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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To think holding a vigil outside Marie Stopes is wrong? and to wish there was something I could do (may be upsetting)

999 replies

Menolly · 03/04/2014 00:08

The local Catholic church is planning another vigil next week outside Marie Stopes, I am Catholic although attend a different parish (because I disagree with this ones overly judgmental congregation and uncaring priest). I think it is a horrible thing to be doing, I can see the clinic from my flat and at the last one they blocked the pavement meaning that people had to ask them to move to get through, whether they were going to the clinic or up the road (which leads to the high street, train stations, bus stops etc.).

They do move out the way when asked and they are peaceful whilst there, just singing and praying the rosary, however if I was a teenage girl going in for advice or was in some terrible situation where I needed their services I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to push my way through. Ignoring the fact that the clinic also does STD testing, contraceptive advice, smear tests etc, an abortion isn't an easy thing to go through whatever the circumstances and I think adding to that stress is a terrible thing to do, then considering that these people don't know that the woman they are upsetting aren't going there because they've been raped or because of some other horrible circumstance it makes me really angry.

My eldest child was conceived through rape when I was just 15, I kept him and he's beautiful and I have never regretted that decision but I had a lot of family support that other women might not have and there was a time when I did look at my options and having a bunch of judgmental people singing outside whilst I was trying to get advice would have made things much harder for me at a time when I seriously considered suicide, I hated myself for letting that happen to me and felt guilty for all the stress it put on my parents, I felt I was being judged constantly and lost my own faith for a long time because I couldn't stand the thought that God would let that happen or the guilt and judging associated with church and I hate the idea that people would do something so insensitive and could push someone to making the wrong decision or feeling even worse.

I find the vigils upsetting and I could hear them singing from my living room last time, what I went through was nearly 10 years ago now, I can't imagine how much worse it would be for someone who had been through something more recently or had less support.

I just wish there was something I could do to make these people, who I am sure think they are doing a good thing, see how harmful their vigil could be, but so far I can't think of any way of doing that...

So AIBU to think they shouldn't being doing this? Also if anyone can think of a peaceful way of showing my disgust I'd be grateful.

OP posts:
TheBabyFacedAssassin · 06/04/2014 20:50

Bumbley - so it's the mechanics of an abortion you take offence to? Both an abortion and turning off a life support machine will have the same result and both require a conscious decision that will result in the termination of a life.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 06/04/2014 20:50

Bumbley - very poor form in an argument to deliberately 'misundertand' and misrepresent what people have written. Unfortunately, statements like Japanese, you believe that you 'give birth' to eggs and sperm too? Oh dear. weaken your argument and make you look rather silly.

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 20:51

Ali, I'm well beyond GCSE biology. :) So tell me how you think it is part of the woman's body?

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 20:56

Baby, they may have the same result - death but no, they are not the same thing. Would you say turning off life support is the same as shooting someone in the head? They both have the same result and require a conscious decision that will result in the termination of a life.

Sabrina, I'm not 'misunderstanding' anyone. Japanese said she agreed with the poster and that's what the poster said.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 06/04/2014 20:58

People can read the thread bumbley - you're looking foolish. As well as heartless.

CaptChaos · 06/04/2014 21:01

Do some people really believe in termination to birth? Seriously????

Yes. The NHS does in circumstances where there would be irreparable/substantial damage to the mother's physical or mental health, or the foetus has a condition which is deemed to be incompatible with life. Unless you happen to live in NI, in which case you're screwed, as babyfaced has amply demonstrated.

The other kind of person who believes this is the kind who believes that women have the right to choose what happens to their body. This isn't a question of morals, it is a question of women's fertility rights. I don't believe that anyone has the right to say to a woman, 'Past this completely arbitrary cut off date, you no longer have rights over your uterus'.

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 21:01

Also Sabrina, it's poor form in an argument to resort to swearing and name calling. Those things also weaken and argument and make people look rather silly.(and rude) It hasn't stopped some people on this thread though. Maybe you should write a post to them too?

TheBabyFacedAssassin · 06/04/2014 21:03

Bumbley for once in this entire discussion answer a question without dancing around it and posing a question as a result!

Alisvolatpropiis · 06/04/2014 21:04

It doesn't sound as though you are and it is not my job to teach you rather basic concepts bumble.

You can turn the question back to me in your supercilious manner as much as you like, doesn't make you any less wrong nor convince anybody else that you know what you're talking about. Smile

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 21:04

Capt, as I pointed out to thebody - blackcats did say "unless the fetus has a terminal disability and incapable of life outside the womb." so it seems that she is aware that termination up to term is available under some circumstances.

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 21:05

Ok Ali, may i ask what level you have studied Biology to?

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 06/04/2014 21:07

I don't believe swearing weakens an argument - not that I've sworn on this thread, but I'm not averse to it. I've not name-called either - I've told you that your posts addressed to Baby on here are heartless - because they are. You're beliefs seem to be above another poster's physical wellbeing, when the life of the baby is not even in question. You want to further her suffering just because.

That's heartless.

Alisvolatpropiis · 06/04/2014 21:08

Amazing, truly amazing. Your ability to not answer a question that is bumble.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 06/04/2014 21:09

*your beliefs

darnit

CaptChaos · 06/04/2014 21:10

Bum, as I wasn't replying to you... However. I am perfectly able to read, thanks, and I know what she wrote. As I was replying to her post I felt it was best to give a full reply, even though I used just her question as a quote, for reference, if you will. Even those of us whom you believe to be akin to satan himself for wanting women to have the right to choose are capable of reading and answering questions without your help.

CaptChaos · 06/04/2014 21:11

Sabrina Bum is referring to me. S/he told me off for swearing right at the beginning of the thread, because I am actually 5 and incapable of rational thought. Allegedly.

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 21:11

Baby, I'm not dancing around anything. I don't think they are the same thing and I've explained why. If you don't like me ending with a question - I don't think shooting someone in the head is the same as turning off life support either even though they both have the same result.

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 21:12

Ali, right back at you. Do you not want to say? Did you get beyond GCSE?

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 06/04/2014 21:16

I've got biology beyond GCSE, bumbley. What of it?

Alisvolatpropiis · 06/04/2014 21:17

bumble I have answered your question. The original one. Feel free to scroll back.

It's been some pages with no answer from you however.

Just a reminder - this is the Internet, we are strangers, your latest question is pointless. Any answer I give, you wouldn't believe unless I told you I dropped out of school with no GCSE's at all. Because it wouldn't suit you otherwise.

Looking forward to your big reveal post in which you announce you are a doctor or similar. Wink

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 21:17

Sabrina, I didn't say that you did those things. Just pointing out that they too can weaken an argument so may also be worth a post if you feel inclined to point out things that weaken arguments.

(It's not just you that swears Capt)

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 21:19

I'm asking Ali, Sabrina, but that's good to know. Thanks.

No big reveal Ali, just wondering why you are so certain of your facts. So can you explain how the foetus is a part of the woman's body then?

CaptChaos · 06/04/2014 21:19

(I'm aware of that, I'm allowed to swear though, because I'm an adult)

(I also don't care what you think of me, swearing doesn't weaken my argument, your bigotry does)

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 06/04/2014 21:19

Swearing - so what? An argument's still an argument with swear words in.

Straw man arguments and misrepresenting other's arguments, making out they don't understand things an 8yr old would understand - makes you look foolish. That's what you've been doing, bumbley.

Alisvolatpropiis · 06/04/2014 21:23

bumble

I believe I already have. Feel free to scroll back through the thread.

I'm very keen to see you explain why it isn't. But I have been for quite a few pages now so I shan't told my breath.

I am quite tired of you derailing this thread. Whilst not flouncing, I won't be engaging with you further.

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