To wonder why people are so often against co sleeping?

[pigluscious]

Maybe I'm a silly lentil weaving hippy, but I really don't understand why people are so obsessed with getting little babies to sleep on their own, and to settle themselves. What on earth is wrong with rocking/feeding to sleep and then tucking your child in (following all the safety advice) next to you?
AIBU?

FFS I think you're on a wind up now op

Everyone has given their own reasons and you are banging on like a martyr and can't possible see that yours is the only way. Your dd is only 4months old and you are preaching to people who have been there, done that and come through the other side with happy, sleeping children who are well adjusted, contented and perfectly fine sleeping in their own beds.

For me, I find it odd that anyone wouldn't co-sleep. It's alien to me to put a child I've carried inside me for nine months away from me. But I do say that as a pretty hippy, attachment-parenting kind of person.

AND, I was a single mother from when DD was born, so didn't have to worry about having someone else to worry about, or sleep with, or anything like that thank god

With you thererabbit its the ridiculious competitiveness people express either way. All 'look at how well my baby sleps on there own' or ' how wonderful and close we are'.

^ What Rabbit and Fly said. Some of the animals of MN speak sense

Why is it something you need to understand so much OP? People parent differently, it doesn't matter.

Why don't you do what is best for you and leave other people to do what is best for them.

"For me, I find it odd that anyone wouldn't co-sleep"

I don't. I like my own space. I had been used to it for over 40 years before DD came along. I tried co-sleeping but couldn't sleep, so DD went into the cot in our bedroom, end of.

What BobTheFly said is exactly right.

Like a lot of other parents I am secure it the fact that by not co-sleeping, I haven't neglected my children. You are perfectly entitled to your own choices and opinions but you need to accept that other people do things differently.
Co-sleeping, (or using any other parenting technique) doesn't make you as superior as your tone implies.

YANBU to decide co sleeping is what works for you, but YABU to think because it suits you and your baby everyone should do it

Just this. Exactly this.

DD was formula fed, with the immense - to me -bonuses that I had the option to get some time to myself and know that she was still fed. DP or my mum could do a night feed. I could go out for a few drinks or dinner with a friend and start to feel a bit more like the old me again. I could have the occasional lay-in.

This worked for me. A tiny little part of me thinks - why wouldn't other mums try and get their baby to take a bottle of expressed milk, because then someone else can do a night feed, because then they might be able to go out for a few hours, or get some more sleep?

But I don't actually think that. I think it worked in my situation. I might suggest it if a poster said they were struggling and needed the odd bit of time away from their baby, but I certainly wouldn't come online and say that I cannot understand why someone would consider it.

The benefits of one thing, for one person, are not the same for another person.

The only reason one that had any interesting sleeping with me as a newborn was ds4. Some just arnt bothered where they sleep

What I struggle with is understanding how people can fail to understand that other people might want to do it differently to them. People, and babies are not all the same. I wouldn't choose co sleeping, but I have no trouble accepting that for lots of people it works really well.

Reason? I really need to go back to using my phone!

I didn't plan to but both mine were shocking sleepers and it was the only way anyone in our house was getting any sleep. Both of them hated the cot, no idea why.

Scared the living jeffing daylights out of me, that's why not.
If you can do it without being scared of crushing your baby, go right ahead I guess.

Exactly Thurlow.

I did co sleeping once.I hated it as did my dc.They are even keen to trot back to their own beds if in with me when ill.

Why do my dc and I have to like it exactly?

God so many reasons-
Risk of SIDS and suffocation
Lack of space for a side cot
Found was a very Light sleeper with every movement waking me up when DS was still in Moses
Child becoming dependent on it and not being able to get them in their own bed

I co-slept bits of most nights with my BFing DD2. Feeding her and sleeping with her for a for a couple of hours until she wriggled and happily went back to her bedside crib/cot in her own room when older.

FF DD1 hated co-sleeping she just squirmed and no one got any sleep.

As for SIDS I think the publicity around a tiny increase in a tiny risk, has been utterly ridiculous and the charities ought to be ashamed of themselves.

The guilt, misery, worry and sleep deprivation caused to parents by making parents afraid to co-sleep far out ways any benefits.

I have a suspicion that the risk of a sleep deprived parent being in a road accident far out weighs the risk of co-sleeping.

I loved Co sleeping with my two. I think I did it perfectly safely, they were in a cot next to the bed, I went without pillows, we each had our own sleeping bag and dh has his own room. It allowed me to get enough sleep while breastfeeding. I enjoyed the closeness and the cuddles.I think iI slept better when they were with me.

I would think it weird if dd doesn't Co sleep if and when she has a baby. I think she would be missing out on a lovely experience.

I co-slept, but not till my first baby was several months old and started waking hourly. I tried it one night in desperation, it worked brilliantly and we just went on from there.

It was always more a case of them being asleep on the bed next to me than actually in it with me, though. So them in a grobag, no pillows at all on their side, bedguard (actually cot side) on the far side, me between them and dh, no duvet anywhere near them, good quality mattress and proper mattress cover, clean sheets, plenty of space around them. It was always brilliant when they were ill, to be so close to them to keep an eye on them all through the night.

With later dc I started off expecting to co-sleep at some point, but with a bedside cot to widen the bed, and when they were newborns that's always where they went back into. As they got bigger they spent more of each night on the main bed next to me, with feeds happening with me lying down.

Even without co-sleeping at first, it was miles easier to put them back into that bedside cot after a night feed than it was to have to stand up and take a newborn back to a cot across the room or reach across a gap to a moses basket. It also felt so much safer doing that as it was easier - I felt there was much more of a risk of a baby being suffocated or dropped thanks to me falling asleep unintentionally with them in my arms than there ever was of them suffocating lying next to me on the main bed.

Once we started cosleeping it was a relief to stop finding myself jolting awake horrified some time after the end of a feed with a baby slipping down or off the side of my lap. For that reason - and the breathing regulation thing - co-sleeping ended up honestly seeming like the safer option to me.

We co-slept with DS2. It took more than 2 years for us to realise that he wasn't keeping us awake- we were all keeping each other awake. I weaned him at 27 months, put him in his own bed in his own room and haven't seen him since .

Totally agree trice - it worked well for me and was an absolutely blissful time.
I miss those little knees tucked into my tummy .

Again, hate to harp on about it, but what did people do in he olden, prehistoric days? For thousands and thousands of years we didn't have cots and separate rooms, and human beings lived to tell the story.

I was terrified of the risks with DC1 and so didn't do it, even though he was EBF.

When DC2 arrived, and because the age gap was so small and I was catatonic with lack of sleep, I tried it, and it helped so, so much.

I found night time feeds tough enough, but the worst part by far, was not the feeding itself but the resettling to sleep after the wam, cosy feed. Hideous for everyone concerned. And so I tried co-sleeping with DC2.

Instinctively, it felt like a right thing to do with a tiny baby, and I feel bad that I ignored those instincts with DC1.

I'm not saying that everyone should do it, by any means - I golly get that it doesn't feel right for some people, and if you're bottle feeding it probably isn't as easy anyway.

However, I do take issue with the scare tactics around it, the very dodgy research that surrounds it - the painting of it as some sort of deviant, non-mainstream act that is inherently risky.

I cant understand it either,all 5 of mine have been in bed with us,the first two it was just occasionally or part way through the night,the other 3 were in frm birth and i never bothered buying a cot or anything.

Lying snuggled up with my baby in my arms,and waking up to her lovely gummy smile,is literally my favourite thing in the world.