To wonder why people are so often against co sleeping?

[pigluscious]

Maybe I'm a silly lentil weaving hippy, but I really don't understand why people are so obsessed with getting little babies to sleep on their own, and to settle themselves. What on earth is wrong with rocking/feeding to sleep and then tucking your child in (following all the safety advice) next to you?
AIBU?

I also think babies in their 4th trimester/first few months of life just crave physical contact with their primary care-giver.

However, many primary care-givers are totally unprepared for it, and find that unrelenting physical closeness completely overwhelming.

That dichotomy is massive design flaw, really...

I was initially put off by any debate that there was even a tiny associated risk but in the end we did it to save me from insanity. Followed all the guidelines and it felt right for all of us.

I am overweight and my husband is a very heavy sleeper, both of which factored in to why we didn't co-sleep. Our kids were happy to sleep on their own from a young age.

I was against it until putting her in the bed next to me in the afternoon allowed us both a 2-3 hour nap. I put mine in a boppy pillow though so I can't roll over on her (I also sleep very lightly in daylight). I don't do it at night with the hubby in bed though because I'm afraid of rolling on her/over heating her. She also sleeps about 4-5 hours at a time on her own at night. But I see nothing wrong with doing what you need to in order to catch some Zzz's as long as you're smart about it.

Lots of money to be made in the west from cots, mose baskets, fancy rocking chairs etc. Less attuned if you dont bf and theres all the bottles and pumps etc. If you co sleep from the start you need none of that which isnt good for business.

I co-slept from when DD was newborn (I'd read 'Three in a Bed' whilst pregnant).

From all the information I've read, SAFE co-sleeping has the lowest incidence of SIDS. Essentially, co-sleeping is safe IF the mother is breastfeeding, sleeping in a bed, not taking any medication that would make her sleep more heavily and not drinking alcohol or smoking. Studies have shown that breastfeeding mothers don't enter the same deep sleep cycles as other women - they sleep lightly and are more in tune with their baby.

As soon as any of the factors above alter - i.e. the baby is formula fed or the mother smokes, then co-sleeping can be dangerous.

Unfortunately, the UK studies do not appear to take these variables into account and so guidance against co-sleeping has been issued.

I'm sure some cave babies probably were rolled over on and suffocated (as some kittens, piglets and puppies are, from time to time).

That doesn't mean that it's not natural to do it. We're just more aware of the potential risks than other animals.

Putting babies into cots (I did it myself with DC1, so no axe to grind) just doesn't inherently seem like a logical thing to do, from any standpoint other than teaching them how to sleep alone long-term, and ensuring the parent gets more sleep (which is a totally valid reason).

Get a co sleeper! No need for any risks...best of all worlds...and you get more sleep!

I co slept safely. Still do, dd is 2, we love it.

I'm with Retropear.
Couldn't be doing with sleeping with children.

Mine are now 17 and 15 and it would not have occurred to me to do it.
They were in own room at 4 weeks (until then I'd slept in same room). Always tucked up in bed by 6.30.

I would have become insane otherwise.

I'm very anti but still find myself doing it with DD age 8 and DS age 7.

We will survive! They will not be doing this when they are 13!

Because if your LO can and will settle on their own, in their own bed, best to get them doing it asap imo.

And as much as it is disputed on here that one cannot make a rod for ones own back, the number of threads on here about babies, toddlers and children who either cant or wont settle alone and the OP is at their wits end beg to differ.

I'm sure what freckledleopard posts is correct. Personally I think that it's as much about the perceived long-term implications for sleep as it is about the SIDS risk. I think it's generally viewed as a bit of a 'short term gain for long term pain' scenario - i.e. your newborn/young baby will almost certainly settle to sleep more easily feeding/snuggled in bed with you BUT what happens six months/a year/three years down the line if that's the only way they will settle to sleep?

The OP asks 'what on earth is wrong with rocking/feeding to sleep and then tucking your child in next to you?' and the answer is, absolutely nothing. I don't think there is anything more gorgeous than cuddling and feeding a young baby to sleep, and then cosleeping safely with them. My memories of doing so with my babies are some of the most treasured ones I have. It only becomes a problem if cosleeping becomes a long-term thing that either one or both parents struggle with.

I honestly think that it's the perceived 'sleep problem' (you can ask any parent anywhere and they will probably 'know someone' who coslept and the child is still coming into their bed aged six etc etc) that creates the anti-cosleeping feelings, as much as the SIDS consideration.

I just didn't like the idea. I wouldn't have minded it so much with a small baby, I think, but the thought was always there that if you start sharing a bed with them, when do you move them to their own bed? Would that be harder? Would you end up not sharing a bed for the first few months, but for the first few years?

And like others, I could tell very quickly that I would prefer to have an hour or two to myself in the evening if I could, especially as I was on my own a lot in the evenings. I couldn't particularly have coped with having my baby with me all the time and going to bed at the same time as her, not when it became clear that we were fortunate enough to have a sleeper.

It's not a competition though, is it? If you want to or need to co-sleep, co-sleep. If you don't fancy it, don't do it.

Both mine were in their own beds by 18 months, and we have always had sex 3/4 times a week from when they were both a couple of weeks old.

m.bbc.co.uk/news/health-22594587

The most reent studies showed that taking all other factors (smoking, drinking etc) and taking all precautions, co sleeping is a massive SIDS risk, it's just not worth the risk ime.

I may be totally short sited, but I cannot understand why you wouldn't at least consider it if you can comply with the guidelines, and if your baby (like most babies) likes being close to you. It seems totally unreasonable (to me at least) to put an infant down to sleep somewhere they don't want to.

I'm not 'obsessed' with getting my baby to sleep alone but frankly I have enough shit going on without sitting feeding/rocking to sleep and then 'tucking your child in next to you'.

I know I'm probably being a bit thick but babies go to sleep much earlier than most adults. Where does that leave you?

Isn't it obvious? It's always associated with SIDS?

Whilst I can see the benefits it isn't for me, I'd be to scared to go sleep in fear of squashing them, my dp is also a hefty sleeper, either way I just wouldn't feel comfortable.

I don't understand why it bothers you. People make decisions that work for them and their family.

As long as child is fed and loved and cared for where baby sleeps (as long as they are warm and clean and comfortable) doesn't matter.

Baby fell asleep down stairs in moses basket, at bed time we took her upstairs and put her in co sleeper.

When a little older ( past 6 months) she goes straight in co sleeper next to us. at her bed time.

We have co-slept since DS was born and he is now 19mo. We really love it (and splashed out on a super king bed) and while we don't want him out, we have decided to move him into his own bed as we have another on the way who will be joining us.

We were in a 'low risk' group and decided it was right for us. In fact i couldn't contemplate being apart from him at all, i have slept apart from him about 5 times in his life, nd i barely slept. I don't know how i will when he goes into his own bed.