybe the HM is trying to make sure those kids get to have a main role in something if they are not as good as your DD at spelling, maths or whatever.

I would let her enjoy the buzz of the show with her friends.

It's annoying but your daughter has represented the school at other things so she's not off the radar totally at school.

WorraLiberty-yes but the same girl needs boost in confidence for the past 3 years? And other few? Well,If they are the only one than they should go to local drama club .
It's not about my DD getting main part but it's about equality and fair character distribution.
It's just not ok that HM pets get always the part. I am just so angry now.Thank you for advice but I am now even more upset.

5Foot5 I guess I will let her but I will have to say something to HM.Not sure what is correct thing to say but I can't just let it go.Just can't.I really don't like that I get so sensitive...