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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To think holding a vigil outside Marie Stopes is wrong? and to wish there was something I could do (may be upsetting)

999 replies

Menolly · 03/04/2014 00:08

The local Catholic church is planning another vigil next week outside Marie Stopes, I am Catholic although attend a different parish (because I disagree with this ones overly judgmental congregation and uncaring priest). I think it is a horrible thing to be doing, I can see the clinic from my flat and at the last one they blocked the pavement meaning that people had to ask them to move to get through, whether they were going to the clinic or up the road (which leads to the high street, train stations, bus stops etc.).

They do move out the way when asked and they are peaceful whilst there, just singing and praying the rosary, however if I was a teenage girl going in for advice or was in some terrible situation where I needed their services I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to push my way through. Ignoring the fact that the clinic also does STD testing, contraceptive advice, smear tests etc, an abortion isn't an easy thing to go through whatever the circumstances and I think adding to that stress is a terrible thing to do, then considering that these people don't know that the woman they are upsetting aren't going there because they've been raped or because of some other horrible circumstance it makes me really angry.

My eldest child was conceived through rape when I was just 15, I kept him and he's beautiful and I have never regretted that decision but I had a lot of family support that other women might not have and there was a time when I did look at my options and having a bunch of judgmental people singing outside whilst I was trying to get advice would have made things much harder for me at a time when I seriously considered suicide, I hated myself for letting that happen to me and felt guilty for all the stress it put on my parents, I felt I was being judged constantly and lost my own faith for a long time because I couldn't stand the thought that God would let that happen or the guilt and judging associated with church and I hate the idea that people would do something so insensitive and could push someone to making the wrong decision or feeling even worse.

I find the vigils upsetting and I could hear them singing from my living room last time, what I went through was nearly 10 years ago now, I can't imagine how much worse it would be for someone who had been through something more recently or had less support.

I just wish there was something I could do to make these people, who I am sure think they are doing a good thing, see how harmful their vigil could be, but so far I can't think of any way of doing that...

So AIBU to think they shouldn't being doing this? Also if anyone can think of a peaceful way of showing my disgust I'd be grateful.

OP posts:
Dawndonnaagain · 06/04/2014 12:51

Dawn, no one has to post on/read this thread if they don't want to and no one has the right to tell people whether or not they should post.
No they don't, but Baby has already said she keeps getting drawn to it. One had hoped that you would perhaps be kinder, or even leave it...

passmethewineplease · 06/04/2014 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 06/04/2014 12:52

We can concentrate on the Catholic aspect on this thread, because 1) the demonstrations mentioned in the OP are from the Catholic Church and 2) because baby is being denied a termination because of the strong presence of the Catholic Church in anti-abortion legislation in Ireland. Anti-abortion legislation, even when it's to the detriment of a pregnant woman's mental and physical health.

twofingerstoGideon · 06/04/2014 12:52

TBF, our local pro-lifers aren't Catholic, they're Christian Evangelists, mainly men.

thebody · 06/04/2014 12:52

the foetus body is not part of the woman's body

Er wow Bumbly not sure how to answer that one really.

This is in a par with your ridiculous what about the pain of others when someone else has an abortion or similar crap.

You need to check your biology chik.

AfricanExport · 06/04/2014 12:52

oh Dawn. That would require empathy for ones fellow man. a trait bumble does not appear to possess.

twofingerstoGideon · 06/04/2014 12:53

But yes, OP was about Catholic 'protestors'.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 06/04/2014 12:55

The far-right conservatives in the US are just as bad too - always men or ultra conservative women - always misogynists trying to exert control over other women's bodies.

Dawndonnaagain · 06/04/2014 12:56

Aye, African you are right, there!

SuburbanRhonda · 06/04/2014 13:01

unless you think that a pregnant woman has two heads, 4 arms, 4 legs, 2 hearts and potentially a penis if the foetus is male?

Blimey, bum, how much did you have to drink last night? Confused

pommedeterre · 06/04/2014 13:04

I have asked you before on another thread bumbley but I truly am curious - do you have daughters?

MadAsFish · 06/04/2014 13:42

Ie she's not 'being forced' to give birth

Again, on a different thread this time, you actually leave me speechless with horror at your flippant insensitivity. There's no real connection to people at all for you, is there?
I'm quite literally sick to my stomach reading some of your posts, and I applaud the patience of the other posters around you, trying to somehow crack that thick casing of cant in which you are enfolded.

thebody · 06/04/2014 13:56

It's people like Bumbly that we need to be very wary of. Such people are bound by religion/beliefs that make them feel that they somehow have a God given right to trample and stamp over other people's rights.

They have no solutions to offer to real life situations or dilemmas, they don't need to. They belive they are always right and do not need to be questioned or provide answers.

Such people are very dangerous to the rights of others and must be curbed for the sake of our daughters and granddaughters.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 06/04/2014 14:05

I see Bum still hasn't managed to give a yes or no answer to what is a very simple question. Not really surprised.

I agree that for her it is all some kind of academic argument that makes her feel all warm and fuzzy 'cause she's saving ickle babies. In reality her and her ilk are doing so much physical and emotional harm to so many people. They are not pro-life, they are anti-women and pro-back street abortion.

Dawndonnaagain · 06/04/2014 14:05

Yes body. There is no logic to the (flawed) arguments that bumbley provides.

ballsballsballs · 06/04/2014 14:17

I'm playing a tiny violin for those people whose feelings are hurt by the thoughts of others' abortions.

Baby I can't imagine what you're going through. Flowers

passmethewineplease · 06/04/2014 14:40

oh those poor anti abortionists, what must they be going through? Hmm

what a crock of shit.

I couldn't give a hoot about them, in fact I think they should just all go and hide away in a corner somewhere and stop intimidating vulnerable women.

I care about the women having to make hard decisions, the women who may have to face these arseholes.

oh and I still stand by hitting them on their noggin with their own placards. Grin

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 18:20

Alis, so do you think the foetus doesn't have a body? What does it have then?

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 18:23

the body, I'm not the one saying that a foetus is part of a woman's body.

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 18:25

"cause she's saving ickle babies" Why do pro-choicers resort to statements like this on these threads when pro-lifers don't?

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 18:26

"In reality her and her ilk are doing so much physical and emotional harm to so many people. "

and abortion never causes physical or emotional harm to anyone? Hmm

twofingerstoGideon · 06/04/2014 18:33

Why do pro-choicers resort to statements like this on these threads when pro-lifers don't?

Apart from yourself and perhaps one other poster (Pitmountainpony) there aren't any other what you call pro-lifers but what I call anti-abortionists on this thread. Sorry to point out the obvious.

Dawndonnaagain · 06/04/2014 18:39

Why do pro-choicers resort to statements like this on these threads when pro-lifers don't?
No they just show nasty photoshopped videos and posters, lie about the consequences etc...

bumbleymummy · 06/04/2014 18:46

twofingers, this isn't the only abortion thread on MN, I haven't seen anyone that identifies themselves as pro-life on those threads talking about 'saving ickle babies'. I know it would be so much handier for you if we did so you could ridicule/abuse us even more.

Dawn, I have never seen a pro-life poster on these threads (read my post) show nasty photoshopped videos and/or posters and/or lie about the consequences of abortion.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 06/04/2014 18:53

I have seen "pro-lifers" talking about ickle babies on MN. I've also seen them calling women the most disgusting names - like murderers, baby killers - but MNHQ does see fit to delete those. They are always in the minority though, the majority of posters on MN are sensible when it comes to the fertility rights of women.

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