To wonder where all the normal, single men are?

[Needsmorecake]

because, sure as hell, they are not within a 50 mile radius of me.

This comes off the back of being let down again. I was meant to have a date tomorrow, now i do not.

Lovely man, 40, deputy head of an ' outstanding school' Not only did he send me the most 'penisey' photo, where even in jogging bottoms his cock felt the need to make its presence known, but, after some internet reasearch, i found he had two facebook accounts, one of which he is only friends with very young, very naked, eastern women.

I cancelled the date, clearly he is nuts. However, this seems to be the case more often than not, and its so very very tiring.

Ive been single for 5.5 years, i dont want to remarry, but id just like someone, it seems so impossible.

Lots of them do seem to buy into the porn thing

I had a go at last nights messages, offering to lick my other ' whole' i asked him if that was ever a successful line? he told me i was over reacting and he was just messing and killing time. Yeah, right.

When i was a bit wet behind the ears with this dating thing, i had a date with someone who was really quite full on before we met, hadnt had a gf before, had a really good job, own house, seemed to have lots of friends. We had said date, i got home and found a text saying ' you should have jumped me' i replied and said that i wouldnt have done that, i had no idea how he felt, to which he replied that there was no spark for him but that he would have fucked me. Hes still on the dating sites....

I had one that just lied outright, we had a whole day date, didnt intend for it to be that way, but it just ended up so ( well, i suspect it was his plan all along) in the evening ended up at his with wine and a takeaway, hes going on about doing stuff with me tomorrow. one thing leads to another and we end up messing about. He stops short of full sex and tells me to my face, that sex is special and im only for messing about with.

and then there was the one who, when faced with me doggy style got all cross as he didnt know what do do and demanded i help him.

urgh.

but yeah, i think a lot of single men forget what real women are like, ive lost count of the number of times ive been asked if i shave or what i will ' do'. and then they are surprised when you stop replying to them, or cancel whatever plans you had with them.

And i cant stress enough, that this behavior doesnt come from the sort of men you might expect it more of, it comes from the ones you think are decent. It happens on paid sites just as much as free ones, whatever their class, or jobs or anything, nothing seems to make any difference.

I think men are very screwed up over sex. They don't seem to know what on earth to do but at the same time seem to think it has to be wild & kinky. They seem to think of it as both unimportant and just for fun as well as this special expression of love between lifelong partners (the last guy I went out with had great pleasure telling me he'd slept with over 100 women but at the same time thought it was true love between us the first time we did it!) I know it can be all of these things but they can seem to separate it or put it into context. They cheat and shag about on their "true love" and treat women they apparently really like as a piece of meat, and wonder why it turns us off and we walk away? The last few guys I've dated have been so bloody obvious, trying to grope me in public in front of my mother or child, giving me that "rapper checking out a ho" look and constantly making comments about wanting to fuck me or do some graphic act, can't they just give a discreet flash of their eyes or a subtle brush or their arm as they walk by, does it have to be a full on group and leer? They seem to have lost the art of subtle seduction and flirtation, everything is so lewd and crude and blatant.

Can't seem to separate it! not can!

I think the answer is there are incredibly few. Those who are normal are snapped up immediately they become single. Which leaves the others floating around on dating sites for all eternity, the male equivalent of tumbleweed!

It is refreshing to read a thread on here where not once yet it has been suggested that it's the woman's 'fault' (either for attracting these appalling excuses for men, or not finding a decent one).

I don't know what the answer is. My experience has been similar. Men either obsessed with sex (although when it comes down to it, pretty crap at the actual act in many cases, suggesting their experience is more of the virtual than real kind...) or with more issues than the Yellow Pages. It all makes me yearn for a simpler time when once you had 2 dates with someone they were your boyfriend, rather than this sort of half life, where you date for months on end only for them to say (after you've developed feelings for them, shagged them, etc) that they're actually not in the right place for a relationship despite 5 years of therapy and probably never will be .

I know someone who has been on 5 dates with a guy who lives 300 miles away. They go for dinner at a mutually convenient restaurant. They chat, laugh, but there is no bodily contact other than that he kisses her on the cheek as they part. She has already set herself a target of 6 months before she even tells him where she lives, let alone sleeps with him, because she feels this is the only way she can ensure he is a decent, relationship-minded guy. Maybe that's the way to go, but it depresses the hell out of me.

Like everyone on this thread, I have loads going for me. I get lots of attention from men, maybe not quite so much as I used to now I'm over 40, but I still do. But none of those men are the normal, seeking a relationship kind!

I met someone last year who seemed normal but once he had my mobile number....penis pictures ++, TELLING me what I would wear/do on our first date etc. I consider myself pretty open minded but honestly, he was depraved.

The worst texts were about forced bondage/s and m and other things I don't want to go into but the most ridiculous was about wanting me to dress up as a cat, with a tail and everything!. I shared his texts with my friends and we started to wind him up, suggesting how HE could dress up to arouse me (as if!).

The best ones we came up with were: Shetland pony; centipede, sloth and hammerhead shark.

I think he twigged and I didn't hear from him again but I like to think that he's somewhere, trying to fashion a hammerhead shark costume from everyday items.

The sad thing is that I have a lovely single male friend.
He can cook, bake cakes, is educated, lovely to talk to, good job and not bad looking.
I can't find him a lady friend!

I can't find him a lady friend!

Well there are a few candidates above. Can't you get them together?

I did online dating about ten years ago when it was in its infancy. I met some ok people but this was pre iPhones/cameras so no penis pictures.

I married a man I did meet online but one of the reasons we divorced was to do with porn. I guess it would have been the same problem even if we'd met in the pub.

Anyway I was about to go back online again but met up with my overweight baldy friend.... And yes dear reader I married him.

He had done online dating in the past and he has just confirmed he never sent any penis pictures!

I've never had a penis picture but I have to say I've never had much any interest when I've tried.

I generally get messages from men 20 years my senior!

Hmm this is all not making me very optimistic about my forays into the world of Online Dating.... I'm having trouble getting a date at the moment... they all seem very keen to message but that's all.

I'm 37 and really want children, can't afford to go it alone... but more than that I just want a nice boyfriend - is that too much to ask?!

thats all i want too, a nice boyfriend.

I had no idea it would be this hard and that decent men were so thin on the ground, no idea at all.

I was also very naive regarding dating and thought it was like it was back when i was 20, very much of the ' snog someone in the pub and then they are your boyfriend' type thing, which now its so far removed from, its almost laughable.

Needsmorecake why don't you PM pipbin and see if she can arrange something?

Sallying - I know blind dates can sometimes work but the odds of Needsmore and the pp's friend being in the same area of the country are slim, never mind having anything else in common!

I hate this about being single - that ANY man will do and be damn grateful!

Indeed.

i rejoined pof to see what would happen. I have had NO messages, its now got so bad, it seems, that even the dregs on pof cant even be bothered to send me a ' hay hunni' message.

i am quite likely past help

:)

Just back from a family easter thing, where i was, again, the only person on my own. My brother made a few jokes at my expense over it, which might be funny if it wasnt so painfully true.

@pinbin, where abouts in the country does this man happen to live... and how old is he?

The thing is that he has never show interest in ladies. I'm not convinced that he may not be 'on the other bus', IYKWIM.

Do you lot wait to be messaged? You'll only get the dross, cock-sending issue prone pricks that way. Be brave, start sending out messages to guys you fancy.

pipbin, ah, so while you say you know this lovely chap whos single, hes not actually interested in women at all. hmmm, kind of moot then huh.

phallic - yeah sure. Im not really the wallflower type. I almost never get responses to any messages i send though. I could send 25 and not get one back ( indeed that has happened). I dont think i look that bad, but clearly i must do.

heck, ive even asked guys on dates, ive arranged dates. Its never gone down well.

Good god, what sort of Neanderthal part of the country do you live? I've never done the online dating thing but it sounds bloody horrific.

By the sound of it I would give up temporarily and take some time out.

it is bloody horrific. I live in a ' naice' ish part, sort of rual.

Im always taking time out, because, well, its dire. But since i also dont meet men day to day, there always comes a point where i think i should do something, and give it a go again.

Well I'm sorry to hear it.

What is it with people sending photos of their penises? I wish I knew as my eldest has had trouble with this and I felt like killing the guys that sent them. Bloody disgusting and I don't think I'm being old fashioned for wondering wtf.

Sorry I can't help but really despair for my daughters if this is how men are turning out nowadays. I'm not much older than you (40) but feel a million miles away from the guys you (and my daughter) are coming across.

I think most people are shocked by the whole penis photo phenomenon. Its so outside the range of normal behaviour that people cannot fathom it.

Its also a misconception that its only young guys as i get it just as much from men older than me too.

i have recieved my first message ' im going to be honest, im just looking to hook up and you look like a good fuck, reply if you fancy it'

and a tiny bit more of my soul dies.

My profile has got nothing flirty, no sex references, my pics are just of my face. there is nothing to suggest thats what i would want.

I know it will just be a general message he will have sent to 100's women in the hope he will get a reply, but its just depressing and offensive.