To wonder where all the normal, single men are?

[Needsmorecake]

because, sure as hell, they are not within a 50 mile radius of me.

This comes off the back of being let down again. I was meant to have a date tomorrow, now i do not.

Lovely man, 40, deputy head of an ' outstanding school' Not only did he send me the most 'penisey' photo, where even in jogging bottoms his cock felt the need to make its presence known, but, after some internet reasearch, i found he had two facebook accounts, one of which he is only friends with very young, very naked, eastern women.

I cancelled the date, clearly he is nuts. However, this seems to be the case more often than not, and its so very very tiring.

Ive been single for 5.5 years, i dont want to remarry, but id just like someone, it seems so impossible.

FFS cold water in a hot water bottle.

Can you say where you are? I can babysit!

Howling at the hot water bottle man. That is truly horrific!!!

:) thank you.

I cant even be arsed at the moment,it takes too much energy with no reward so im going to upcycle some furniture instead.

But, this is really how it is, thats of course if you get to a date, if they dont vanish before hand, or prove to be totally weird. Then of course most of them vanish after the first date.

I had a first date a few years ago with a man so very boring, but, it kind of went ok, i would have seen him again to see if the second was any better, as he wasnt offensive in any way. I never heard from him ever again. Few years later he messages me on the same dating site, clearly from his messages he cant remember we have met. I humour him and then he asked me out, to which i reply that i cant see the point as if he didnt like me enough to see me again the first time, hes not going to the second. He remembers and comes back with ' yeah, but you werent wearing anything low cut and in one of your pics i can see a hint of cleavage, so want a proper look at your chebs.

48 years old people. WTF.

I just don't know what mothers of sons in my generation were doing! Why do none of them know how to wash, themselves or clothes! Why can they not cook, clean a house, hold down a job, pay their bills, why are they lazy slobs with no style or pride, why are they shit fathers and husbands, why do they all lie and cheat and none of them have any respect for women! How the hell were they brought up to turn out how they have??? If this one is a boy I swear to the future women of his generation, he will be raised to treat you with respect, he will be a real man, a great father, a decent person and reaponsible grown uo, and someone both you and I can be proud of!

OMG Needs!! That is what a 15 year old says, not a 48 year old! They've all been watching too many rap videos, they all seem to give you that pursed lips half closed eyes up and down head nodding look and think lewd comments about your body or what they want to do with it are compliments! And don't get me started on dick shots! What is it with these men and their obsession with taking photos of the least attractive part of them and sending it to women they barely know as if we'll see it a suddenly fall in love with them and want it in us right now?? Which one silly slapper did that once and the bloke told all his mates and now they all think that will work on the rest of us?? Men of the world - penises are ugly, I do not want to see it unless I am actually playing with it and even then it's a long shot, I will be more turned on by nice arms or a nice smile, lovely blue eyes, a pert bum perfectly framed in just tight enough jeans, I do not now or ever want a photo of your dick, ever!

i know, i have had more than any one person should.
Its so odd. You chat online, its all going well, after a few days you swap numbers and then BAM, theres a cock. no warning, just there.

WHY?

My heart instantly sinks when that happens, which is probably not what they intend to happen.

Needsmorecake you are lovely! If you can't find a decent man I can only assume you are right that they aren't around.
Have your female friends not recommended anyone? That way he will have been through some sort of screening. I met my lovely DP through mutual friends who arranged a date for us.

All my friends are married and only ever seem to socialise with other married couples. People keep saying divorce will happen but not to anyone I know!

I don't exactly MIND being single but a lot of stuff is just not accessible. You can't go out for a meal, a weekend away, or a holiday. You can't have children (I know a PP is going it alone but I don't think that's for me.) it's crap really!

Like the deputy head, Chatting for near on a week, then he sends me a picture. Its not full on naked penis. He is in joggers and a slim fitting t shirt. However, there is the bloody outline of a damn penis, and a definate poking out. cant be ignored, he cant be wearing them with it being like that all the time, its pretty indecent, which means he played with it and then posed, deliberately. WHY. i sent it to my friend, didnt say anthing, just said he had just sent me that. and she said ' eewwwww' so, it wasnt just me seeing it.
yuk yuk yuk

Me too Needs. I've had so many sent to me it's just wrong. I really had a go at one guy who text me a photo, not even on a PM on a website, a text, so it flashed up on my screen and was automatically saved in my gallery and on my cloud. I have a young daughter who regularly plays with my phone and if she hears it ding she'll often look at it to see who has text me and what they've said, she's always in my photo albums, what if she'd seen it??? I don't want to see that, I certainly don't want my 7 year old seeing her first willy as a photo of my boyfriend's on my phone! I have actually started losing it with these "men" now and telling them what I think of blokes who do that in no uncertain terms. It is so disrespectful.

blackcats- yeah, i dont mind it as such. im very used to it, i do really quite like my life, i enjoy it. but there are lots of things that arent quite the same when you do them on your own.

sally - none, everyone is with somone, noone knows anyone, i ask very few months. Next door set me up with a friend of a friend, and all he has done is perster me for late night dates and then last night he sent me a text about wanting to see me so he can go down on me and then try the other ' whole'

jesus wept.

Next door is horrified.

blackcat I go to restaurants, cinema, shows, holidays alone, or with my munchkin. I think it's an only child thing though, I'm quite happy going anywhere alone. I'll go to pubs and even a club alone and I'm quite happy just drinking my cokes, watching the world go by, enjoying the music, having a dance. I'm the one going it alone with this bump but that is because I did the married mother thing and I've never been more lonely and miserable and when I left him life was a million times easier and I realised it was having him around which made having a child hard work, when it was just us 2 we were both happier and a lot better off.

"I just don't know what mothers of sons in my generation were doing! ""
"with taking photos of the least attractive part of them and sending it to women they barely know as if we'll see it a suddenly fall in love with them and want it in us right now?? Which one silly slapper did that once and the bloke told all his mates and now they all think that will work on the rest of us??"

I would start with stop the blaming of other women for men's behaviour.

They are adults and are capable of taking responsibility and changing their behaviour.

It isn't the fault of any female that they have ever experienced "why they are like this", but this certainly is why they haven't got one in their life.

Yes, you can do things alone but (to me - I'm not saying it's the same for everyone) that would render it pointless.

I do go to the cinema alone, if there's something I really want to watch, but I wouldn't go to a restaurant alone. I had to last year (long story) and was treated like someone with a terminal illness by the staff

Birds sorry but I don't agree. I'm meeting men in their 40s, the way they behave they seem to think is perfectly normal and it's me who is a prude for not wanting dick shots or I'm a nag or boring for thinking they should get a job, take care of their kids, pull their weight round the house, or that I don't want to be treated like a blow up doll good for nothing but a shag. At their age they have had dealings with women previously, and have sent dick shots and been lazy round the house and out of work layabouts and been irresponsible with their kids so either no other woman had actually pulled them up on it, and they do seem to be shocked when I tell them off for dick shots, or they have been told 100 times yet are arrogant enough to think it's all women instead of them, in which case why we're they raised to be so arrogant and entitled?? Why are men never confident and with good self esteem these days, only arrogant and entitled. There's a big difference.

I don't think that's because of women, though.

It's because of how our society is set up. Even I can see it is obsessed with sex and with sexuality. Unfortunately, for some men, equality has been interpreted as 'the most vile things men do ... women want as well.'

Random, that's why they are single, because no woman wants what you describe.

There are obviously women who are up for such pictures, but they are honest about that's what they are about, they don't want relationships.

I have had FB's, sent dirty txts.

These men lie that they want a relationship when they don't.

That isn't anyone's fault but there own and buying into our increasing pornified culture, that they are buying into.

I have a non gender identifiable email.

I get ongoing emails from East EU etc young women offering anything I want (as a man!) for little in return.

These type of men then buy into that.

I don't blame these desperate women, but it is adding and increasing the disrespect towards all women, by some idiot men.

They do exist. But are bloody hard to find. I spent four years on POF. Flounces so many times. Went on awful dates - scammers, liars, married men, I have enough stories to write a book.

I came home from an awful date last August and logged on to delete my account again. And saw a profile I hadn't seen before and messaged on the off chance - what I would consider out my league, he had a child which would usually put me off (I have two but from experience of previous dating) and wasn't even witty. But he replied, and turned out to be amazing. Nine months on, he is normal in a lovely way. History and baggage dont get me wrong, but amazing.

Its bloody horrible dating. So so many frogs.

I've had FBs and text sex too, but it was with men I at least kind of knew or had at least met and we both made it very clear that was all we wanted and it wasn't a relationship. But when it's more than just sex and there are feelings involved or the "promise" of a future, why do they act like this? Why do they not see the difference between casual sex for fun, and a relationship which deserves respect? And to be honest even if it's only a FB or text sex I still don't want to see that! Yuck!!

After a few years on dating sites and singles nights I'm never doing that again. Any relationships I have in the future I have to know them first as a work colleague or friend and find out their freakishness before I get involved! At least then they would know me well enough to know dick shots, disrespectful behaviour and irresponsible immaturity will not be tolerated and hopefully won't bother trying!!!

you can not blame women for these men having no respect for women

sadly I know a few women who's standards have lowered because of the way some men have choosen to treat them, we can all have our confidence knocked and become jaded and there are as many desperate men as there are women. if someone thinks you are a prude so what it is what you think of yourself

I Internet dated a few years back, i felt uncomfortable with the whole thing. had some strange dates and some good ones but thankfully never sent cock pictures i would just not have responded or reported them to the site