Imp of the peverse - WARNING some might be odd/distressing to people who don't get this.

[elfycat]

On another thread I mentioned an act that I sort of daydream of. It's not a daydream but rather a little naughty voice/image that will never be acted on. The imp is cousin to the imp of mischief, only a bit more, well, peverse.

For me these include, but are not limited to:

Wondering what it's like to jump of something high

When reaching for a knife and DH is washing up, so I reach around him, I wonder what it would feel like to stab him (he knows this)

How it would feel to punch my 3 year old when she is being a threenager

What it would feel like to cut off your own arm (following on from the film where the rock climber had to) in particular the feeling of going through the elbow joint.

Obviously I am not going to harm myself or anyone in my family. I haven't name changed as I know it not to be a problem and SS do not be called as I am not a danger to anyone.

So anyone else understand why I am not a total nutter? And how are you other imp-sufferers getting on with the naughty one whispering in your ear.

elfycat: Not that bad apparently. Better than the fart-lighting phase.

I actually read some pretty extensive research which said that many people hear voices, who have no mental illness.

I don't hear voices, but it was interesting to read that a symptom like this, while it can be a sign of mental illness, can also be just one of those strange human quirks.

I assumed most people got these random , horrible thoughts. It's only a problem if (a)you obsess about being the only weirdo who does (b) you can't say to yourself, well that's a weird thought, now let's move on to something a bit more sensible or (c) you act on them.

Isn't it a form of OCD? Pure OCD if you find them overwhelming? .

Another I often have, if I walk past a beautiful large flowerbed, the kind you get in public gardens, I have an urge to belly flop into them and roll around until they're all flat .

Thistledew

"The only one that proves hardest to resist is the urge to drop my car or door keys down a drain. It would be something that would be awkward to solve, but ultimately pretty harmless. If I park anywhere near a drain I start off with the thought - "don't drop your keys" and then I have to really hold on to them not to drop them on purpose"

Me too. How odd.

There's a bit of road on my way home from work where the dual carriage way goes over a massive roundabout.

There's no barrier after the slip round until the actual bridge starts.

Every time I drive over there I wonder about driving off the side. If I put my foot down enough would I sail through the air and land in the middle of the roundabout.

Now I'm wondering what it would be like to put that numbing lube on toast. Not that I have any I can assure you. But how would your tongue feel? How long til it went off? Would it work if you gargled when you have a sore throat?

It was when I went in for pregnancy tests after years of reliable contraception and then TTC and saw the range available. I'm sure there were only 2-3 brands making 4 types each, and plain KY when I was a lass. DH and I wandered past in a kind of daze - oh tingly? Numbing? Bubblegum? with WTF on our faces.

Now I'm going to think of toast every time I go into Boots well at least it's a mild one.

I often have an urge to pick up my pc or my coffee mug and throw it out of the 6th floor window at work, smashing the window to smithereens.

Goal during my therapy too silly lass!

I don't have OCD but I've had these kind of thoughts over the years. Low level ones are wanting to touch wet paint or shout 'arse' in a lecture hall.

Odder one was for a while I wanted to stick a metal knitting needle into the electric fan heater.

When I had PND I really wanted DP to hit me hard across the face. Sometimes I thought he actually had.

Funny thing, the old brain.

I've just ordered the book recommended on page 1. I do like a good book recommendation.

I have these thoughts a lot. They started when I had PND and scared the hell out of me and although I have these thoughts when I'm calm I also have them when I'm angry.

I've realised that the anger thoughts are actually a good thing. The graphic visualisation of committing such a horrific act is enough to ensure that I would never, ever do it. It's almost as if by imagining it I am confirming that I totally, absolutely would not want to do it.

And I don't think normalising it is a bad thing. Realising other people have similar thoughts was a massive help to my recovery. There's nothing like feeling you're insane to actually drive you insane. And when I felt insane I felt I was capable of anything. Seeing these thoughts in a different light has made me realise I'm not.

To anyone who has intrusive thoughts - do you also sometimes "daydream" of disasters? I have a horrible "daydream" of my husband or children dying and try to imagine how I would feel. I hate it. It's almost as if I'm trying to mentally prepare for the worst in case it ever happened. I find these thoughts far more distressing than the others...

Standing up and shouting in the middle of a classical music concert!

a person leaning over the edge of water - I feel like pushing them in.

a friend had was wondering what it would be like to inject coloured pen ink into her vein

when people say " I want to stick a pin in my eye" I do wonder if that would make a balloon pooping sound.

interesting thread.
and to anyone who is suffering/suffered from any kind of MH

I'm making Elsa and Anna costumes for DDs over the next few days I trawled the charity shops for materials today, washed and ready to go

I have one where I want to run my fingers through the sewing machine. I do a fair bit of sewing, patchwork and costume making mostly and still have intact fingers. I have a bit of a needle phobia too. Tomorrow should be a good day.

I was going to say what Nerf said, exactly that.

The ones I have are jumping off a tall building or in front of a train, or driving off a bridge or flyover

icannever

Yes, that's the way I see it - it's a sort of facing up to fear

I had a friend who was diagnosed with 'Pure O' OCD, which from what I could tell seemed to be having these intrusive thoughts almost all of the time (and also not being able to disassociate oneself from the thoughts, if you see what I mean - i.e. she thought she was an awful person because she was having certain thoughts, even though they repulsed her).

However, as others have said this is definitely also a very common thing - certainly I've experienced it, anyway! Bridges are a weird one for me. I don't think about throwing myself off them but rather about throwing something precious over them, such as my wedding ring or my work rucksack with my laptops and notes (I'm a PhD student, so my notebook and laptop are pretty much my working life).

It's a difficult topic because some of this intrusive thoughts are the kind of things that could easily turn into actions (such as harming oneself etc)...

Also electric fences. I have this intense desire to stick my hand out whenever I'm near one.

The other one I have is when shaving my legs - thinking I might shave into the skin

So glad you posted this, as I often get the stabbing my other half thoughts too!

I think it's a totally normal part of the human condition, as long as you recognise that it is just a fleeting thought and would never act on it.

Yes indeed, I get these, and I recognise a lot of those that have already been discussed on this thread. Mine include:

Dropping keys down drain
Hurling mobile phone/shoes into a river/the sea
Jumping off a cliff/bridge etc
Stabbing someone in the vicinity with a kitchen knife while unloading the dishwasher
Opening the emergency exit doors on planes
Shouting obscenities in public
Saying very embarrassing/inappropriate things to people I don't know well in formal situations. e.g. Asking a very specific question about their sex life.
Imagining people naked (this one isn't as fun as it sounds)

There are probably lots more but those are the ones I immediately thought of. Like others posters, mine mostly just go away again as quickly as they appear.

Another bridge person, but only particular bridges and it can be either me or something of great sentimental and/or monetary value that's going over the edge. Actually all you non bridge fantasists may well be the odd ones out.

I also second shouting at a classical concert.

I'm pretty sure my toddler has this, but he hasn't worked out that he doesn't have to listen to the imp.

What would it be like to bite mummy's leg?

I wonder what my brother would do if I pushed him over and jumped on him?

What would happen if I squeezed the entire tube of toothpaste into the bathtub?

Let's see I have weird ones, but relatively harmless thoughts.

• Wanting to put a straw in other people's drinks and drinking at restaurants.
• Worrying about dropping the baby, baby falling off something. I get nightmares about this too. I've been fretting about this before she was even born. I just make sure to pick the baby up a certain way so I have a firm grip.
• Wanting to bite every apple at the store and leave them all facing bite side up.
• If I get a song stuck in my head, I have to finish a lyric to completion or I won't get it out of my head.
• Jumping/falling/getting pushed off high places.

I don't think I've had any violent thoughts towards other people though. Most of it is just day dreaming about ridiculous scenarios that will never happen.