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To think holding a vigil outside Marie Stopes is wrong? and to wish there was something I could do (may be upsetting)

2 replies

Menolly · 03/04/2014 00:08

The local Catholic church is planning another vigil next week outside Marie Stopes, I am Catholic although attend a different parish (because I disagree with this ones overly judgmental congregation and uncaring priest). I think it is a horrible thing to be doing, I can see the clinic from my flat and at the last one they blocked the pavement meaning that people had to ask them to move to get through, whether they were going to the clinic or up the road (which leads to the high street, train stations, bus stops etc.).

They do move out the way when asked and they are peaceful whilst there, just singing and praying the rosary, however if I was a teenage girl going in for advice or was in some terrible situation where I needed their services I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to push my way through. Ignoring the fact that the clinic also does STD testing, contraceptive advice, smear tests etc, an abortion isn't an easy thing to go through whatever the circumstances and I think adding to that stress is a terrible thing to do, then considering that these people don't know that the woman they are upsetting aren't going there because they've been raped or because of some other horrible circumstance it makes me really angry.

My eldest child was conceived through rape when I was just 15, I kept him and he's beautiful and I have never regretted that decision but I had a lot of family support that other women might not have and there was a time when I did look at my options and having a bunch of judgmental people singing outside whilst I was trying to get advice would have made things much harder for me at a time when I seriously considered suicide, I hated myself for letting that happen to me and felt guilty for all the stress it put on my parents, I felt I was being judged constantly and lost my own faith for a long time because I couldn't stand the thought that God would let that happen or the guilt and judging associated with church and I hate the idea that people would do something so insensitive and could push someone to making the wrong decision or feeling even worse.

I find the vigils upsetting and I could hear them singing from my living room last time, what I went through was nearly 10 years ago now, I can't imagine how much worse it would be for someone who had been through something more recently or had less support.

I just wish there was something I could do to make these people, who I am sure think they are doing a good thing, see how harmful their vigil could be, but so far I can't think of any way of doing that...

So AIBU to think they shouldn't being doing this? Also if anyone can think of a peaceful way of showing my disgust I'd be grateful.

AmyMumsnet · 06/04/2014 12:09

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your reports.

We understand that this is an incredibly emotive subject matter, but we'd appreciate it if posters could demonstrate some sensitivity when discussing the difficult choices that others have had to make.

We've been through the thread and deleted posts which we feel have broken talk guidelines. However, we have left certain posts as they have been repeated so many times by other posters that deleting the original would be ineffectual and make the discussion more confusing to follow.

Please get in touch if you have any other concerns, and we'd ask everyone to consider our talk guidelines when posting.

AmyMumsnet · 08/04/2014 15:08

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your reports. As people are sharing some highly sensitive details here we'd appreciate it if others could post in a way which reflects and respects that.

We've sent a few mails off-board about this but we just wanted to reiterate it here as well.

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