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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask those of you who are pro life?

999 replies

Anonynony · 21/04/2014 14:49

How do you feel about friends who have had abortions? Can you maintain friendships with people who have had an abortion and no regrets?

One of my friends has stunned me, talking about another friend of ours who had considered an abortion and my friend said I'm so glad she didn't because I wouldn't have been able to stay friends with her Shock
I'm really surprised, I'm extremely pro choice and vocal about it but this doesn't bother my friend.
But what my friend doesn't know is that I also had an abortion and although I have no regrets I feel a bit strange around my friend now?

OP posts:
twofingerstoGideon · 23/04/2014 15:12

two fingers - baby used the word 'enlightened'. See, any excuse to have a go.
I apologise, bumbley. I wasn't aware of that. I just thought it sounded very inappropriate. It was not an 'excuse to have a go.'

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 23/04/2014 15:13

Can you imagine being pregnant, and being told that continuing that pregnancy would you leave you with injuries and low level pain for the rest of your life. You want to terminate the pregnancy, but a court rules that you wont be in enough pain, or be disabled enough so you can't have a termination. Now imagine looking at that child every day for the rest of your life. I wouldn't want to be the woman, or the child.

Or an adult finding out I had been placed for adoption because a court ruled I had to be born, and that I had permanently injured my mother and she had suffered her whole life as a result.

Is that what you want sally?

stottiecakes · 23/04/2014 15:13

I don't understand how anyone can say what they would do on a situation they are not it. How do you know what you would do unless its happening to you and your pregnancy. Saying that i used to be one of those who would say i would never have an abortion, i don't agree with abortions..... until i choose to have one. No one knows anyone elses state of mind or how an unwanted pregancy is affecting their mental health. A wanted planned pregnancy massively affected my mental health for 9 month's so i can only imagine with horror what making someone carry on with an unwanted pregnancy would do to their mental health and the people around them.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 23/04/2014 15:14

I don't want my tax money being wasted on a court case to decide if a woman is allowed choice over her own body.

bumbleymummy · 23/04/2014 15:15

LtEVe, they could have treated her if her life was at risk, even if it jeopardised the life of the foetus.

the body,

"sassy it's their approach?

What is? To ask someone's opinion? "

wow, what an excellent example of taking a quote out of context. The next line should have cleared it up for you "They frequently resort to name calling and personal insults on these threads."

ellioli, look at the title of the thread. It should be obvious what some people's opinions about abortion were going to be here.

basgetti · 23/04/2014 15:16

Court? So a judge has the right to end the life of a foetus but the woman carrying it doesn't? But only if her reason is 'worthy' enough. And yet still the denials about punishing women.

elliolli2 · 23/04/2014 15:17

sassy how on earth could a Court realistically be involved in such a process. What a completely unrealistic view point and Binky what a fabulous response.

thebodydoestricks · 23/04/2014 15:21

javotte a normal humane person will listen to and be guided by the pregnant person and therefore support her in the best way she needs, be that bereavement support following the delivery of a dead baby or helping her to a safe abortion.

The difference is listening and supporting the mother.

sassy what special abortion courts? Actually speechless at that one. Are you drunk?

Ah Binky my old friend.

i apologise unreservedly for thinking you said enlighten

can you now answer baby's question

Go on try. Just try to answer straight yes or no.

should baby have been allowed to terminate her pregnancy

gordyslovesheep · 23/04/2014 15:22

yes why should a silly woman have a say ...she should stick to embroidery and kittens and let the courts have total control over her body Hmm

twofingerstoGideon · 23/04/2014 15:22

A court? Jesus wept. Presumably via the circumlocuation office.

The heartlessness of forced-birthers never fails to astound me.

elliolli2 · 23/04/2014 15:22

bumble my point exactly. The purpose of this thread was because Anony was shocked her friend would cut someone out for having a termination. So why do you stay here to continue reading threads that support termination when you obviously do not agree? If it bothers you so much then do not get involved. You are entitled to your opinion but you do not have to try and enforce it on the rest of us!

bumbleymummy · 23/04/2014 15:23

thank you for the apology twofingerstoGideon.

gordy "how can you use it to argue that the whole adoption service needs overhauling "

I didn't Hmm

My original post was addressed to different name - you just jumped into the middle of it and jumped to conclusions about it being my story. I did point out to you that it wasn't my story a few times. Go back and read it.

"you also seem to see nothing wrong in people who reject disabled or older children being allowed to adopt the perfect babies of women forced to birth"

eh?

"I know people adopted in the in the 1960's and 70's by 'good families' who suffered awful abuse"

There are plenty of children who suffer abuse regardless of whether or not they are adopted. All of it is wrong. Do you not think any improvements have been made since the 60s and 70s?

Binkyresurrected · 23/04/2014 15:23

Can you imagine what would happen to a woman if she had to stand there and plead her case for a termination. It would work so well wouldn't it, full and detailed analysis of their sex lives, what they were wearing, what contraception they take, did they 'deserve' it.
Just another way of reminding women about their place in the world.

Fucking frightening.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 23/04/2014 15:24

bumbley please give a straight answer to thebodys last question?

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 23/04/2014 15:25

Not to mention the basic presumption that women are unable to make decisions about their own medical care without the authority of a court. Small and wedge?

thebodydoestricks · 23/04/2014 15:26

Binky I was just about to post what were you wearing when you got up the duff young woman

Jesus wept.

Binkyresurrected · 23/04/2014 15:27

How was your pelvis tilted when he ejaculated?

thebodydoestricks · 23/04/2014 15:27

bumbly I apologised.

Come on answer babys question.

Dawndonnaagain · 23/04/2014 15:27

Can you imagine what would happen to a woman if she had to stand there and plead her case for a termination. It would work so well wouldn't it, full and detailed analysis of their sex lives, what they were wearing, what contraception they take, did they 'deserve' it.
Would anyone have the father there, ask what he was wearing, how many women he'd slept with?
Nope.

thebodydoestricks · 23/04/2014 15:28

were you using one method of contraception or too

stottiecakes · 23/04/2014 15:28

javotte i had a miscarriage at 7 weeks, 12 weeks and 16 weeks, all planned pregnancies and before i suffered antenatal depression with my 3rd DD's pregnancy. I terminated an unwanted, unplanned pregnancy after having 3 miscarriages and 3 children. I seen the foetus i miscarried at 16 weeks alone on a trolley in a&e. Why would anyone say that to a woman who has miscarried? i would hope no one who took the difficult decision to terminate a pregnancy would be told they had murdered their baby but they are

LtEveDallas · 23/04/2014 15:29

LtEVe, they could have treated her if her life was at risk, even if it jeopardised the life of the foetus

Well yes Bumbley, they could have. But they didn't. If they had given her a D&C when she asked for it (how an abortion would have been performed) then Savita would NOT have died. The foetus would have died, 2 days earlier than it did, but Savita would have lived.

But simply because Savita wasn't dying on the day she asked for the abortion (2 days before she DID die) they wouldn't do as she asked.

Savita KNEW her own body. She KNEW her foetus was dying. She KNEW she was in pain. She KNEW she wanted an abortion - both to stop the pain and to speed up the inevitable loss.

But she was denied that request. Denied that CHOICE.

AnyaKnowIt · 23/04/2014 15:29

How would the forced birthers feel if/when a woman who was refused an abortion dies or suffers a birth injury?

Binkyresurrected · 23/04/2014 15:30

Not a chance Dawn. Its all down to the wimmin, men can't help themselves, its their animal instincts to reproduce, you can't deny them.

bumbleymummy · 23/04/2014 15:30

ellioli - the thread title is requesting the opinion of pro-lifers. If people find pro-life opinions offensive to read then they would know that this isn't the thread for them.

thank you for the apology the body. I shall take that as sincere, despite its undertones. I have already answered baby's questions. Unless you are talking about the one where she asked me to explain my opinion and I explained why I wasn't willing to do it on this thread. That hasn't changed and your attitude has certainly contributed to that. Re the termination quetsion - that is a new one of yours that has also already been answered - on this one and the last one you were on. I know you are capable of reading and I know you know the answer already so why are you asking again? What is the obsession with asking questions that have already been answered and demanding yes or no responses. Hmm