to be upset my friend didn't acknowledge my save the date card?

[clapofthunder]

So I hand delivered a few of my save the date cards (as it was only a walk around the small town I live in).

I knocked on my friends door and no-one answered so I posted it instead. 2 weeks later I still haven't heard anything.

We went for a drink with a group of mutual friends so I asked her then if she got it and the only reply I got back yeah - "oh yeah I did thanks"

Aibu to think she could have acknowledged it?

you're not your

I love a good wedding and really enjoy them.

However, excited as I have been for many friends weddings Save the date cards have never been responded too - plus these cards are normally so far away from the date that there isn't anything to discuss like venues,dress, cake and flowers or other wedding details. Therefore it doesn't warrant any conversation. Doesn't mean your friend doesn't care though, I'm sure she does.

I agree it's a big deal to them but brides do have to understand it really isn't a big deal to everyone else.

The guests just need to know when and where to pitch up and enjoy the day with the couple, they shouldn't be expected to gush over every detail beforehand.

Our first "Save the Date" did come from the US - o/h's niece. I had never heard of this procedure before, and just thought it was the invitation. Yet we already knew the date, because we had spoken on the phone and communicated by email. It seemed a colossal waste of money (as many UK guests were attending but already knew about the event) to have these specially printed, then pay the extra postage.

Then, received a generic pre-printed card (similar to the STD card) simply saying "Thank you for sharing in our special day". No acknowledgement of the gift at all. No personal touch. I was not impressed. Lazy, just lazy!!

I suspect there is a pretty strong correlation between brides who are bridezillas and B&G's who don't send thank you cards- that's certainly been the case in my experience.

It's like as soon as it stops being all about them and the wedding is over, they lose interest and are far too busy to thank their guests- funny they found the time to stress about every little detail before the wedding though.

I agree, Bear! We knew about every detail beforehand - engagement celebration photos, pics of the ring, photos of hen/stag nights, photos of practice make-up evenings, etc, etc, etc, (I'm not on F/book any more)

Even our Christmas card was just (again) a generic, pre-printed card of the happy couple posing for professional photos wearing "wacky" props - santa hats or head bobbles, funny glasses. Clearly trying to continue engaging everyone's interest even though the wedding is done and dusted. Vomit-inducing

OP - please don't go down this route. Please wait until you send out your proper invitations, then worry when people don't reply! Hope you have a lovely, stress-free wedding

YABU

Save the date cards are just a courtesy - so that people who would really like to come but need a lot of notice (childcare/work shifts/potential holidays) can have advance notice to help them in their planning. Receiving it doesn't commit anyone to coming.

It's not an invitation. Even if it was, no reply is necessary unless you put RSVP on it. And RSVP on a STD card would be pointless - there is nothing to say.

I don't understand save the date cards. I got a few last year, and never replied to them as they're not invites.
To the actual invites, I always reply promptly.
What are the actual POINT of them? Invites save the date too.
Maybe I'm just old.

Whatever you do OP, please make sure you invite everyone on your STD list!

This one ran to 4 threads in the finish :o

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1807864-to-say-no-to-this-request-from-a-friend

I sent STDs for our wedding for two reasons. Firstly, we had a lot of international people to invite and wanted them to be able to book their flights well in advance. Secondly, I crafted all the paper goods for our wedding and just wanted to make them . They were cute, they had a little cartoon of us and a button on, with a magnet on the back. People liked them and lots of people still have them on their fridge five years later!

However, I sent them more for me than anything else. I like to craft and it seemed like a fun project. I did not expect anyone to acknowledge them at all! Don't get upset.

Yabu.

I hate save the date cards. Just send a pissing invite!

I hate that Save the Date cards have become a thing in the last year or so. Turning people into even bigger wedding bores.

You're not meant to respond to a Save the Date card, you just mark it on the calendar.

For goodness sake, so now you have to acknowledge a Save the Date card as well as the invite.

OP I hope you have a lovely wedding, I do, and I know it means a lot to you but please don't start getting all precious at this early stage.

I got a save the date fridge magnet for a wedding a few years ago. They're separated now. I've still got the magnet on the fridge.

I'm so old that if there were people & really wanted to come & I wanted to give them notice I phoned them up