Imp of the peverse - WARNING some might be odd/distressing to people who don't get this.

[elfycat]

On another thread I mentioned an act that I sort of daydream of. It's not a daydream but rather a little naughty voice/image that will never be acted on. The imp is cousin to the imp of mischief, only a bit more, well, peverse.

For me these include, but are not limited to:

Wondering what it's like to jump of something high

When reaching for a knife and DH is washing up, so I reach around him, I wonder what it would feel like to stab him (he knows this)

How it would feel to punch my 3 year old when she is being a threenager

What it would feel like to cut off your own arm (following on from the film where the rock climber had to) in particular the feeling of going through the elbow joint.

Obviously I am not going to harm myself or anyone in my family. I haven't name changed as I know it not to be a problem and SS do not be called as I am not a danger to anyone.

So anyone else understand why I am not a total nutter? And how are you other imp-sufferers getting on with the naughty one whispering in your ear.

Umm...

You are not a nutter (I've already said that!)

Here's a link to that book I mentioned on the other thread, in case it comes in handy over here:

"What Mothers Do"

Intrusive thoughts. Google it ~ it's not that unusual and can be a symptom of depression.

Oh thanks pookamoo. I was going back to the thread to look so I could order it.

And as the AIBU isn't complete

Ahem

AIBU to think I can't be the only one!

I often fear I will jump/fall of the all buildings and bridges

it scares the life out of me

When I was younger (about 8-9yo) I wanted to bite through someones leg until my yeeth met

I don't have the urge now (thankfully)

Ohh Lorialet I've been depressed my whole life!

One of my main hobbies is writing. I guess a lot of what we read in books, and comes from the imagination of writers might be the work of this imp. While I like writing nice stuff I can tap into the darker if I want to.

There's a name for it, although I can't for the life of me think what it is. It's quite common, apparently. I get it quite a lot myself, apart from the violence towards family members but anyone else is fair game .

Intrusive thoughts.
When I had PND. No actually, it's too bad for this thread.

The thing that worries me is the wondering about punching your three year old because it is born out of frustration/anger. You haven't said whether the others are triggered by certain behaviour though. It concerns me that you think this way when frustrated with your child.

I got awful intrusive thoughts when I was depressed/anxious.

Thank goodness for seroxat :)

I still want to slap someone with a wet fish someday though...

Wiki has this to say on intrusive thoughts:

"Inappropriate aggressive thoughts[edit]
Intrusive thoughts may involve violent obsessions about hurting others or themselves.[16] They can include such thoughts as harming an innocent child; jumping from a bridge, mountain, or the top of a tall building; urges to jump in front of a train or automobile; and urges to push another in front of a train or automobile.[4] Rachman's survey of healthy college students found that virtually all of them had intrusive thoughts from time to time, including:[6]

causing harm to elderly people
imagining or wishing harm upon someone close to oneself
impulses to violently attack, hit, harm or kill a person, small child, or animal
impulses to shout at or abuse someone, or attack and violently punish someone, or say something rude, inappropriate, nasty, or violent to someone.
These thoughts are part of being human, and need not ruin quality of life.[17] Treatment is available when the thoughts are associated with OCD and become persistent, severe, or distressing."

Intrusive thoughts. Very common and often a form / symotom of anxiety, depression. or an -over - imagination

Probably not HotSauce, not for those of us that understand. Mind you I've been a nurse for 20 years and nothing has shocked or surprised me yet.

I hope the PND is well and truly over for you now.

Hmm...a couple of those seem a little extreme but I have had weird imaginings before...

Wondering what it would be like to drive to the home of a customer who was an arsehole to me (I have custs addresses) and put a brick through their window.

Wondering what would happen if I just randomly strolled into work one morning naked.

I have also wondered what it would be like to jump off something high, and always thought it is probably kind of exhilarating seeing the ground rushing to meet you...before you get dead of course.

Etc...

Ocd

I have had most of these thoughts before too. Does this mean I'm depressed?

I thought it was interesting that it mentioned "harming an innocent child", but didn't offer an opinion on a really annoying one .

How frequent are these thoughts?

Are they frightening you?

It's probably perfectly normal, but if you are worried, you should really see your GP to rule out a problem.

I have had all three to varying degrees! I had intrusive thoughts really bad at uni (stress related anxiety) was horrid. Cbt helped. Never had it back as it has lost its 'power' - I know thought are thoughts an you cannot control your first thought , but you can your second :) (ie dont berate yourself)

Jumping in front of a train.

And most recently, digging up a grave... urgh

Oh hitting my child started as a calm thought. She's been delightful until the last few weeks. I just get reminded of it when I'm frustrated.

The one about stabbing my husband was so frequent (He always does the washing up as I'm cooking) that I actually got bored thinking it. 'Oh look I'm reaching for the knife, so let's think the stupid thought you always have. That's soooooo original' I stopped out of sheer boredom after a couple of years.

I'm getting bored with the jumping one too. Sooner or later the hitting one will go the same way. My imp doesn't exactly need help though.

This is an interesting article by somebody properly edumacated for anyone wondering how 'normal' they are.

And this one. I think that it should be reassuring to most people.