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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

"Bra" for a 7 year old

182 replies

YouAreMyRain · 28/04/2014 09:24

DD (7) has come back from a weekend at her dad's and his girlfriend has bought her a "bra" (as she calls it) I suppose it's a cropped vest really.

AIBU to be a bit pissed off?

It doesn't function as a vest (due to it's cropped nature) so it's only purpose seems to be as a fake bra to make DD feel grown up.

I think there is too much pressure on children to grow up too fast.

Do I return it with a note or bin it and deny all knowledge?

OP posts:

Endymion · 28/04/2014 09:49

But this is a 7 year old and the op has made no mention of need.

NearTheWindymill · 28/04/2014 09:50

I really can't see the issue. And whoever said up thread that girls younger than Yr 6 didn't need anything like them because they hadn't started to develop - absolute piffle - many many girls are starting to develop breast buds at 7 or 8. My dd did and had sweet little crop tops because they were comfy and discreet - especially when nobody else wore a vest anymore because were uncool.

Mrsjayy · 28/04/2014 09:52

I really have no problems with crop tops i dont see why people get worked up about them however the dads girlfriend shouldn't have bought it without you or dad knowing first and agreeing to it did your dd ask for it were they out and she saw it in a shop, Little girls do start to realise they are different from boys at around your dds age and I do think if they want something to cover their chests then it is ok oh maybe her dad thought it was fine you don't it is a conflict of interests really

BuzzardBird · 28/04/2014 09:52

A 7yr old in my DD's class had the same recently. I have made it completely clear to my DD that she has years ahead of wearing ridiculously uncomfortable clothing and she isn't going to start now. When she starts to develop that will be another matter but DD and her 'bra friend' are both as skinny as cotton and their ribs are the only things sticking out. I think it is pathetic, children are growing up too quickly. I would send the bra back with the message that your DD is 7. As an aside my friends said to me the other day that buying your DD's first bra is a special occasion that should only be done with Mum (It's a first on me but I get where she is coming from) so maybe you could use that as your reason?

Tess999 · 28/04/2014 09:54

DD2 is 8 and very skinny and certainly not starting to develop. She asked me at the weekend when she would get a crop top. She feels like a baby in vests. I said of course i would get her one next time i'm in m&s. i won't be rushing but i'm not going to dismiss it. it's important she can talk to me, be honest and know i'll listen and not laugh or tell her she doesn't need it. she knows she doesn't "need" it. if i say no or dismiss her now that will set a barrier in years to come when she may not want to ask me or feel like i will listen to her. maybe i'm overthinking this...
they're certainly not bras, just short vests.

Tess999 · 28/04/2014 09:56

these are surely ok for a 7/8 year old

i wouldn't buy these yet, too bra like

sunbathe · 28/04/2014 09:57

I don't see the harm in them.

She may not need them, but why not allow her a little dignity.

She may not want everyone else seeing her exact stage of (non) development.

Canthisonebeused · 28/04/2014 09:57

Mind you my 7 year old nephew is conscious about his nipples and any nakedness in general too, it's probably just normal growing up development of dignity

UnderthePalms · 28/04/2014 09:57

Do people who are against cropped vests buy swimming costumes for their daughters? Or just bikini bottoms to wear to the pool? I'm not sure it's any different.

harryhausen · 28/04/2014 09:59

I was responding to the mention up thread that no child below yr 6 needs a crop top. It's just totally untrue.

My dd started to develop sensitive breast buds around 7. The crop top just helps prevent uncomfortable rubbing on clothes etc. I think the Lycra nature of them affords more 'protection' than a normal vest.

I also don't get the problem with them. They're just small tighter vests really.

Mrsjayy · 28/04/2014 10:00

Do people who are against cropped vests buy swimming costumes for their daughters? Or just bikini bottoms to wear to the pool? I'm not sure it's any different.

This is the most obvious statement i have ever seen on here when crop tops are mentioned most 7 yr old girls wear swimsuits the crop top is no different

Mrsjayy · 28/04/2014 10:01

OP if you dont want her to wear it don't mention it put it in her drawer and she will decide if she wants to wear it

Catflap1 · 28/04/2014 10:02

Is it a crop top or a bra shaped cropped top (I.e triangle shape)

My dd wear crops since they where about 8ish now 9/11, they have done this as they don't like undressing for or and a crop it's just a little more grown up than a vest

I honestly don't see a problem with a crop unless it is a bra style one then I agree it's not appropriate

Original poster

YouAreMyRain · 28/04/2014 10:02

Underthepalms - I think swimming costumes are different because they are visible! Crop tops are hidden under clothes. It's not like walking around in pants v pants and a crop top.

What does a crop top actually do that a vest doesn't?

OP posts:

ashtrayheart · 28/04/2014 10:02

I think there's a difference between a bra type crop top and a short vest type crop top. I can't see the problem with the latter once a child has expressed a feeling that vests are babyish - I will get some for my dd2/3 when the time comes.

pebblyshit · 28/04/2014 10:03

I don't think it's something a dad's gf should buy but I am baffled by the general hatred of them. My dd doesn't 'need' absolutely everything she owns and the idea that a girl should be made to feel silly for wanting to cover her breasts because someone else has decided that they aren't worth covering pisses me off no end.

harryhausen · 28/04/2014 10:03

Catflap, I agree there's no need for 'bra' shaped ones. The ones I use are just plain white 'vest' shaped.

Canthisonebeused · 28/04/2014 10:03

Mostly I did only have bikini pants for my dd but pat 3 years old they are difficult to buy. I only started buying costumes for dd when she was about 5 and started swimming lessons and chose her own costume. At the beach etc she mostly wears swimming shorts but they are to baggy for actual swimming.

I think like tess suggests regardless of if they are needed or not you need to weigh up the importance of listening and understanding and finding what works best and if that's a plain crop top then there is no real harm.

Original poster

YouAreMyRain · 28/04/2014 10:04

Ashtrayheart - you will get some gory out DD when the time comes but would you be happy if someone else made that decision?

OP posts:

Original poster

YouAreMyRain · 28/04/2014 10:05

for your

OP posts:

UnderthePalms · 28/04/2014 10:06

Crop tops are visible when they get changed for PE

Original poster

YouAreMyRain · 28/04/2014 10:06

OP posts:

UnderthePalms · 28/04/2014 10:06

I don't ever see any 7 year olds wearing just bikini bottoms at the pool.

ashtrayheart · 28/04/2014 10:08

Youare- my xh's female friend bought dd1 her first bra! I wasn't that bothered, I was relieved not to have to do it, dd1 is a nightmare to get clothes for!

UnderthePalms · 28/04/2014 10:09

OP, just tell your dd she is not allowed to wear it if you are morally opposed to them.

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