To think that pregnant women don't trump everybody else for a seat on the tube?

[dancersdad]

I possibly need some perspective. DW and I were in London today, and unavoidably had to travel on the tube this evening in commuter rush hour. DW has a number of health issues that aren't physically visible, but definitely do impact upon her ability to stand on a crowded tube. When we got on at the start of our journey back the tube was packed with no free seats, so we both stood and I held onto DW as I was worried she was going to fall. The carriage was made up almost entirely of commuters. Two stops into our journey an elderly man got off leaving one of the priority seats free- the only free seat in the carriage. DW went to take the seat and was almost knocked onto the floor by a heavily pregnant woman who tried to slide into the seat alongside DW and beat her to it, as it was DW was already in the seat and the other woman stood up. She then told DW she was so sorry to ask her to move, but she was in a priority seat and as she was sure she knew, priority seats are reserved for those who really need them. DW told her that she had a reason for needing the priority seat too and refused to move when asked again. Cue a whole string of abuse about how no one has any manners nowadays, that she had asked DW to give up her seat for her because as a woman she would expect DW to understand that pregnancy can be hell, the least she could do would be to let her have the seat etc. I stepped in at this point and explained that DW really did need the seat, and loudly suggested to the rest of the carriage that I was sure someone else would be willing to give up a seat for her. Suddenly everyone else was deeply engrossed in their ipads, kindles etc, except for an elderly lady in the other priority seat who clearly needed it too, and offered her seat. The pregnant woman announced loudly that she couldn't possibly ask someone else who needed the seat to give it up, and it was a shame that some people (glaring at DW) had no respect for the priority system, which is in place to ensure those who really need a seat can get one. I pointed out again that DW had a genuine need for the seat too. Cue huffing, eye rolling, and lurching over DW whenever the train changed speed for the rest of her journey.

AIBU to think that although some pregnant women do need a seat on a tube, they shouldn't assume automatic priority over others also in need? There's no priority seat ranking system I don't know about?

Not read the whole thread, so apologies if I've missed something vital. I am a long term crutches user so really feel for your wife on this.

Yes, pregnant women should be allowed to sit down (centre of gravity is changed, weight is changed, possibly they are in pain etc) no that doesn't trump other disabled or elderly passengers. I refuse to take a seat from an elderly passenger because I don't see my disability as trumping others. I am very aware of invisible disability so I wouldn't expect someone who doesn't "look" sick to necessarily be healthy.

It is one of my biggest irritations with travelling how people suddenly find something out the window or their gadget or book or each other more interesting when they see me get on a crowded bus or train. I once had a woman sat in priority seats have a go at me because my crutch was hitting her as it was swinging from my elbow whilst I held on to the post for dear life. Another time a teenaged couple were giggling at each other because they knew they were keeping me and an 82 year old man (we discussed his age and my disability ) from sitting. The poor man could barely stand and fell a couple of times. My friend and another lady who got on surrounded him to try and help.

Oh, she/he's a fecking troll then compost. Thanks for the warning. I will ignore seemingly the stupid twat for now then.

How do you know that though compost? Lydia only has about 7 posts in his/her history?

If memory serves me she's popped up before making vile posts.

The name and posting style is familiar.

You're probably right compos.

YWBU. The End.

"As an aside, it would be interesting to know that if there were a badge introduced by tfl, whether it would follow the medical need model for disability that the blue badge scheme does, or whether it would just allow people to self define as they currently do."

I doubt it. The current phraseology is that the priority is for those who are "disabled, pregnant or less able to stand." The illustration includes a pregnant woman, a woman carrying a child and a man with a stick. See p4.

www.tfl.gov.uk/cdn/static/cms/documents/tfl-supplementary-signs-standard.pdf

But Broken, are you suggesting that ops wife should have built herself up for the journey so she could give up her seat?? The op hasn't done anything wrong, she has taken responsibility for her own travel. She knew she may have to stand. As it turned out she was lucky to get a seat that she was entitled to sit in. Same goes for pg woman. Although she didn't get a seat this time. By that principle, why aren't you also suggesting how the pg woman should have taken steps to manage her journey? Eaten more food and rested before leaving??? Rather than targeting / discriminating against the woman with the hidden disability?

It is reasonable to assume that people who are sat in priority seats, who say they need a seat, really do need a seat. Therefore it is unbelievably rude and showing a lack of compassion to try to force someone out whether you are pregnant or not.

What is incredible, is this "vulnerable pregnant lady" continued to direct her anger at the handful of people needing the seats and not at the multitudes of other people sat in regular seats who (most probably) could have easily given up their seat for her.

Why does it become a case of "my need for a priority seat is greater than yours", when there are probably many fit and healthy people on that train who just chose to ignore someone in need??

It is reasonable to assume that people who are sat in priority seats, who say they need a seat, really do need a seat. Therefore it is unbelievably rude and showing a lack of compassion to try to force someone out whether you are pregnant or not.

What is incredible, is this "vulnerable pregnant lady" continued to direct her anger at the handful of people needing the seats and not at the multitudes of other people sat in regular seats who (most probably) could have easily given up their seat for her.

Why does it become a case of "my need for a priority seat is greater than yours", when there are probably many fit and healthy people on that train who just chose to ignore someone in need??

Broken, I refuse to believe your sister had anorexia as you clearly have a distinct lack of understanding of what an eating disorder is and does to someone.

It's not as simple as waking up one day and going "oh hey guys, got a tube journey coming up. Best overcome my illness in a week and stuff my face to get fat ready for it."

Stupidity.

And as has been said many times, the OP and his wife didn't do anything wrong.

Maybe using your logic, the pregnant lady should never have got pregnant until she stopped using the tube?

Ridiculous.

I don't believe it either ready Such a show of ignorance and lack of understanding.

No she should have built herself for tbe journey to ensure she would not be at risk of collapsing if she had to stand. The same way that obese people are frequently to lose weight so they fit in a seat.

Ok, so the disabled should make themselves fit to travel, the obese should get thin, the thin should put on weight. So simple in your naive little world. I think the terminally ignorant should sit a test before being allowed to post.

So many disablist comments on this thread. It's horrible to read the lack of compassion.

No matter how rude, a pregnant lady is vulnerable, can't be denied.

No one is denying that, just saying DW was also vulnerable, why can't people see that? And she got the seat first, should have been the end of the story but pregnant woman harped on and on.

DW has brittle bones and recently had surgery. This isn't about her feeling faint through lack of food, FFS.

No matter how rude, a pregnant lady is vulnerable, can't be denied.

Of course. And the ops wife? Do you see her as vulnerable too?

So is an ill or disabled person. The woman in the OP was wrong in what she did. Hopefully she realised that later and was mortified by her behaviour. We all snap sometimes, and maybe as others have suggested, she had just had enough of fit young healthy people hogging seats and not having the decency to stand up and let her sit down. Unfortunately, she let rip at the wrong person though.

If this was the orient express yes. Its not, its the tube at rush hour.

She didn't have to go into a long history of her illness.

She could have said anything to allay the upset of the pregnant lady, who told her she had already had a shit day.

She could have said she had anything....without going into the nitty gritty of her mind set.

She could have said anything, she chose not too and she chooses to act like she is on the orient express.

She did say something. She said she had a need of the seat, and her husband endorsed that.