To hate and loathe "buzz words" and want the users to receive penal punishment

[frizzcat]

You know the people I'm talking about, always talking about "blue sky thinking".
Or instead of saying they need to contact someone they say "oh I need to reach out to Jeffrey"

Then you have the people who just take it too far and start using bastard buzz words outside of work. A friend mine told me "you know Frizz you really should reach out to A N Other, they'd really love to hear from you".

IT'S TALK FFS - not "reach out" they're not falling off Everest.

So what's the most annoying bastard buzz words you've heard

Struggling here to think of a punishment that wouldn't be penal.

leverage instead of use. bloody stupid.

My pet hate is "close of play" as in "I'll get that document to you by close of play tonight" like we are all playing some lovely game of village cricket rather than stuck in a bloody office. Plus close of play means nothing - it can be 5pm to one person and 2am the next morning as he/she is finally going home to another. Just say a time for god's sake.

My company is fond of "Think Tanks" rather than groups or committees. Makes me think of them all sitting in a glass tank waiting to be showered with slime or something.

And "Task and finish" groups. As opposed to 'Task and not finish' groups, presumably. So you'd have a think tank to discuss an idea for roll out, then a task and finish group to justify their own existence action the task....

she would make a clicking noise with her tongue/teeth , to summon staff - that is just plain rude. I wouldn't answer her, you're a person not a bloody animal to be clicked at! Or better still, reply in finger snaps.

Not a particular buzzword, but I once witnessed a woman in Costa talking to her son about his school report/parents' evening in a way that was more performance management than parenting.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds 'On the weekend' is American and therefore annoying

I am a corporate copywriter.

I thank you for this thread. It will help keep me honest.

In fact, I'd go as far to say thanks for reaching out to me. I'll keep this in my thought-cloud going forward.

One company I worked for talked about "making it happen". It was even in their bloody "mission statement". What's one of those anyway? FFS everybody knows that every single person slogs their guts out for the least possible money to make profits for the shareholders. There is no other "mission". Make what "happen". How? It goes without saying that this was the least well-run organisation I ever had the misfortune to work at.

Working in corporate events this makes me want to strangle the twat on stage put earplugs in or turn the mic off.

I think the most ridiculous recently was "lets work together to clear the balls off the runway and land this thing"... seriously WTAF.

I did tell a positive motivational speaker type once that my glass was twice as big as it needed to be when he asked me if it was half full or half empty. He didnt bother me again.

Oh, and "take an action"

lampygirl

Ah Wilson there was me congratulating myself for "expanding your horizons". And then you ruined it by reaching out .... Why are you on Everest?

ughhhh - to take an action. The same boss (teeth clicker) hated me with a passion. I was always told to 'action this' and 'action that'. e.g. 'I need you to action this by 5' . Or, 'I need a 3 point action plan'. So glad I don't work for this charity any more. ( I rolled it out, and rolled well away) ;-)

You may appreciate this projects.wsj.com/buzzwords2014/?standalone=1#p=17%7C3%7C%7C20%7C%7C2%7C2. Wilson it will be invaluable in your job I'm sure.

You should have rolled over her all

My step- Mum has started doing this again

My brother , partner and baby were coming over as a "unit"

Then sometime this week we will "connect" for a coffee? huh?

My step- Mum also decided she'd need to learn to "drive" her new stove!

I'm on a virtual Everest frizz where my blue-sky thinking can really be free to fly.

ariad thank you thank you thank you

We have conversations. You can never just say " we need to talk about x" it's always "we need to have a conversation about x" or if we put off something "that's a conversation for another time"

Drives me bonkers when I walk in and find a message saying "we need a conversation". Reviews are no longer reviews they are "performance conversations"

And huddles. We have huddles all the sodding time. As in we stand together in a group and talk (or have a conversation).

I sometimes loose the will to live by 11

These are my pet hates:

• Actionable
• Ladder up
• Close of play (especially when written as cop)
• Myself/yourself (when it should be me/you)
• Value added
• Leverage
• Hyperlocal
• Deliverability
• Diversification
• Monetising
• Programmatic
• Asynchronicity

Am amazed no one has touched base yet! Or discussed a hierarchy of collateral!

TRANCHE.

I can't say any more about it as my head will explode.

I used to work as part f a creative team for a broadcaster, and I'd regularly play a private game of 'twattish buzzword bingo' in my head during team meetings with our manager.

He was always really happy to see us all, as it was our opportunity as a team to get some 'face time', and we were forever being sent off on 'break-outs' to come up with 'fresh ideas' for getting a 'buy in' from our audience.

I sometimes wanted to hurt him very badly.

I hate it when lifestyle magazines describe food as being a "crowd-pleaser".