To wonder why people are so often against co sleeping?

[pigluscious]

Maybe I'm a silly lentil weaving hippy, but I really don't understand why people are so obsessed with getting little babies to sleep on their own, and to settle themselves. What on earth is wrong with rocking/feeding to sleep and then tucking your child in (following all the safety advice) next to you?
AIBU?

I'm not against it. I just didn't feel comfortable (literally and figuratively) doing it.

Because it increases the risk of cot death, and a lot of people do not want to take any extra risks, however small. I know plenty of people who have enjoyed co sleeping but I also know someone who rolled on top of their baby and it suffocated to death. An extreme example maybe but one that should be considered for anyone thinking about co sleeping.

Well, I think a lot of people are worried because it is often said to be associated with a higher risk of cot death. Personally I could never sleep with my baby because I was paranoid about that and consequently got no sleep! Some people just sleep better on their own, and avoiding the desperate misery of sleep deprivation is pretty high up many peoples priority list!

I think the risk of rolling on top of baby and suffocating it is the main reason. Also, babies can overheat in a bed with a duvet and extra body heat etc.

In my day, "co-sleeping" was a bit of a pragmatic act, often last resort for getting some sleep. Not a philosophy to be pitted against others.

I thought it carried a higher risk of death than SIDS. I did it a bit but I never slept well as I was worried about smothering my dd.

Tried it, too uncomfortable. Putting my baby in her own room after 6 months and getting up to her in the night actually resulted in more sleep than trying to sleep in the same bed as her.

Obsessed? No mine all settled very easily and were all happy to sleep on their own. Why would I force them to be feed or rocked to sleep. Rocking is the last I'd want.... Make me feel sick.

I think people who do it often think about the safest way to do it, don't they - there's advice about how to do it to reduce risk, isn't there?

I couldn't sleep with my DCs in the room with me and they were in another room well before 6 months (advice has changed since). Some might say I was putting them at risk

Bob

I did assume mine would settle themselves too, and they did. Ricking etc undermined that, I think. They would get more wound up.

Rocking not ricking

The whole SIDS thing in young babies fear that they will carry it on too l

Ok, but what about converting a cot so that it's a co sleeper? Where baby has their own safe space but is effectively in bed with you? It always seems to me that people are desperate to persuade tiny babies not to depend on them for sleep?

Yy jones. I remember seeing something similar on The Baby Whisperer. No jiggling as baby thinks it's playtime. :-)

pig

People are desperate to get them to sleep, so that they can get more sleep.

I like my own space and so do my dc.We all love our sleep too.

I also frankly can't be arsed with rocking etc after witching hour.My dc had cuddles all day.By bedtime which has been 7pm from a few months old I'm frankly in need of me time not rocking,cajoling and an interloper in my bed.

You can do what you like.

SIDS and suffocation risk. That's it.

I've had great sleepers so my approach can't be all that wrong op!

Because the organisations and charities that promote safe sleep don't trust people to be able to take on board complex messages about risk and safety. So instead of educating the general public about how to bed share in the safest way possible (as they educate about the safest way to use a cot - feet to the foot, on the back, right layering, no possible obstructions) they promote a blanket NO message.

Which is silly because bed sharing accidentally as a last resort is probably the least safe way to bed share. If baby is sick, or parents are exhausted, or you've had a drink, or are sitting up surrounded by pillows and you fall asleep accidentally with a baby dressed for sleeping in a cot then you have multiple risk factors that could have been taken care of if it had been planned for.

And there is no evidence that it increases the likelihood of SIDS when done safely. To clarify, I am talking about SAFE cosleeping.

I'm firmly against it. I wish my 3 year old would feck off back to his own bed rather than spend all night weeing flailing around in my bed and stealing my duvet.

Crib death first and foremost. I personally did not because I'd never get any sleep if I did even if I wasn't afraid of crib death. Which I am.

Converting a cot sounds like it would be safe. We didn't have room for a cot at the side of our bed so that wasn't an option for us.

Interesting that Japan has a lower instance of SIDS than the UK, and yet it's the norm for people to co-sleep there. The stats are skewed because falling asleep on the sofa is counted as co-sleeping, alongside co-sleeping in line with all of the safety guidelines. I'm not at all convinced that, if you co-sleep sensibly, it is any riskier than putting a child to sleep in a cot.

I never even considered co-sleeping because of all the risks (smothering, over-heating etc). Also, I am such a light sleeper that I would have woken up at every snuffle and fidget. I also do sort of believe the 'rod for your own back' theory. Just my opinion.

I'm very lucky that both my DC self soothed (DD with dummy, DS without) pretty early on. They both hated being picked up when they were tired, and used to scream blue murder if they were disturbed. Like noblegiraffe, getting up to feed and pit straight back down in their own room meant we all got more sleep.

However, I do see why some people who aren't so lucky with sleep may have to/want to co-sleep. Its a very emotive subject on here. Similarly, some of those that choose to co-sleep seem to relish making parents who sleep seperately feel awful for 'abandoning' their child which is unnecessary.

Each to their own. Its not about one style vs another.