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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset my friend didn't acknowledge my save the date card?

191 replies

clapofthunder · 06/05/2014 20:20

So I hand delivered a few of my save the date cards (as it was only a walk around the small town I live in).

I knocked on my friends door and no-one answered so I posted it instead. 2 weeks later I still haven't heard anything.

We went for a drink with a group of mutual friends so I asked her then if she got it and the only reply I got back yeah - "oh yeah I did thanks"

Aibu to think she could have acknowledged it?

OP posts:
PostmanPatAlwaysRingsTwice · 06/05/2014 20:30

I don't even know why you'd need to send a save the date card to people you regularly see. Just tell them!

ShatnersBassoon · 06/05/2014 20:31

YABU. Your wedding plans are boring until people know where it is and what they'll get to eat.

usualsuspectt · 06/05/2014 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 06/05/2014 20:32

I received a "Save the Date" by email for a house move party. I didn't reply, then received another through my letterbox.
"Save the Date" is yet another annoying American thing that is invading us.
I did think it was just to ask you to put the date in your diary, just so you don't double-book.
They should need replying to. You only RSVP to invitations. Don't you?

DragonMamma · 06/05/2014 20:32

YABU

They don't warrant a response unless you know you definitely can't attend.

BeCool · 06/05/2014 20:33

Isn't a STD purely an FYI thing. I wouldn't expect an RSVP to one.

I might expect an"oh Crap I'm in the Balearics on that date so can't come sorry" kind of response if appropriate. Maybe.

Blu · 06/05/2014 20:33

So she's a friend, already knew you were getting married, probably already knew when....

What did you expect to hear?

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 06/05/2014 20:33

Sorry - that should have read "shouldn't" need replying to

Cornettoninja · 06/05/2014 20:33

Usual, we've had a fair few over the years, usually as fancy as the invitation itself. Just another way to squeeze a few more pennies out of over excited brides and grooms imho.

BillyBanter · 06/05/2014 20:33

I got my first save the date fridge magnet the other week. It's for over 2 years away! I'm going to have to be really inventive if I don't want to go.

wheresthelight · 06/05/2014 20:34

Yabvu. A save the date doesn't require acknowledgment or an rsvp. It is merely a cursory note to let people know the date you have booked. If you want acknowledgment. Then send an invite

Smartiepants79 · 06/05/2014 20:34

You are being extremely precious.
I think you're going to need to toughen up a bit if you're going to get thorough this wedding without falling out with all your friends.
Save the date cards are for information only (and a waste of money if you ask me).
Come back when people don't acknowledge the actual invitations and then you might get some sympathy.

ImAThrillseekerBunny · 06/05/2014 20:35

And the reason for an STD card is if you literally want to give your guests as much notice as possible (eg to book advance flights, or book work shifts/holidays) but haven't yet got all the details ready in order to send out a fully detailed invite.

Dozer · 06/05/2014 20:35

STD Grin

MrsMaturin · 06/05/2014 20:35

Save the date MAGNET for an event more than two years away? That's daft!

MrsMaturin · 06/05/2014 20:36

I mean the best man will have time to shag the bride 50 times by then and everybody will have got pregnant TWICE

BillyBanter · 06/05/2014 20:36

They've already been engaged for a year or two.

coffeewithcreamm · 06/05/2014 20:37

Just send an invitation, wait for replies, no need for save the date cards.

Chippednailvarnish · 06/05/2014 20:38

This has got to be a reverse.

Or you really are going to be the bride from hell.

BillyBanter · 06/05/2014 20:38

tbf the magnet bit is very sensible. I know exactly where it is when I need to remind myself when it is.

ApocalypseNowt · 06/05/2014 20:38

What responses were you expecting. I can only really think of three:

  1. Yes! I have saved the date!

  2. No! I am already busy so unable to save the date!

  3. No! I have not saved the date due to a subsequent engagement....

joanofarchitrave · 06/05/2014 20:39

two YEARS in advance?

was that by the We Saw You Coming Stationery Company?

How far ahead is the date, OP? I wouldn't expect to respond to a save the date card, sorry.

FunkyBoldRibena · 06/05/2014 20:39

Er...what were you expecting exactly?

AgentProvocateur · 06/05/2014 20:39

I've never heard of this. Sounds like a complete faff - surely if you're close enough to the couple for your presence to be essential, you'd know when they were getting married. And if you're not that close, you wouldn't put off booking a holiday just because they were getting married. Hmm

Bridezillas have created a whole new industry.

StealthPolarBear · 06/05/2014 20:40

What should her response have been exactly?
I too dont get the point. The only people I made sure to save the date were my aunt, uncle and cousins ( I told them verbally, well in fact I saw them regularly so they just knew) I needed them to be there. I was fortunate that everyone else cpuld make it but they received an invitatuin and they got to make the choice then!