To ask those of you who are pro life?

[Anonynony]

How do you feel about friends who have had abortions? Can you maintain friendships with people who have had an abortion and no regrets?

One of my friends has stunned me, talking about another friend of ours who had considered an abortion and my friend said I'm so glad she didn't because I wouldn't have been able to stay friends with her
I'm really surprised, I'm extremely pro choice and vocal about it but this doesn't bother my friend.
But what my friend doesn't know is that I also had an abortion and although I have no regrets I feel a bit strange around my friend now?

I agree oefs, it's why I didn't use it and said anti abortion instead.

Anony, your friend's reaction shows that she is actually anti-choice.

With all the ridiculous blather about Chelsea Clinton just now, I'm pretty pissed off at the terms 'pro-life' and 'anti-abortion'. People can be in favour of life (duh!) and anti-abortion, while still advocating women's right to choose what happens in their own bodies.

Your friend doesn't believe we should have that choice.

I wouldn't begin to judge or criticise another woman's choice about her body.

I fully support a woman's right to choose to have/not have a child at any stage of her pregnancy.

When is it ok to treat a woman as incapable of deciding her own life choices.

I would never judge and if anything I would hope I would support a friend fully and lovingly.

I am 100% pro choice.

It is non of my business why a women had made the choice to end a pregnancy.

It's not me who is going to be pregnant for up to 43 weeks, it's not going to be me bringing up the baby until adulthood.

Are you going to tell your friend you had an abortion?

Sometimes people soften their stance when confronted with real life difficult decisions taken by people they know to be reasonable.

Measured in Regretals (the imperial unit of post-action sadness), how many does it take for a woman to still be friendship-worthy?

Depends on the circumstances. Most people think the stage of the pregnancy is relevant. I wouldn't want to be friends with that dim wit Josie whatever her name is who is about to terminate at 4.5 months but I am very good friends with someone who had an early termination because she was mentally ill at the time.

No cookie because although I'm not ashamed and don't regret it, I feel like it's mine and my exes private personal thing. I think the only circumstances I would share it is if somebody was going through a similar situation or needed support etc, it's not something I would throw out there not knowing what I'll get back.

I believe everyone must do what is right for them, and if you have not walked in their shoes then you can not possibly know what is right and wrong.

I personally would never have an abortion, but I would never judge anyone who chose to have one.

"It is possible to be both pro-life and pro-choice." Someone else tried to make this argument recently but it isn't really. I don't really see why someone would want to identify themselves as both anyway. Is there something wrong with calling yourself pro-choice?

I don't have a problem with 'anti-abortion' although I do think you should critique the term 'pro-choice' in the same way. Many women who call themselves 'pro-choice' actually apply conditions under which they think abortion is acceptable e.g.. the 24 week limit. Very few support the idea of a woman's right to choose abortion to term for any reason. What do you suggest we call the people who place conditions on when abortion is acceptable?

I know a few people IRL who have had abortion. I feel genuine sympathy for them because they regret their decision and one in particular was pretty much forced into hers. I think if I found out that a close friend had an abortion and didn't seem overly affected by it then I would probably feel differently about them. I don't think I would be friends with someone who was using abortion instead of contraception or having late term abortions because they're trying to get on Celebrity BB . I also don't think I could be friends with someone who thought it was ok for a woman to abort to term for any reason. I just find that too disturbing.

So because I'm not overly affected by it or emotionally scarred that makes my decision worse bumble?

Forget your friend not wanting be friends with you, if I had a friend who said something along those lines I would seriously reconsider our friendship ...?

Those you say they are pro life but don't mind what other women do are actually pro choice. You can choose not to have an abortion whereas the next woman may choose to have one. Thats the meaning of it being choice.
As I have posted before I live in Ireland and our archaic abortion laws have been in the news. Women forced to leave their families and country in pursuit of choice. Women from all walks of life. Scared teenagers, those struggling financially, career women, women carrying babies that will not live. In the pursuit of choice.

It would really depend on the reason.

I agree with Oeufs and other posters, the term pro-life is a MASSIVE misnomer and I detest it. The more accurate phrase is anti-abortion.

For the record I am 100% pro-choice.

friggin I'm in Ireland too and there's an early morning flight to Liverpool I've gotten a few times (with friends, for shopping etc) that always has a few poor girls white as ghosts, no luggage just a handbag etc, exactly the same as me when I went over. It makes me so sad and angry for them.

keepon I don't usually keep the company of anyone with such opposing views on this subject because I feelpm strongly about it myself but this friend is different, I've known her years and I'm pretty shocked as she would be quite liberal in other ways. I'm not hurt by her opinion, I suppose I just feel like a bit of a fraud or a hypocrite especially as I am so strong in my opinion on it.

Anonynony, I didn't say it makes anything 'worse' or 'better'. I just said if I found out that a close friend had one and didn't seem overly affected by it then I may feel differently about them.

BabyFaced - so if 100% pro-choice means that you support abortion to term for any reason then what are people who support the idea of abortion up to 24 weeks? 50%? 75%? I don't understand how people can object so strongly to one term being used when it is a misnomer but not another.

Bumbley - I'm not entering into a discussion with you. You upset me too much the last time and I will not be drawn into anything again.

Anon I accompanied a friend over, who had one at 19 weeks. She had to save the money so was quite far along by the time she got her stuff together. I know some people oppose the upper limits for abortion but for many Irish women it is those upper limits that are their hope.

The Irish law is preposterous and disgusting.

This thread won't end well.

Love to posters here who are in or have been in difficult and heartbreaking situations.

Baby take care here xx

What I don't understand is when some pro lifers say abortion is ok for some reasons. Either you believe a life is a life or you don't?

There's actually an amazing charity friggin, that help Irish women in that situation.
www.abortionsupport.org.uk/
They do so much from helping you out financially to meeting you if you have to get the ferry over which arrives in the middle of the night.

bumble I imagine those people are for legal abortion as it stands in the UK.

I agree with 5madthings - I couldn't be friends with someone who believed that women shouldn't have full bodily autonomy and control over their reproductive system.