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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put the neighbour's parcel out with the bins?

217 replies

RachelWatts · 24/04/2014 13:09

As I'm a SAHM, I usually end up taking in the neighbour's parcels for them as I'm the only person who answered the door to the delivery company.

Most of the neighbours will call round later that day or the next for their stuff.

One chap, who lives about 5 doors away, never does. It's always too big or awkward for me to take round while also carrying DS2 or pushing his pushchair, especially knowing that I might have to lug it back again.

His latest parcel is flat, about 1 foot wide and 5 feet long. He apparently paid extra for next day delivery, but obviously doesn't want it that urgently as it's been in my house over a week.

I probably won't put it out with the bins, unless it's here another week, but won't be taking in any more parcels for him.

OP posts:
Catsize · 25/04/2014 08:50

Wondering if there could be a hew slogan...

Parcelforce (or whoever) - Bringing Neighbours Together.

HaroldLloyd · 25/04/2014 08:51

I don't deliver parcels starlight. That's ridiculous!

MrsNoodleHead · 25/04/2014 09:01

Starlight you are obviously determined to be right so I won't waste any more posts on this.

But even if you refuse to accept 99% of people in here telling you that your expectation is utterly unreasonable, consider the logic of what you are saying.

Having done a neighbour the favour of taking something in, if the recipient knocks on my door to collect it the only trouble I have to go to is opening the door and a quick chat.

In your scenario, I have to keep an eye out to work out when the recipient is home. Until I've done that I have the inconvenience of a hulking great birthing pool the parcel taking up my space. I then have to get shoes and coat on, and go down the road to deliver it, which as you say can be difficult if it's big or heavy. I take the chance that the neighbour doesn't open the door if they have precious time in the evening and having to bring it back.

On what planet is that preferable?

yegodsandlittlefishes · 25/04/2014 09:04

Update on my parcel: I got it back last night. The young couple who moved in work long hours and were just out a lot (I didn't go into why they didn't answer their door when both the cars were ourside...maybe they had walked to the pub in the rain.) Anyway, the lady I spoke to was nice and friendly and had no conplaints. We both apologised for how long it had taken (I hadn't called around every day, more like every other day/evening that we were home). But neither of us minded. It was nice to meet her and have a chat and say hello. I didn't want the first time I spoke to her to be any type of complaint, so am glad the parcel was just some books to use in a few weeks and not a last minute gift I'd not been able to send!

oldgrandmama · 25/04/2014 09:16

As I'm the old lady who's always at home, I take in parcels for ALL the neighbours ... except the rude, snotty women at No. *!

I've taken stuff in for them in the past. Postie/delivery man has left a note in their door and I've also left a note. I've also called round, and although there are lights on, music, they NEVER ANSWER THE BLOODY DOOR. Also, they totally blank the rest of the neighbours, slam the gate of the communal courtyard right in the face of anyone following them out. So, having once spent a WEEK trying to get them to pick up a parcel, now I just don't take anything in for them.

Delivery people know I'll always take in stuff for my other neighbours (seven households), who are all lovely. And they know now I won't take anything in for No. *.

CountessOfRule · 25/04/2014 09:24

Starlight's position assumes the intended recipient doesn't know that the parcel has been delivered; the consensus assumes they do.

I'm generally on the side of "your parcel, you go round to collect it at the soonest possible sociable opportunity, and use your Grown Up Manners to say thank-you".

But actually we and the NDN take parcels for each other all the time, to the extent that the postman doesn't bother doing a card any more, and we drop the parcel round at the next time when we notice they're in and we happen to be in a position to do so.

I would be decidedly unimpressed if someone rang my doorbell at prime "DC halfway to bed" time Hmm

minionmadness · 25/04/2014 09:33

No everyone is in the position to take parcels round to people.

My DH works away Monday to Friday and since one of dts's has ASD I would neither leave him on the house on his own or take him with me whilst I delivered down a country lane.

I would think that most don't collect as they don't know the parcel has been delivered to a neighbour, by asking the delivery driver to put a note through their door would solve this.

I expect that if did a poll of 100, most people would prefer a note for them to collect from neighbour as opposed to a note to collect from the sorting office.

No brainer really.

minionmadness · 25/04/2014 09:34

I say the above as someone who takes in lots of parcels and my neighbours are more than happy to collect them.

Forago · 25/04/2014 09:36

yes I do that too, if I take something for a neighbour I always ask the delivery men to confirm that they have or will be putting a note through the door to say it is at my number. Then I will leave it on the sideboard in the hall if small or in the garage if big until suchtime as they cone to collect it. I don't mind this at all but I work long hours and am very busy and when I am at home I want to just flop. no way would I go to the effort of then going out, taking children, carrying the parcel etc unless I hapenned to be going past, which is very unlikely as I drive everywhere. I really cannot see that the onus is not on the person to come and collect.

I don't see why people get their knickers in a twist either. if its not a pain and doesn't inconvenience you, take the parcel. if it does, say no. when I worked from home if I was on the phone I just wouldn't answer the door. or say no. if you've got easy access to a garage or pitch tho I can't see why you wouldn't help out a neighbour whose only crime was to be at work.

Walkacrossthesand · 25/04/2014 09:44

I guess we can lay some of the blame for 'lazy' delivery practices at the feet of the Great God Efficiency Targets. If the deliverer will struggle to complete their round during their shift, and they find recipient out, they don't know which NDN they're going to find in and accept the parcel - they'd then have to go back to the original house to drop in the card. I can see why they would just hope that the neighbours would let each other know. Maybe it would make more sense for them to have a card to give to the person they give the parcel to, to say in writing 'please let neighbour know you have this parcel for them' and the parcel is accepted on those terms?

Pumpkinpositive · 25/04/2014 09:47

I don't think it IS accepted practice. This thread isn't representative.

Oh, but it IS! Usually on AIBU you kind of see when posters are coming from even if you violently disagree with them.

I can't get my head around your reasoning at all.

As for this:

The person who has done the favour gets to say when parcel leaves IMO

No. Just no.

CarmineRose1978 · 25/04/2014 10:10

We went in the shed last night while doing a bit of garndeing and found a parcel in there - only from earlier this week, but still - no note pushed through the door or anything! And there's no access to our garden, unless you go through either of the neighbours' gardens, so either the delivery man climbed over their fence, or gave it to a neighbour, and he climbed over! Weird.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 25/04/2014 10:36

Starlight I would so utterly pissed off with you for not coming to collect your parcels!

I take a lot of parcels in because I'm at home a lot - people always come to get them. I always go and collect any of ours which have been taken in by someone else asap.

StarlightMcKenzie · 25/04/2014 10:55

It's not representative. The thread title means that only likeminded people would be attracted to it, instead of you know, normal people.

StarlightMcKenzie · 25/04/2014 10:57

If I take responsibility for the delivery of someone elses parcel, I follow through with that responsibility and make sure the person receives it asap.

I could not accept, and don't if I know I will be unable to deliver it.

StarlightMcKenzie · 25/04/2014 11:01

'the only trouble I have to go to is opening the door and a quick chat.'

That is enormous trouble for me. I cannot keep my eye of my kids for a quick chat. Most likely one of them or me is in the bath, treating a verruca, doing homework, mid-nappy-change, on hold to some service or other.

I have taken in your parcel. I will bring it round at the first opportunity. Knock and you may get a cross wet person unable to keep the towel around her nethers properly, holding a dirty nappy who might just squirt you in the eye with varruca gel.

ouryve · 25/04/2014 11:05

Just check they actually put a card through. He might not know that you have it. Drop and note through and ask him to pick it up himself.

And in future, check who the parcel's for - you can always decline.

StarlightMcKenzie · 25/04/2014 11:10

Just coz you lot obviously sit in full make-up in front of Jeremy Kyle with the volume low in anticipation of a knock so you can catch up on the local neighbourhood gossip..............

HaroldLloyd · 25/04/2014 11:10

Starlight you really shouldn't take parcels in if your going to get cross when people come to get them.

HaroldLloyd · 25/04/2014 11:13

My neighbour just brought me a parcel that came when I was at the supermarket, he even washed it as wine had splilled in has van.

Very nice.

HaroldLloyd · 25/04/2014 11:14

I wish starlight Grin

MrsNoodleHead · 25/04/2014 11:15

I accept that if the kids are in the bath or changing a nappy you ignore the doorbell. No big deal - certainly not an inconvenience. Simples.

But those moments are the exception not the rule. The rest of the time your kids won't spontaneously combust if you leave them for 30 seconds.

StarlightMcKenzie · 25/04/2014 11:15

They never come to get them. I have never except for twice in my whole life, had someone come and get a parcel.

But then I am a fast deliverer because I don't like them clogging up my hallway.

StarlightMcKenzie · 25/04/2014 11:16

It's the rule in my house. 7yr old with moderate ASD, 5 yr old, toddler.

It is almost NEVER a convenient time to knock on my door.

HaroldLloyd · 25/04/2014 11:20

I'm the opposite, I can't take them over I have two young children so it's not practical.

Good job we don't live on the same street ey!