To wonder where all the normal, single men are?

[Needsmorecake]

because, sure as hell, they are not within a 50 mile radius of me.

This comes off the back of being let down again. I was meant to have a date tomorrow, now i do not.

Lovely man, 40, deputy head of an ' outstanding school' Not only did he send me the most 'penisey' photo, where even in jogging bottoms his cock felt the need to make its presence known, but, after some internet reasearch, i found he had two facebook accounts, one of which he is only friends with very young, very naked, eastern women.

I cancelled the date, clearly he is nuts. However, this seems to be the case more often than not, and its so very very tiring.

Ive been single for 5.5 years, i dont want to remarry, but id just like someone, it seems so impossible.

You meet a lot of odd people on the internet. Depending on your age, you may find it more difficult as a woman, since men in their thirties and forties are often married, and if they are single, and attractive, they may be able to attract younger women, which men often prefer, especially if they are thinking of having a family. It really depends on your age, how attractive you are, whether you have children already, what kind of man you are hoping to meet etc.

But on Internet dating it's easy to look like that. For example I'm late 30s but look early 20s, I am very attractive and don't have to mention my kids. I can tick those boxes initially and I can mention my previous job which is most men's dream, or I can give my age, that I have kids, mention my sensible and difficult degree, and that I'm divorced, giving a very different impression. It doesn't make a difference. I've not even put a photo up on some sites and I still get the same sickos.

A friend of mine had his first serious romance (whom he married) at the tender age of 33. Nothing wrong with him- he went to an all-boys' school and was just very shy and uncertain about dating. His dw is lovely and extrovert, and was able to see past the shyness.

Heck, I only two serious relationships before meeting dw. For large periods of my life, dating was just something that happened to people who weren't pitiable specimens of manhood like me.

This is the thread I mentioned earlier. Warning: contains unpleasant remarks aplenty.

It really does, it also explains some of the experiences we seem to have.

'burds'

kind of offensive to see grown men talking like that and planning to ' damage her'

Thanks for the link Toad, I might have known it'd be HPC!

I had a little read yes some of it is crass but I've read worse on male dominated sites.

Machismo bravado is to be expected and I've been pretty vitriolic about blokes on here so in no position to criticize.

I used to OD, some good experiences, lots of cringeworthy.

I have no appetite for it anymore.

I have had 3 dates with a guy I met on Tinder... so far so good. He's 46, single (divorced), nice personality, good looking, successful... will be interesting to see what happens!

Tinder is actually my preferred dating app because it's so simple. You do get some men asking ''for fun'' but they are upfront about it.

Machismo bravado is one thing but they go too far. I'm all for a bit of banter but when it get to creepy nasty abuse based scariness then I can't stomach it. There was some creep on YouTube last night talking about "rippin' and tearin'" the woman and doing that disgusting tongue between V fingers and thrusting "dance" moves. I want him shot and off my TV forever and I wish I'd never seen that.

Let them reveal their true colours, then we can really see what we are dealing with

RandomInternetStranger has hit the nail on the head with her post above, commenting on her 37 year old friend - "she is bloody hard work and no man will ever live up to her ridiculous standards and unattainable ideals nor would they crack her 37 year habit of living for herself in her own way without ever needing to consider anyone else. She has built her knight in shining armour and sex into such a huge, special thing no one will ever live up to it"

Here, in a nutshell - is the issue - YABU.

Most women, and certainly a good chunk in this thread, seem to want a cross between Jamie Oliver, Channing Tatum, David Beckham and Mother Teresa.

My advice would be to stop looking on glorified sex-sites such as POF to meet men. No matter how these sites dress it up, the majority of people on there are looking for casual sex, or are extremely naive to not understand this - they are the same kind of sites as Fabswingers etc.
See if your friends have any work colleagues etc if you are intent on meeting up. Have a few nights out and just simply speak to people.

I've just read the link from Toad - the second post is exactly right. Completely correct, and gives the unachievable ideals to which women maintain that a man must adhere......

You know what? I get what you are saying and there is a truth in there, for sure, however it's still not all the way there.

I know that I am fat not at my most marketable, but I am a good person, a kind person and have come through life with a positive outlook, inspite of everything. I am a good person, friend and partner.

However large my arse is though, I am worth MORE than an abusive man, more than a manipulative control freak, more than a serial cheat, or a liar. EVERYONE, no matter what shape or size, deserves better than abuse/mistreatment/disrespect. I CAN afford to be picky actually, as I don't want any more kids. I have all the time in the world for the right person. they have to be good enough for ME, for my DS and for my life.

The old adage goes, I can lose weight, but a tosser will still be a tosser.

.. do you not see the unachievable levels to which WOMEN are being held?

To put up with this godawful bootycalling, this manipulation and utter bollocks, being stood up, insulted or 'played'?

We are expected to put up with that because we are not 22, size 6 and loaded?

I used to live in a ME country. women over 30 know they are practically unmarriable. They know that they will have to take whatever they can get, put up with whatever the arsehole throws at her, however many wives he wants to take along side of her, boot her out when he gets bored with her, because she is NOT in her late teens.

If we continually date people who treat us like this, if we don't educate our sons, then what future is there for our daughters?

Laughable response.

Women just "assume" that all men are like this. I met my wife when she was 32, and I was 24. We've been together 10 years, married for the last 2.5, and have two wonderful children together.

Women, and men, have "ideals" that are simply way off target. Both sexes set unattainable "specifications" for people they want to meet, and date/marry etc - however it seems to be only the guys that waive these when they meet people they genuinely are interested in - Women seem to strive for perfection in every aspect, with no lee-way, and anyone who doesn't meet these ridiculously high standards is then labelled "Cheat/Liar/Abuser" etc.

Having read a lot of the posts on this thread, I realise I may be a lone sane voice amongst the masses (of sorts), but you are kinda reinforcing my points...... I have dated women who lied, cheated, and were control freaks - one stole cash from me and attempted to take my car - but you get on with things. Ladies are certainly a more emotional being than us gents, put the penchant for drama is unequalled.

The fact that if a guy doesn't like you, or doesn't meet the ridiculously high standards set - 30, millionaire, own private island, never even looked at another woman but is a trained sex-god - he's labelled as worse than Hitler, and will be on the sex-offenders register..... get a grip girls.

Oh do behave, that's not what I have said at all!

The fact is that men on dating sites are very poorly behaved. Men in REAL LIFE don't appear to behave like that. None of my friend's husbands behave like that, the guys in the office don't behave like that, but when online it's another story entirely.

the question was 'Where are all the normal, single guys?' We know good men exist, we see them in work, with our friends etc but sadly not single and not on OD sites.

answered the question - all the normal men are doing normal things, not hanging around on dodgy sex-sites :D

enjoy your evening - no offence, you certainly spoke sense!! :D

"My advice would be to stop looking on glorified sex-sites such as POF to meet men. No matter how these sites dress it up, the majority of people on there are looking for casual sex, or are extremely naive to not understand this - they are the same kind of sites as Fabswingers etc."

i do wholeheartedly agree with you on this though.

I think women see the whole relationship thing very differently to men. we look at things from a 'love' angle first, whereas until men get to know women, it's a more physical cue at the outset.