To hate and loathe "buzz words" and want the users to receive penal punishment

[frizzcat]

You know the people I'm talking about, always talking about "blue sky thinking".
Or instead of saying they need to contact someone they say "oh I need to reach out to Jeffrey"

Then you have the people who just take it too far and start using bastard buzz words outside of work. A friend mine told me "you know Frizz you really should reach out to A N Other, they'd really love to hear from you".

IT'S TALK FFS - not "reach out" they're not falling off Everest.

So what's the most annoying bastard buzz words you've heard

Where I work, they are all lovely people and it's nice to work there.

BUT, we are constantly "going forward", and we request items to be returned at "close of play". People use "myself", etc

I grit my teeth at times, but if asked to write or forward an email, my own bits are properly written (and I think one or two have noticed....).

Everything seems to need "a conversation"
And childcare is always about the "setting" - "he wouldn't get away with that in my setting"

In fashion magazines:

rocking (she was rocking some Manolos)

On Property programmes:

property (it's a bleeding house)

From children:

awesome
ginormous (it's enormous or gigantic; you can't have both)
epic

When fashion models and suchlike I'm looking at you, Kate Moss front collections of clothes for eg Topshop, they are usually said to 'curate' them. As though it's the sodding V & A or something, rather than a few blouses and a trouser or two .

Siobhan in 'Twenty-12’ and the recent BBC comedy thing was the master of this kind of fuckwittery. I fondly remember her urging her colleagues to 'nail this puppy to the floor'.

The terrible thing is, you can imagine some management guru actually saying that.

"Synergy" needs to die a quick death.

Let's see other annoying ones that are over used that I too sometimes use for emails

• Empower
• Utilize
• Innovative
• Integrate
• Consolidate
• Leverage
• Low Hanging Fruit
• Proactive

Cascade ..grrrr

Yes ,yes, to trouser 'Angela is wearing a lovely black trouser'

Why do fashion writers use the term 'well-cut'? How the feck can you tell if something's well-cut? Do they ever advise you to go and get something badly cut?

Also, when pretentious food writers say 100g of 'good quality' such and such, especially when it's a basic ingredient like butter, how is it going to make any difference if you use cheap? Also I hate it when they specify something must be organic, IT WILL MAKE NO FECKING DIFFERENCE! And I will make the choice for myself thanks!

Ooh, yes Mrs. I've always wondered what 'well cut trousers' were. Are they the same on my curvy arse and hips as they would be on some snake hipped model? I don't think so, somehow.

And I also agree with you on the ingredients. if you are making cakes, surely butter is butter, right, whether Asda value, or naice Waitrose posho stuff?

Jamie O's Ministry of Food book is a good one for that, a lot of the ingredients are 'such and such, preferably free range or organic'. If you are trying to encourage people who previously lived on kebabs how to cook, that is quite a good way to put them off before they even give it a go.

CorusKate does Angela only get a Brazilian on the half that's showing?

I'm sorry whilst all your comments are relevant and value add, I think its best if we take this off-line .......

I work in local government/SN
It is awash with jargon buzz words and abbreviations as well as the medical and specialist language.

Its really hard to avoid getting sucked in.

I went to a meeting as part of a huge EIP team (see) and I had to put my hand up and ask people to please explain what they were on about. Everything was reduced to initials.

I cannot stand 'one stop shop'.
yy to 'sourcing' ODFOD. You bought the fucking thing from a shop, you didn't trip over it after slashing your way through the Amazonian rain forest.

Most language that is used in a specialist environment makes me ragey even if I know what it means.

Not technical terms as such but jargon that has developed within that specialism.

That over sharing/ over emotional stuff that is part of every reality/talent show.
I can't watch any of them for that reason (apart from The British Sewing Bee). I think it raises my blood pressure when someone starts saying 'I love everyone here to bits' and 'You nailed that' ' you made that your own'.

Property shows do it to 'put your own stamp on it' 'country cottage kitchen' 'the heart of the home'

MN is full of buzz words and phrases that drive me bonkers. I think that is another thread though.....

FIFO, fit in or F* off has crept in, as has 'the bus is going whether you're on it or not'.
Also had a daft manager who confused blue sky thinking with blue water thinking.

So, we try not to snort with derision when 'we have to complete the conversation' or 'close the conversation' pre-supposing we have already 'sought first to understand' and had an opportunity to explore the possibilities.

Oh and don't get me started on 'I have the talking stick'.

Can I bring a few more suggestions to the plate

A 'Toolkit' of ideas. e.g. we're working on producing a 'toolkit' for that... so that's an A4 piece of paper with some instructions on then.

A 'Suite' of projects... like a 3-piece suite, but less comfy.

YY to Tranche. I still have no idea what one of those is but apparently we have a lot of them hiding around our company..

I actually think some of this management speak is detrimental to how people work. I can honestly say that when I listen to some of my managers speak like this, I don't actually understand 70% of what they say.

Well this thread is all very on trend I must say

I cannot stand 'one stop shop' oh god, we have lots of those too. "We are going to provide a toolkit of ideas, which will provide a one-stop shop (Spar? Asda?) for a suite of projects"

AAAAAAAAAARGGGGh

Devere I'd recommend The Great British Allotment Challenge, it's gorgeously twee in a good way.

My colleague said the same today Snow. I think I might take a look

We are where we are. Always said in response to any comment which might hint at the need for a little critical self reflection on how the organisation has made a series of disastrous fuck ups under their leadership.

Oh yeah! Toolkit.
Toolkit and One Stop Shop set you up for crushing disappointment.

It is NOT a toolkit and it is NOT a shop.

Snow I'm not sure you're "managing my expectations".

Have any of you been told to manage up?

No but I have been told that all my Long Term Goals have to be S.M.A.R.T

Oh god DH uses most of this shite at work!! I was a bit early meeting him for lunch so made a brew while I was waiting for him and the whole bloody office was blue sky thinking, sourcing stuff and touching base...
This was while I was pg with DD2. She's now 2.6. I'll probably stop taking the piss out of the lot of them at some point