Oooooo she's very pretty - fuck off

[Putthenerfdown]

NC for this and in no way a stealth boast.

AIBU to be sick of hearing this about myself.

Met DPs family for the first time. We went for dinner and I was polite, we had an interesting discussion about the elections, I talked to his mum about books, we had a good time. I sent a nice text the next day thanking them for paying for the meal.

DP spoke to them today. I asked him if they had a good time "yes they enjoyed it, they said how pretty you are". Um ok...anything else "no just that your pretty oh and my DM thinks your very slim"

Which is lovely. Unless your bored of bring pretty or having a nice figure. And yes I TOTALLY know how this reads (like I'm a conceited bitch). But I've heard this for years and just once it would be nice to be funny or clever or kind or interesting and not yes she's got good genes.

AIBU and should shut up or not? DP doesn't see the problem "but you are pretty" was his reply.

[OnlyLovers]

Come on then, LaQueen, out with the dirt.

[AnyFucker]

I thought all posh people swore like troopers

[OnlyLovers]

You're. No. Fun. I'm taking my ball back.

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Are you actually the real Queen LaQueen?

[Trojanhouse]

I am taking all the 'pretty ' comments I can get.

[Only1scoop]

May I say ladies you are all looking mighty fine today....

Will not say 'pretty' as we are all grown ups ....

But attractive and ver ver Bootiful

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

LOL - BTW thanks for waving to us last year as you left the Guildhall - the DC were very pleased!

[BarefootShirl]

I will happily take it as a compliment - probably because I so rarely get told these days , except by DH who often tells me I'm "gorgeous" - but I think he's got an ulterior motive and should have gone to Specsavers

[RoxyRobin]

Think yourself lucky, Barefoot - DH only calls me 'gorgeous' when I've just woken up next to him with bird's nest hair and a snail's trail of dried dribble in the corner of my mouth. Either he's got minority tastes or he's being sarcastic.

When DS was at Oxford he went out with one of his classmates. After I'd been introduced to her I told DS she was 'extremely pretty' - so shoot me.

[GarlicMayHaveNamechanged]

You can't say it's always a feminist issue. - You can certainly generalise thus, Cote, as exemplified by the good-looking lawyer and the real-life doctor twins above.

I maintain that a very attractive woman has to put in absurd amounts of effort - risking being seen as absurd - to get her other attributes noticed. It's the basic inequality problem, multiplied.

Making the same issue even worse, people unthinkingly assume that an attractive woman gets everything handed to her on a plate (some things she does, but not professional respect OR appreciation of her character,) and therefore make things harder for her.

AF, you always look fab, and I have to say you're looking exceptionally wonderful today

[AnyFucker]

Ah, Garlic. I was angling for compliments about my practical solution to OP's vexatious dilemma. Which proves a point (someone's point...I forget whose, probably everyone's) that people do judge on appearances first and foremost. It's hooman nature. Geddoverit.

[Gen35]

I wish I had been complimented yesterday - I revealed I was 20 wks pg to a dog walking acquaintance in the park and he said 'I thought you were looking rough but obviously didn't want to say anything', so not glowing then! Thanks mate!

[GarlicMayHaveNamechanged]

You mean your "be gracious" post, AF? I think she was gracious. She vented on here instead of there :) Grace no doubt comes so naturally to person of ineffable wisdom, perfect bien-être and classic beauty, such as yourself, that issues of unwelcome objectification rarely impinge on your personal experience. Being a woman of uncommon sagacity, however, I'm sure you can understand how nerf's overall experience leaves her feeling hampered.

Was that better?

[ComposHat]

Op - concluding posts with 'fuck off' will not make people notice your line of badinage or personal charm. to be honest you sound a bitlike a female Jim Royale,

[FourForksAche]

fuck off is fairly standard on mn I'd have thought! we are not nethuns, after all.

[CoteDAzur]

"Fuck off" is considered a personal attack and a deletable offence on MN, FYI.

[kinsorange]

Gen35

[CoteDAzur]

"You can certainly generalise thus, Cote, as exemplified by the good-looking lawyer and the real-life doctor twins above."

No, you can't. It is by no means a done deal that it's a feminist issue whenever a woman receives only compliments about her looks. There will always be the pretty young thing who thinks she is oh so clever and intellectual and is shocked that people only ever comment on her looks.

Your proverbial lawyer didn't "exemplify" anything. A very successful and gorgeous male lawyer would be commented on both his good looks and his brilliant intellect, in most cases. This was certainly the case with all good looking lawyers I have ever worked with.

It was also the case with all the stunning women I have worked with - People would comment on how brilliant and successful they are as well as their toned figure. And this was in some very misogynist places and industries.

The twins do sound like they have sexist parents, though.

[Pimpf]

Yanbu op

It is depressing that the best compliment they could come up with is she's pretty, not that it's a bad thing to say, but that isn't all you are about

[FourForksAche]

Cote D'azur, yes, when it is said with a poster as the recipient of it, not in general though.

[CoteDAzur]

Not sure what that means. If there are counterexamples, than the generalisation is obviously not true.

[FourForksAche]

is that to me, cote?

it's not difficult, I may say zing, fuck off, that would be an attack. the recipient of my fuck off is a poster.

or I may say taking my clothes pegs in every day? fuck off! not a personal attack, an attack on a concept or behaviour.