To put the neighbour's parcel out with the bins?

[RachelWatts]

As I'm a SAHM, I usually end up taking in the neighbour's parcels for them as I'm the only person who answered the door to the delivery company.

Most of the neighbours will call round later that day or the next for their stuff.

One chap, who lives about 5 doors away, never does. It's always too big or awkward for me to take round while also carrying DS2 or pushing his pushchair, especially knowing that I might have to lug it back again.

His latest parcel is flat, about 1 foot wide and 5 feet long. He apparently paid extra for next day delivery, but obviously doesn't want it that urgently as it's been in my house over a week.

I probably won't put it out with the bins, unless it's here another week, but won't be taking in any more parcels for him.

*Right, I do you the favour, then have to take more of my precious time figuring out when you might be in, but of course you may decide it's not a convenient time for you to answer your door (because your time is very valuable), forcing me to perhaps repeat this several times, only for you to then arrange for a convenient time to deliver your parcel to you?

And you can't see why this isn't convenient? *

This - with bells on !!

But I don't understand how you knocking on their door is any different to them knocking on your door.
Are they not as likely to be cooking dinner, having a bath or whatever?
What if you knocked on their door to arrange a time, or drop the parcel over and they refused to answer the door (like you would) but then they came over and knocked on your door but as it wasn't at the 2 minutes in the day when you welcome visitors, you refused to answer? This could go on for days.

those of you not getting notes...do you remember filling in the "if not at home deliver to/leave parcel..." bit of the website you ordered it from? If you filled in that bit, then the courier would not be required to leave a note.

Why not? You still need to know that the parcel is with your NDN, in the green bin, at the depot, so that you can collect it.

Think you are on your own there Starlight

Normal etiquette is that you go round to remove your parcel from blocking up someone else's hallway, as soon as you get in.

OP I'd go with everyone on the first couple of pages, before this got sidetracked, who said to put a note thru the neighbour's door to say the parcel has been there 5 days - did he not know it had been delivered? But if it's a regular thing, then stop taking them in for him, and just take them for your nice neighbours.

I really don't understand your logic, Starlight, and if you were my neighbour I would never ever get you to take a parcel in for me!

When I was a WOHM my lovely neighbours would take in parcels for me. Quite often it was props and bits of costume bought of eBay, which I needed that same evening for various shows I was involved with - I would not have been able to wait for them to bring it around and quite frankly would have felt it extremely rude of me to sit on my arse and wait from them to bring it to me!

Conversely, now that they know I'm at home most days the delivery drivers will leave stuff with me for other houses. I always deliver it asap because I don't want it cluttering my hall...

If your not happy to take your neighbours parcels round or for them to come to your house to collect them then refuse the parcel instead of moaning about it, 'sorry i can't its inconvenient'

I haven't got a problem taking in parcels so i do, i would then drop it round, takes 2 mins, when i see they are home, if i couldn't carry it i would knock and ask them to collect. I haven't got a problem with people knocking on my door and i am struggling to work out why people dont answer their door as it takes a few seconds. I just don't find answering the door an inconvenience.

If i went to someones house to collect a parcel knowing they had it and they were in but not answeing the door i would then have to go back again till i got an answer and if i was told to come back tommorrow at 3 its not convenient i would then ask them why the hell they accepted and signed for delivery of my parcel, i didn't ask them to!

If said person had a parcel delivered to my house and i knocked and couldnt get an answer as it was not convenient i would be extremely annoyed and even more so if i went back a few times until they decided they were not too busy to answerer the door then they said sorry im busy i will be available to collect tommorrow if my schedule allows it, let me check my diary, im free at 2pm, is that ok, great thanks see you tommorrow

Rachelwatts - YANBU to be pissed off, YWBU to put it out with the bins though. Next time you're out, drop a note through his door telling him when it's convenient for him to collect it from you, or you'll be leaving it outside on YOUR step as it's too big for you to handle and it's clogging up your hallway. And then refuse to take any parcels in for him ever again.

Starlight - I agree with virtually everyone else - you're not being reasonable about this at all, just lazy. Go round and pick up your parcels. And if you don't want people knocking on your door then stop taking other people's parcels in; and get a notice put on your door to tell delivery companies that you only accept parcels for your own address, no one else's. They'll still ignore it but at least you'll be able to just point at it and not answer the door.

Yegods - if you think it's possible that they've stolen it, maybe try leaving a note suggesting that they might want to return it or contact you if they don't have it, before you go to the police? Depending on how good you are at confrontation, the value of the parcel, and how well you need to get on with your neighbours!

Not a delivery thing, but my Dad had some stuff at the local church from when he had been an officer there, left in a locked cupboard he had paid for with the agreement of the then minister. A new bloke came in, and a new committee member and they told Dad that he had to clear the cupboard. Didn't wait for him to do so, they broke it open (remember, Dad's property) and emptied it themselves, so when he came for it, it was gone. They then lied and said it had been given away (it was largely equipment and games) until he said he would be calling the police about the theft of his stuff - miraculously they "found" it and brought it all round to his house the following day, bar a few pairs of field glasses.

What I find odd about this conversation is the people who assume that their neighbours are asking the delivery people to leave parcels with them.
Generally you order something to your address and if you are not in then the delivery person will take it to the nearest house that will open their door. It's not that you are expecting that neighbour to take the parcel. When you order stuff you often have little communication with the delivery company until after they have delivered.

My NDN and I have a great arrangement. She doesn't work Thursdays so always pays for guaranteed day delivery on a Thursday which then invariably gets delivered every other day BUT Thursday. I work from home so take in her parcel, she knocks the same evening and exchanges the parcel for a bottle of wine.

Must cost a fortune in the extra postage costs plus the wine but I'm not complaining LOL!

I'm a bit wary about taking in parcels these days.

I'd always been happy to do it but a couple of Christmases ago a huge, heavy parcel was delivered for neighbours 3 doors down the lane. This was on Dec 22nd. They didn't call for it that night or the next morning so when I saw their car there that evening I went round to tell them, in case no card had been left.

She said they hadn't expected it to be delivered until after Christmas and didn't have room for it until Christmas was over. I was almost speechless with shock, she honestly thought it was ok for me to store this large parcel in my hall over Christmas.

I said that wasn't on and it needed to be collected now. She huffed and puffed and her DH eventually emerged from the living room to collect it.

I always refuse parcels for them now.

Bloody cheek.

In fact I find people who knock for theirs a tad rude and demanding. I have been kind enough to take it in, therefore they should be patient enough for me to find the time when I am available to converse with them on the subject of said parcel.

This is the complete opposite of the "accepted etiquette".

That's all very well starlight but you'd never get a parcel from me that way. Ds is a toddler and dh works away a lot. I'm not wrestling him into his shoes just before bath time to see neighbours after work or leaving him in the house alone.

I parcels near the door so I can literally just open the door, hand parcel over and close it again. No real effort on my part.

My neighbour brought round my birthing pool, though thank god because at 39 weeks pregnant I woul 't have been able to collect it anyway. It must have taken up his whole living room.

@ starlight. I would have been so unimpressed if I had a great big birthing pool hanging round and somebody was waiting for me to drop it off for them!

So why woukd you wait? Surely you'd want it gone? The person who has done the favour gets to say when parcel leaves IMO!

If you've already took it in, you can't bin it no matter how much of a cheeky shit he is or how annoying it is.

I have a rule with our six neighbours in the apartment block that I'll happily accept parcels under a certain size (tiny apartments/no space) and they can collect them anytime before Ds goes to bed (7:30pm). We are ground floor and often get buzzed first if someone's not in and sometimes even if they are because of lazy delivery drivers

IF they take the piss with it, I'd just stop accepting them as it is a small kindness and shouldn't be expected. I actually think it's better to have a pre-arranged mutual agreement than all the confusion and silent seething

Lugging a birthing pool to some lazy bugger's house is not a privilege.

Your neighbours must get so pissed off with you.

How is my taking parcels regularly to neighbours houses lazy?

I don't go demanding mine because it is rude. When I accept responsibility for a parcel I accept that I will be delivering. If you don't want to do that, don't accept the parcel. Waiting for someone to collect whilst fuming or muttering 'laziness' under your breath is ridiculous and passive-agressive.

I take in considerably more parcels than my neighbours.

Our posty frequently puts next door's letters through our door. Next door have a horrible dog, very barky jumpy etc and he bit a former postman once. If you go up their path (we have long paths and front gardens) their dog goes bonkers. It's horrible. He has never got out since the postman biting incident some years ago but if you don't like dogs, it's v scary. I think the (new) posty doesn't like dogs. BUT neither do I. I am getting monumentally pissed off with having to send DH round with their letters. They get a lot of magazines including the RT every week. This has been going on for over a month. We were away last week and when DH took round the huge bundle of mail the day after we came back they had a go at HIM! For not getting their RT when they should have done. I don't want to get the posty in trouble but...I think I'm going to report him because this has gone beyond a joke.

Starlight, it's like you are driving the wrong way down the motorway. Everyone else knows what you are doing is contrary to accepted practice but you refuse to accept it.

They have started hurling my parcels Over the back wall or leaving them in the green bin without a note! I only found one as I haooened to be putting something in it.

Might have already been said...

I work from home and since there are only 6 houses where we live I often take parcels in for neighbours.

I always insist that the delivery driver puts a note through the door of the recipient as to alert them that I have their parcel for them to collect.

My neighbours are very happy with this as they are very grateful I take them in.

I don't think it IS accepted practice. This thread isn't representative.

But even if it WAS accepted practice it doesn't mean it is right.

It is accepted practice and it is absolutely right. I cannot get my head round why anyone would think otherwise.