To put the neighbour's parcel out with the bins?

[RachelWatts]

As I'm a SAHM, I usually end up taking in the neighbour's parcels for them as I'm the only person who answered the door to the delivery company.

Most of the neighbours will call round later that day or the next for their stuff.

One chap, who lives about 5 doors away, never does. It's always too big or awkward for me to take round while also carrying DS2 or pushing his pushchair, especially knowing that I might have to lug it back again.

His latest parcel is flat, about 1 foot wide and 5 feet long. He apparently paid extra for next day delivery, but obviously doesn't want it that urgently as it's been in my house over a week.

I probably won't put it out with the bins, unless it's here another week, but won't be taking in any more parcels for him.

You should be a fast collector too then.

Bored now. You carry on being rude to your neighbours, no skin off my nose.

Starlight, if you don't want people knocking on your door don't take in their parcels.

OP, he may well not know you've got the parcel. Someone fucking Hermes delivered my parcel to a neighbour recently because I wasn't in, but they didn't leave me a note. I only ever got it because I started to think 'That stuff I ordered from Gap's taking its time arriving' and chased it up. He'd had it for a few days when I went round apologetically. He was very nice about it though.

I would be very fast if it wasn't bloody rude to do that.

People DON'T knock on my door, except the parcel man and by then it seems silly not to take the parcel.

Starlight everyone I know waits for people to collect

Why do you take the parcels in in the first place? I work from home and am always getting requests to do this from postmen. I just say no - you're not obliged to take them in you know. Personally I've been really annoyed when my parcels have been left with other people as it means I then spend days trying to catch them when they're in, whereas if they refused delivery, I could re-arrange it at my convenience. It really irritates me as I've missed some important events (things I ordered as presents etc and then can't get). I also once lost a hamper - my neighbour took it in but the postman didn't leave a note for me. The supplier said it had been signed of and it wasn't until I saw the (empty) hamber by their bins that I realised what had happened.. Just stop taking in parcels. No isn't a hard word.

It's "bloody rude" to knock on a neighbour's door?!?

Oh yes, the sheer selfish audacity of ringing a doorbell. What awful people.

Neighbourly relations must be great on your street.

Starlight - in my opinion, it is more effort for me to take someone's parcel up the street to them than it is to open the door to them and hand them over.

Also, if someone doesn't come to collect their parcel, I feel that is disrespectful to me, because it implies that they think it is OK for their parcel to clutter up my hall, and that I should act as some sort of unpaid delivery person, to take the parcel to their house at their convenience.

IMO, the person taking in the parcel is doing the parcel's recipient a favour, and the recipient should do all they can to ensure that the person who has taken their parcel in, isn't put to any more inconvenience. I suspect that you are the exception, rather than the rule, in feeling that it is more of an inconvenience to answer the door than to take the parcel up the road to your neighbour.

Starlight just stop taking parcels in if you're planning to hold them to ransom until you have time to open the door. People generally need things that they order - how is it reasonable for you to decide that you are the Busiest Person On The Planet and therefore you're not going to give them up?

JUST DON'T TAKE THEM IN.

I can understand starlight's position. I bloody hate it when people come up my path and knock on my door.

Just don't take parcels then hec as if you do it's really very reasonable to expect someone to come and ask for them.

I don't understand why you'd take them in if it's such a problem that peoole knock the door.

I would give them up if someone came to collect but as I explained, I deliver and no-one comes to collect. If they did, they'd get them and sign them off as rude and refuse to do a favour for them again.

It's really really NOT rude to knock someone's door at all.

Heavens.

In that case herc don't take in other people's parcels, it's not obligatory. Don't take in parcels then get pissed off when people knock to collect them a la starlight because that's ridiculous.

Maybe you could brick up your door and exit the house through a firemans pole out back.

It's rude to disturb someone's peace when a little bit of patience or waiting for half an hour or so could avoid that. It's insensitive and rude.

It depends, Starlight - if all your neighbours know that you don't like people knocking on your door, and you will bring their parcel round as soon as you are free, then maybe it is a bit rude for them to knock, but if they don't know this, then, as most people (IMO) think it is rude not to pick up a parcel that a neighbour's taken in for you, then it wouldn't be fair to judge them as being rude.

I would rather you didn't take my parcel to be honest.

It does sound a bit like holding it to ransom. I keep them by the door and it takes 30 secs to hand them over.

I stopped taking in parcels for others. I write on delivery instructions for parcels not to be delivered to neighbours. It is not fair on me or them if delivery companies can't give you a set day for delivery, so you can be around.

It's not representative. The thread title means that only likeminded people would be attracted to it, instead of you know, normal people.

Your position is definitely not normal. I agree with the analogy someone made about you being the driver driving the wrong way down the motorway and saying "everyone's going the wrong way but me!"

However, a charitable reading of the situation says your neighbours know that you prefer to hand the items over than have them collected, and that you can be relied on to do so quickly.

This is not the norm and you should not judge any new neighbour who isn't instinctively tuned into your very tipsy turvy way of doing things.

"Disturbing the peace" is a bit much really. It's only a knock at thr door which you don't even have to answer.

Ehric I don't. I don't answer the door to the posty either. But DH does. I was just saying, I can empathise with Starlight's POV because I share her horror of having people take me unawares. If we (i.e. he) do take in a parcel though, we always take it round to the person it is intended for. Always. Anything is better than having someone rock up and disrupt a music lesson or similar.

I agree, Pumpkin It's a bit hard on Starlight's neighbours when they think they're doing the right, polite thing by going to collect their parcels, only to be judged very rude and finding that she won't take in any more parcels for them.

It's rude to disturb someone's peace when a little bit of patience or waiting for half an hour or so could avoid that. It's insensitive and rude.

But aren't you disturbing their peace when you bring the parcel back to them?

Starlight it would also be rude for someone to expect me to traipse around with the toddler and their parcel instead of getting off their own backside and coming to collect it. Presumably there are generally two adults in your house in the evening so its not a big deal to go out after bedtime?