To put the neighbour's parcel out with the bins?

[RachelWatts]

As I'm a SAHM, I usually end up taking in the neighbour's parcels for them as I'm the only person who answered the door to the delivery company.

Most of the neighbours will call round later that day or the next for their stuff.

One chap, who lives about 5 doors away, never does. It's always too big or awkward for me to take round while also carrying DS2 or pushing his pushchair, especially knowing that I might have to lug it back again.

His latest parcel is flat, about 1 foot wide and 5 feet long. He apparently paid extra for next day delivery, but obviously doesn't want it that urgently as it's been in my house over a week.

I probably won't put it out with the bins, unless it's here another week, but won't be taking in any more parcels for him.

Does MN have a 'mad as a snake on horseback' smiley yet?

It's rude to knock unnecessarily, on someone's door. It's rude to show impatience and lack of trust for a parcel that should be and will be delivered.

It's not unnecessary if it's to pick up their own property!

Relieving me of a parcel I have signed up to deliver will not benefit me more than inconvenience me. It is rude and I will not take in a parcel again for you if you do.

Yes it will- you don't need to put your jacket on, shoes on, go down to the neighbours, see if they're in, hope their deranged cat doesn't jump out at you and so on! You just answer the door, give parcel, say you're welcome and shut the door.

If there was a shaking head smilie I would be using it. Starlight, you sound like hard work.

I have taken in your parcel. I will bring it round at the first opportunity. Knock and you may get a cross wet person unable to keep the towel around her nethers properly, holding a dirty nappy who might just squirt you in the eye with varruca gel.

So why sign for it, if i got a parcel delivered i wouldnt expect anyone to take it in who didn't want to or meeting some angry person when i went to collect it, i think i would go nuts along the lines of why the hell did you accept my delivery, i didn't ask you to and if its so much trouble why sign for it. If it went to the sorting office i could quite easily arrange a redelivery to my local post office or collect the next time i am in town. If you didn't accept they may try one of the other NDN who are quite happy to accept the delivery and you have prevented all of the above, Point is no one is asking you to accept the delivery so if you are unwilling to follow through dont sign for it

I am currently on maternity leave with my baby but our day is not so rigidly scheduled that I am unable to leave him for 1 minute to answer my door to hand a parcel over to one of my neighbours and if you Starlight are worried about being interrupted during bath time, put a note on your door stating 'bathing baby, please do not knock'. Far nicer than simply ignoring people.

I'd rather you didn't take in my parcel starlight if you were my neighbour, seeing as you appear to have a list of conditions no-one would know about.

If it's that much hassle just don't bother.

cunk shit, are you my neighbour? do you live in s place beginning with C? if so I am sorry and really appreciate you taking my parcels so I don't have to spend my whole Saturday trying to track them down at various god forsaken depots in places I have never heard of.

I work FT and so buy everything online, at least 2/3 parcels a week. some forward thinking companies deliver in the evening now (and I always put leave at door on delivery instructions), but my neighbours must get 1 or 2 a week (including a digital piano and sofa )

I have no problem with anyone saying no of it bothers them and collecting myself at the weekend, instead of this very English passive aggressive seething and inexplicable people like starlight

This thread has cheered me up on a cold, damp day! It's moments like this that make me love the internet - one person clinging with the utmost tenacity to a view that almost everybody else thinks is utter nonsense.

Starlight - can you confirm that all your neighbours know that you will deliver their parcel to them, and that you don't want them to come and knock for it?

Because if they don't know, and they come round for their parcel (because it is the generally-accepted convention that it IS rude to expect your neighbour to traipse out and deliver your parcel to you, as if you are too important to stir your arse out of your door to collect it), then it would be very unreasonable of you to label them rude, for obeying the conventions and not knowing your unusual rule!

I thank God I do not live next door to anyone with starlight's POV. Hurrah for my lovely, helpful, considerate, friendly neighbours!!

I have sat reading Starllights posts like this ---->

I am now grateful for my own, sane, normal parcel-taking NDNs!

To be fair to Starlight, she says she usually hands over the parcels she takes in on the same day, so her neighbours are actually getting a good deal on the whole. They probably don't realise that if it hadn't been convenient for her to do that, they could have been waiting for months until it was convenient again.

Amusing and confusing all at once :)

You sound unbelievably selfish, Starlight. You dont mind someone coming to your house to benefit you (light left on in car etc) which takes 30 seconds to open the door, quick chat. But when it is someone elses parcel which may be incredibly important then you dont have 30 seconds.

As a pp said, changing nappies or baby in bath then you ignore the door but otherwise i am sure you will have time.

I have 3 dc. Just turned 2 year old toddler, 6 yr old with SN and an older child (who funnily enough has verrucas). Tea time is extremely busy with tea, baths, homework, books etc but i can manage to answer the door to pass over a parcel.

No It is rude. It would never occur to me to be so rude and selfish as to disturb someone who has kindly taken on the responsibility for delivering my parcel. To do so is selfish, impatient, trust-lacking, demanding, self-centred, and just plain rude.

You don't have to take the parcel, so don't go whinging that your considerate neighbour hasn't come for it. That's extremely passive aggressive, especially if you then put it out with the bins. Just don't accept if ffs if it is that much trouble.

What happens if there is no card? Surely you'd have to mindread or see into the future or through doors to know for certain that the addressee even knows you HAVE a parcel?

If there is no card then the person who takes it in waits for a while, eventually gets pissed off with living with someone else's crap and takes it across.

The intended recipient says "ooh sorry, they didn't leave me a card". All is forgiven.

Clearly you have no respect at all for the differing opinions of MNers. We're all rude, selfish, impatient and trust-lacking. All of us.

Why don't you ask your friends if you ever let them in the house?

I'm the other way round.

I feel it incredibly rude and selfish to expect my neighbour, who has done me a massive favour by taking the delivery in and saving me the horrendous trip to the sorting office in the first place, to then have my parcel cluttering up their house and then deliver it to me like some unpaid skivvy.

I don't agree that they're taking responsibility for my parcel, they're just saving me a whole load of hassle by taking it in.

Fortunately we all seem to be quite sane with our parcel etiquette here, if we've got a card we go and retreive our parcels as soon as we get home. If that doesn't happen we would assume that no card was delivered and nip round to each other with parcels when we have a chance.

No one is considered rude or selfish, no one has unfathomable parcel rules and we all manage just fine

Does MN have a 'mad as a snake on horseback' smiley yet?

No, but I'll second the motion to campaign for one.

Having said that, Starlight, do you want to come round to mine for when the Jehovah's Witnesses/charity doorsteppers call? They'd think twice about coming round again if I set you on them.

Seriously though, how is anyone new supposed to know that you consider it rude for someone to knock on your door?

I always get quite excited when someone knocks on my door!

But Starlight you are being disturbed either way. Even if you choose the time to go and give the parcel, your evening is still disturbed!

If your neighbour comes to the door, you don't need to go to the bother of getting dressed to go out, making sure the DC are okay and running across with the parcel. They're saving you time and hassle!

This thread has really made me appreciate my sane neighbours !!

I'm confused starlight isn't the reason the delivery driver puts a note through the intended recipients door is to let them know where to pick their parcel up from?

I would be pissed right off if my neighbours sat there waiting for me to delivery their parcel, I expect them to come ASAP.

To be honest, if my neighbours were going to hold my parcel hostage due to some unfathomable Parcel Rule, I'd rather they just didn't take them in in the first place.

How do you know it's not something urgent that's required in a hurry

I ordered a fancy dress costume that my DD needed for a school play on next day before 1pm delivery as it was required for a performance that night. I then got a phone call from school to say my other DD had been sick and could I come and collect her. Of course, the delivery arrived in the 5 minute window I'd been out of the house. Fortunately my lovely neighbour took it in for me and gave it straight to me when I knocked for it.

I would have been stuffed and massively pissed off if she then held on to it due to some bizarre ritual, I'd rather she just not take it in then I can collect it from the sorting office myself

Luckily she doesn't subscribe to the same odd rules

Starlight, do you have your own little uniform and clip board and make the person sign for their parcel and have you considered changing your name to Sheldon Cooper?

Also, if I take a parcel in I do it as a kindness so the person doesn't have to traipse to a depot to get it. I don't then expect to have to go delivering the damned thing. Nor do I expect people to knock on my door at 10:30 at night and be shitty with me because I take a while to answer because I was in fucking bed. You may have guessed I no longer take in parcels for one of my neighbours.