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Original poster

DP trying to BF the baby....

205 replies

MadBannersAndCopPorn · 10/04/2014 10:12

That's just it really, I walked into the room after being downstairs for half an hour or so and DP was slumped over the baby in a funny position. He had no top on and looked like he was trying to BF her- in fact I'm pretty sure he was.
I said to him- "Are you trying to breastfeed our daughter?" and his response was "She's my baby too". He wouldn't entertain any more conversation on the subject- so I left it.
Honestly though- is that a bit weird? Has he crossed a line? Is it funny? Was he just being resourceful? I genuinely don't know how to feel about this... Haven't spoken to anyone else about it in RL

OP posts:
Mim78 · 10/04/2014 17:09

I think it's fine. Possibly a good way to comfort her like using little finger to suck or s dummy.

Mim78 · 10/04/2014 17:09

Quite sweet actually!

MysweetAudrina · 10/04/2014 17:12

He's a man I guess you might get same response that I got from ds aged 4 yesterday when I asked him why he pissed in the cats litter tray in his minders instead of the toilet like he normally does/

Somepercentagenotcool · 10/04/2014 17:12

But the fact that this sort of behaviour is not 'normal' is what what would make me feel very strange if my DH did it. Especially if he just then said 'she's my baby too' and wouldn't discuss it further than that.

NurseyWursey · 10/04/2014 17:16

You're entitled to feel strange because you're not used to it, but it doesn't mean it's a weird behaviour.

And like I've said, the poor man is probably embarrassed and cringing inside that his wife saw him doing something people would deem as 'weird', although really it's just a natural thing between parent and child.

FirstStopCafe · 10/04/2014 17:22

It wouldn't worry me. Ds frequently tries to latch on to his dad

MargotLovedTom · 10/04/2014 17:22

I didn't manage to bf for long, so don't really know much about it. If the baby is sucking for comfort not food does that mean they're doing that sort of sucking just on your nip which is bloody agonising?

Surely if they're doing the full on, mouth wide open, getting the aureole in as well, type of action then the milk comes and they're actually feeding, not sucking for comfort?

frogslegs35 · 10/04/2014 17:26

Red flags, really? Hmm

Ok, so it's not socially acceptable or the norm but where's the problem in it. I honestly don't see one.
I think a lot of men have a curiosity about how it feels, more than would care to admit. Who's to say many of our own OH haven't tried it without us witnessing it.

OP - on this occasion your dp is not a freak, he is not abusing the baby.

oddsocksmostly · 10/04/2014 17:31

What's the problem?

Sallystyle · 10/04/2014 17:31

I think it is really cute, actually.

As long as he has no other worrying behaviour it wouldn't cross my mind to think anything bad about it.

pianodoodle · 10/04/2014 18:01

Doesn't it just fall in the same slightly funny category of older siblings wanting to have breast milk on a spoon or squirting breast milk at your husband whose about 3 foot away (and getting a bullseye)

I think so yes!

Your poor husband I think the way you asked probably made him embarrassed you should try and laugh it off with him now :)

Cupid5tunt · 10/04/2014 18:27
Grin
Bulldozers · 10/04/2014 18:33

It think it shows a lovely side to him.

My DH found it hard that he couldn't settle DD like me when she was upset. As shown by the responses our society thinks it's weird but why? He is the dad. Why should a baby using dad as a comforter be more weird than giving a dummy??

Bulldozers · 10/04/2014 18:35

I think the not discussing it was him being embarrassed and

'She's my baby too' just a way of defended himself. Why should he not try to comfort his own baby. He's probably also curious. That it's weird. It's normal.

formerbabe · 10/04/2014 18:53

I think it is really weird.

Not creepy weird.

Just weird.

Comeatmefam · 10/04/2014 18:57

I'm not going to get involved with this but can I just say only on Mumsnet would a majority of people think this is cute/great.

In RL every person I know from all walks of life at work, in my family, friends, school parents would think this very weird (and no I don't just know a bunch of twats).

I don't know if that makes me love Mumsnet all the more or need to come off here for a good dose of real life!

Somepercentagenotcool · 10/04/2014 19:00

What comeatmefam said, I was just thinking that exact thing!

formerbabe · 10/04/2014 19:01

Comeatmefam... Just what I was thinking! I'm surprised so many people think it nothing out of the ordinary!

RhondaJean · 10/04/2014 19:03

It is weird,but thinking back, DH used to latch the DDs on to his nose...

It was quite funny.

Namelessonsie · 10/04/2014 19:12

DP tried to do this with DD1 when I was hallucinating from lack of sleep and was trying to grab a nap.

Apparently she was less than impressed with the chest hair - she latched on and pulled off with a wtf look, then yelled louder for me. I just found it funny!

She was always rooting on him though, through shirts etc. DD2 is just happy with a thumb.

Not weird. Especially if he was trying to help. It's still done in some cultures,

foreverondiet · 10/04/2014 19:26

My father in law claims one of his male friends confided in him that he leaked milk from nipples after his baby was born. I don't think weird.
Babies suckle for comfort as well as milk. I bet he was curious to find out what it felt like...

MargotLovedTom · 10/04/2014 19:35

But but but!!! How do they suck for comfort? I asked this before but no one answered. How does the milk not come and they end up feeding not sucking for comfort?

Namelessonsie · 10/04/2014 19:58

Well dd1 used to suck then get very angry if milk came, but was happy if it was fairly empty, so would keep her on one side when she wanted to comfort feed. Wouldn't take a dummy or suck her thumb, just comfort feed and throw up if she ended up too full.,

Dd2 also would get angry when trying to comfort feed, but milk arrived, so I helped her find her thumb instead. Was then a very happy contented baby.

whomadeyougod · 10/04/2014 20:03

i would find it very weird to walk in on that .

kinkytoes · 10/04/2014 20:03

They carry on sucking for comfort after they've drained all the milk. DS would do it all night if I let him!

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