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AIBU?

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Original poster

To put the neighbour's parcel out with the bins?

217 replies

RachelWatts · 24/04/2014 13:09

As I'm a SAHM, I usually end up taking in the neighbour's parcels for them as I'm the only person who answered the door to the delivery company.

Most of the neighbours will call round later that day or the next for their stuff.

One chap, who lives about 5 doors away, never does. It's always too big or awkward for me to take round while also carrying DS2 or pushing his pushchair, especially knowing that I might have to lug it back again.

His latest parcel is flat, about 1 foot wide and 5 feet long. He apparently paid extra for next day delivery, but obviously doesn't want it that urgently as it's been in my house over a week.

I probably won't put it out with the bins, unless it's here another week, but won't be taking in any more parcels for him.

OP posts:
SarcyMare · 24/04/2014 15:31

i have called up to find where my parcel was, and they gave me a complete fictional address and description.
so don't presume anything

Birdsighland · 24/04/2014 15:41

In the olden days, you knew who your neighbours were. I live in London and would only take a parcel in for one of my neighbours (who has taken a parcel in for me in the past). We had post erroneously delivered to our house for our neighbours on the other side. They didn't even grunt a thank you when we gave them the post. We wouldn't take any post or parcels for them now.

It's difficult. You want to help people out, but you are really taking responsibility for somebody else's belongings.

sassysally · 24/04/2014 16:22

The post/delivery people round here never (well hardly ever) leave a card.We would never know anything had been delivered unless the neighbours told us.

Noregretsatall · 24/04/2014 16:23

I sympathise op, I regularly take things in for neighbours who sometimes take days to 'get around' to collecting them. I really don't want large parcels cluttering up the hallway so dump them in the garage and forget about them just as the neighbours seem to have done.Confused

RedRoom · 24/04/2014 20:56

My neighbour came round tonight with a box that was delivered yesterday- no card was put through my door to say it was at a neighbour's. Maybe he doesn't know. Who doesn't want their parcels, after all?

If he does know and this bothers you, then refuse to sign for any more.

coldwater1 · 24/04/2014 21:09

Go and knock on the door when he is at home and tell him you have a parcel in your house if he'd like to come and collect it, that way you haven't got to carry it.

Mintyy · 24/04/2014 21:12

I say to the delivery people, very nicely indeed, that I don't take parcels in for my neighbours.

ilovepowerhoop · 24/04/2014 21:12

my neighbour took in a parcel for me today but no note was through my door. If I take one in I tend to take it to the neighbour when I see their car is back as they may not have had a note through their door either

StarlightMcKenzie · 24/04/2014 21:19

OMG, If someone had kindly taken in a parcel for me I would NEVER go round and collect it as that is a further intrusion on their time or disturb them again. I would wait patiently for a time convenient to them to bring it round.

Equally, if someone had knocked to deliver a parcel for a neighbour I would probably have to stop making lunch, feeding baby, hoovering, whatever and though I'd be happy to take in parcel in a neighbourly way, but mightily annoyed if they came around demanding it.

I'd deliver it later in the evening when they are likely to be in, or go and knock to tell them it is a convenient time to collect if I couldn't lift it.

ilovepowerhoop · 24/04/2014 21:26

of course you go and collect a parcel that has been delivered to a neighbour! Why should they have to come to you??

StarlightMcKenzie · 24/04/2014 21:28

I wouldn't. I really wouldn't. I feel terribly rude for knocking and would prefer to leave it up to their convenience.

StarlightMcKenzie · 24/04/2014 21:30

In fact I find people who knock for theirs a tad rude and demanding. I have been kind enough to take it in, therefore they should be patient enough for me to find the time when I am available to converse with them on the subject of said parcel.

CatchesTheNightTrain · 24/04/2014 21:30

That did make me chuckle a little Starlight.
I would happily take in parcels for my neighbours and would assume they would receive a card and come and collect when home. However I would also happily take it around to them if I saw they were home and hadn't yet came to me.

I find the expectation that someone helping you out by taking in your parcel , should then further deliver it to you a tad too much don't you think?

EBearhug · 24/04/2014 21:31

The post/delivery people round here never (well hardly ever) leave a card.
We nearly always get a card, which is why it wouldn't occur to me to ask if I hadn't had a card. I do expect to have to collect, though. I try and aim for a convenient time, i.e. not 10pm at night or something.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 24/04/2014 21:32

Really? If I take a parcel in, I expect you (generic you) to come and fetch it!

StarlightMcKenzie · 24/04/2014 21:33

People knocking on my door for whatever reason pisses me off. If it turns out to be a neighbours parcel then I'm happy to do a good deed but then if said neighbour also knocks on my door, - well Grrrrrrrrr!

FryOneFatManic · 24/04/2014 21:35

If someone has been good enough to take in a parcel for you, of course it's up to you to go and collect. It's rude not to.

I have a friend with a notice on her door that state that she does not take in parcels for any other addresses. She's still had drivers knocking and trying to get her to take them though. She just refuses unless the parcel if for her.

She did this because many of her neighbours were taking the piss over her being at home on maternity leave and in 2 cases were actively putting her address down as the delivery address because they worked FT. They didn't even have the courtesy to ask if it was okay.

Forago · 24/04/2014 21:38

If I took in someones parcel and a card was put through their door, I wouldn't dream of taking time out of my evening to take it round - I would think they were very rude if they did not come and ask for it!

Pipbin · 24/04/2014 21:38

In fact I find people who knock for theirs a tad rude and demanding. I have been kind enough to take it in, therefore they should be patient enough for me to find the time when I am available to converse with them on the subject of said parcel.

And how do you expect them to know that? I would never expect a neighbour to bring a parcel round. If I get a note through the door then I go to collect the moment I realise, unless it's late at night. I can't see that a knock on the door, and exchange of parcel takes up so much time and is such an inconvenience.

I agree with what others say, he may not know that you have it, I've had parcels left with neighbours with no note.

Neverknowingly · 24/04/2014 21:39

I completely agree with you Starlight although we are clearly in the minority!

StarlightMcKenzie · 24/04/2014 21:47

phew. I thought I was going crazy.

If you want me to be your parcel drop off point then that is fine but don't pester me for it. I'll bring it when I'm good and ready. Call before then and I probably won't answer the door anyway.

I won't be pestering you if you have my parcel either, but will happily collect if you ask me to.

Pipbin · 24/04/2014 22:03

But how can they ask you to collect it if you won't answer the door to anyone unless its at some predetermined time that is known only to you?

StarlightMcKenzie · 24/04/2014 22:05

I'd answer the door if they had been kind enough to take a parcel in that I knew about. To do otherwise would be rude.

dexter73 · 24/04/2014 22:06

I am confused now. I thought I was being good by coming straight around to your house to collect the parcel but it appears that that is not right and I should be waiting for you to bring it around as knocking on your door is (somehow) offensive. Can't get it right no matter what you do . . .

RiverTam · 24/04/2014 22:11

are you on your own - is there any reason why your DP could not take it round (or you could and DP look after DC)? Or that you could pop over to see if neighbour is in, at a time he's likely to be (after 6.30, for example) so he can come back and get it? He may not have got the note to say you have it.