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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask those of you who are pro life?

999 replies

Anonynony · 21/04/2014 14:49

How do you feel about friends who have had abortions? Can you maintain friendships with people who have had an abortion and no regrets?

One of my friends has stunned me, talking about another friend of ours who had considered an abortion and my friend said I'm so glad she didn't because I wouldn't have been able to stay friends with her
I'm really surprised, I'm extremely pro choice and vocal about it but this doesn't bother my friend.
But what my friend doesn't know is that I also had an abortion and although I have no regrets I feel a bit strange around my friend now?

OP posts:

candycoatedwaterdrops · 23/04/2014 15:44

I really cannot fathom how a woman in 2014 believes they have the right to tell another woman what she can do with their body. So, we force women to carry out the pregnancy; do we monitor what she eats? What she drinks? If she smokes or not? Where do we draw the line?

AnyaKnowIt · 23/04/2014 15:45

But it wasn't in this case was it? She was being poisoned by the dying fetus

LineRunner · 23/04/2014 15:45

See you later, Dawn. I admire you for standing up to the misogyny so articulately.

bumbleymummy · 23/04/2014 15:46

HopAlong, I don't need to defend my position. I am entitled to it regardless of what other people think.

the body, baby already knows the answer. she's been on this thread and the other thread too.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 23/04/2014 15:46

I can also assume that bumbley and sassy have no clue about mental health problems because the ramifications of forced birth will have a huge impact.

elliolli2 · 23/04/2014 15:46

Stottie that's awful - what kind of hospital puts a mother through that? I have had two terminations due to contraception failure but both of mine were by DNC as they were early. I cannot imagine what you must have felt going through that and to see your child lying there? Disgusting to have put you through that. As if the decision is not bad enough in itself.

Binkyresurrected · 23/04/2014 15:46

It wasn't a failure in duty of care, it was a major fuck up from start to finish. She was miscarrying, they decided to let her get on with it and ignored all the signs that she was in trouble. They failed to carry out proper checks, they failed to follow procedures for the miscarriage let alone anything else. THEY FAILED TO TREAT HER appropriately.

Because of the fucked up abortion laws in Ireland a woman died, she didn't need to die.

Why did you insist on reducing the severity of this case? Does it not sit well in your bubble that your beliefs and the beliefs of others contributed to the needless death of this woman?

ikeaismylocal · 23/04/2014 15:46

This is the first time I have engaged in any pro life/choice discussion and I am disgusted by the way most of you with extreme opinions put across your point of view.

My beliefs are tge same as tge huge majority of people but on tge thread I have been called a woman hater andwords have been put in my life like I think that woman should have no rights over her own body.

I think that the idea that rape victims and mothers with a fetus with server hhealth problems should be forced to continue with tgeir pregnancies is abhorrent but I also think the opinion that the mother should have the right to end the life of her fetus at 39 week's pregnant disgusting.

All this thread has made me do is think thank fuck mostof US live in sensible countries where abortion is legal but controlled.

bumbleymummy · 23/04/2014 15:47

And she could have been treated for that if they had picked up on it. They did not. Failure in their duty of care.

MaidOfStars · 23/04/2014 15:48

And do you agree with the premise that women should be allowed to choose abortion if they are at risk of serious and permanent damage to their physical health, as certified by two doctors?

Maid, no, that is not my opinion

So, indulge me (because I didn't offer an opinion for you to agree with or not, so again your answer isn't as obvious as it could be), to be absolutely clear on this point, you do not sanction an abortion even when the pregnancy/live birth presents a risk of serious and permanent physical injury to the woman?

thebodydoestricks · 23/04/2014 15:48

Remember baby and many of if us were on the last thread.

We have all asked you to answer yes or no!

should baby have been allowed a termination?

Go on you can do it. Try to answer just this once.

Binkyresurrected · 23/04/2014 15:49

They ignored the blatantly obvious test results, that's not just 'not picked up'

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 23/04/2014 15:49

Bumbly do you accept at least that the reason they so spectacularly failed to look after the poor woman was because of deeply held beliefs about abortion and the rights of the fetus? That if they had not stopped to consider the life of the fetus then she would most likely have been treated quicker and her chances would have improved?

AnyaKnowIt · 23/04/2014 15:49

If she had the abortion like she asked, she would not have needed treatment!

bumbleymummy · 23/04/2014 15:50

"ramifications of forced birth will have a huge impact"

And abortions never have an impact on mental health do they?

"ignored all the signs that she was in trouble. They failed to carry out proper checks, they failed to follow procedures for the miscarriage let alone anything else."

Yes they did. Mismanaged miscarriage and failure in duty of care, as I said earlier.

I don't think that in any way reduces the severity of the case.

MaidOfStars · 23/04/2014 15:50

Also, as a point of interest/knowledge, my Googling doesn't throw up any obvious examples of what constitutes grave/serious/permanent injury, that may allow abortion to proceed where it is legal to do so (Ground B in the UK, very low numbers). What kind of medical problems are we talking about here? Heart damage? Brain damage? Paralysis? Delaying cancer treatment? Am I in the ball park?

CaptChaos · 23/04/2014 15:51

I hope for the sake of consistency that the people who believe abortion should be allowed until term because "it's not a baby if it's not out" tell women who have had late miscarriages that they did not lose a baby, but a foetus.
Because if you consider that it is being wanted by your mother that makes you a human being instead of a bunch of cells, I find it really frightening.

No, but being wanted by the mother makes a difference in how she looks at it. Which is the most important thing. If you're not a misogynistic twat.

Binkyresurrected · 23/04/2014 15:53

I'm building a brick wall, does anyone want to join me in a bit of head banging?

Have you actually read the report in to her death and I mean read it not just picked out the highlights that suit your point of view?

stottiecakes · 23/04/2014 15:53

elliolli2 when i was 16 weeks and seen what i saw that was a miscarriage not a termination. I went to hospital with pains and bleeding, i had already had 2 miscarriages so knew what was happening. They went for pads etc and it just happened so fast no one was there and i looked down, i was kept in for 3 days with low blood pressure and complications. The termination i was only 5 weeks and at home.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 23/04/2014 15:53

bumbley So because making a choice may cause MH problems, we will take away the choice. You have laughable logic!

AnyaKnowIt · 23/04/2014 15:53

I support late term abortion. Didn't stop me from mourning the loss of a 30 stillborn

bumbleymummy · 23/04/2014 15:53

Maid, no, I have said before that I only think it is acceptable in situations where the mother's life is at risk and I think they should make every effort to preserve both lives.

the body, it's been answered on that thread and this. You know the answer already. Why are you asking again?

bumbleymummy · 23/04/2014 15:54

Yes, Binky. I have.

elliolli2 · 23/04/2014 15:54

ikea brilliantly put and ditto!

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